Haven't read the full thread yet as I was becoming nauseous, and I've got a strong stomach!
The one I remember that still makes me boak sounded okay online, but there were few photos. It was a 3 bed semi, 1930s, described as having many original features, and the price was priced around the same as some very nice properties I'd already seen. It was in a naice residential street, and was described as having a large, mature garden and a wildlife pond.
It was a blisteringly-hot day, and when my friend and I got there a young woman aged about 19 answered the door. She was dressed in a loose knee-length dress and dirty flip flops. Her legs that were visible were covered in flea bites: old, well-scratched ones, as well as nice, new lumps. She looked and smelled like she'd just got out of bed. She was flustered and giggly and explained it was her boyfriend's house but he was "out the back".
Most of the windows were wide open "because of the heat" she said. Thank goodness for that because the miasma of smells inside was grim: a mix of unwashed, greasy humans, dogs, cigarettes, cooking, and dirt. It was cluttered and messy with various stuff - mostly broken - that was EVERYWHERE. And empty air fresheners, lots of them. However I was in Ann Maurice, House Doctor mode, and I'd decided to try to see beyond any grimness on viewings and concentrate on the potential.
She showed me and my friend upstairs and it was more of the same. Dirt and clutter everywhere including the stairs and landing but it was the main bedroom that was exceptional. The woman announced it was "their" room.
As well as the usual chaos, the unmade double bed had clearly been occupied until just before we'd arrived. The bottom sheet was visibly stained and damp. The smell of body odour, man-pong and sex (on top of the "normal" smell) in the hot room was - I don't have words... The few bedclothes were so dirty you couldn't make out the pattern, and they stood up stiffly with dirt and grime. The flat pillows were dark grey with dirt and grease as was the wall (no headboard) behind them. The walls had a variety of porn pictures stuck to them, as well as pink, glittery 'LOVE' signs for that feminine touch.
Downstairs we went (we couldn't wait to get outside) through the galley kitchen, past two raw pork chops on a plate with flies and bluebottles buzzing in a holding pattern above them, and out into the 'mature' garden which turned out to be an ordinary garden only with knee-length grass and weeds.
As my friend and I stood gulping the air, our hostess gave a wave towards a breezeblock structure with a corrugated metal roof that ran the width of the plot at the end of the garden. I looked but only had a brief glimpse of a shape at the sole window. I asked if that was her boyfriend. Yes, she told me, he was up there "with the puppies" and went on to tell me that all the dogs and puppies lived there, and it was his "hobby". We made to leave, but she was in her stride now and gestured to a raised oblong made of more breezeblocks. In it were some medium-sized koi. I must have been in some sort of trauma-induced state because I asked helplessly "Is this the wildlife pond?". Yes, she chirruped, there used to be frogs in there but when we put the fish in, they ate them, and then, giggling and excited, told us how the fish had "sucked the legs off them".
Somehow we got out and met the estate agent who had just arrived and was getting out of her car. I can't remember saying anything, but just stood mutely in shock as my friend made a few "suggestions".
I'd forgotten how horrific it was until I wrote this. My friend and I still mention the viewing from time to time when we come across something else that's filthy / horrific. Nothing has ever come close though. And no, I didn't make an offer!