Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re: free school meal vouchers

339 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 06/04/2020 22:35

My mum works in a local supermarket, she told me today that at least 6 of the kids parents from dd 7 and DS 12 school came in to use them but spent them on alcohol. Now let me know if I’m being unreasonable but I find this totally out of order. She said it’s been happening last week aswell.
She said the cards have the kids names on so she knew what they were. She too is disgusted by this but obviously can’t say anything because it’s at work. One of the other customers said he thought it was wrong too.

OP posts:
Forgetaboutme · 07/04/2020 12:37

Mamabear....even if thats costs the state more overall?

Theholidayarmadillo4 · 07/04/2020 12:39

Absolutely agree that this isnt a benefit for the family. Its meant to be to ensure the children get fed. It's not unreasonable to suggest that it should not be used to buy alcohol.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 07/04/2020 12:40

This is specific money to feed their kids.

It’s money to buy food for school lunches for the week. Which the parents have already done with their own money. So the voucher is just replacing the money they have already spent. Voucher is now their own money.

How are you not getting this? It’s very easy to understand.

Jenpop234 · 07/04/2020 12:40

Some people on here really are blind to what's going on around them 95% of parents who get these vouchers will use them as intended, to buy food for their children. I work in a school and I can tell you that the other 5% live in a world of neglect you can't even imagine. They would be lucky to get a bag of crisps out of that money. £15 is easily enough to buy cheese, bread, yogurts, oranges, bananas, and a few other bits for snacks but some people will CHOOSE to spend it on themselves. We've already had some parents come back and ask for more money because the £30 they've got for their children has run out by Tuesday when we know that they're blind drunk most of the day.

sashh · 07/04/2020 12:40

The kind of parent who prioritises their alcohol and smoking over their children is going to get them anyway.

When vouchers with restrictions have been used there has been a trade in vouchers, a £10 voucher might bee sold for £7 or £8, the person buying gets more shopping, the person selling can use the cash to, top up their electricity, buy something their kids need like shoes or clothes, or they can spend it on tobacco and alcohol.

If you have children you are presumably an adult and should be treated as such.

Ellisandra · 07/04/2020 12:40

Doesn’t ring true.
Not the bit about spending food vouchers on alcohol, I’m sure that’s true.
But really your mum - who knows all these parents - didn’t say, “Milly’s mum - and Sarah, you know - Evie’s mum”, either spontaneously or because you said, “who?”. I do not believe you’d be the type to froth on here, yet not be the type to have a wee gossip over the details with your mum.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 07/04/2020 12:41

@dontdisturbmenow

I’m going to buy your child some shoes. I’ll give you the money next Friday. Your child needs the shoes tomorrow so you buy them out of your own money. They cost £40. I give you £40 next Friday. Who owns the £40 in your purse next friday?

PardonWhat · 07/04/2020 12:51
  • It’s money to buy food for school lunches for the week. Which the parents have already done with their own money. So the voucher is just replacing the money they have already spent. Voucher is now their own money.

How are you not getting this? It’s very easy to understand.*

You’d think it would be simple enough.
Baffling.
Unless they’re encouraging buying of food to go to waste?

tictac86 · 07/04/2020 12:52

It makes me angry, those poor children should be getting hot healthy meals with those vouchers. I pay for school meals. If you can afford alcohol and cigarettes then you shouldnt get financial support.

Yesmate · 07/04/2020 12:53

Irrespective of the rights and wrongs the OPs mum should mind her own business.

Yesmate · 07/04/2020 12:54

@boringrobot I really don’t. To act as if poverty and unsafe environments don’t exist is ignorant. It’s not patronising to tell someone they need to be more understanding of both of those things. It’s telling them they need to have more understanding outside their own household and show some empathy.

PardonWhat · 07/04/2020 12:58

If you can afford alcohol and cigarettes then you shouldnt get financial support.

Jesus. Just because someone is in receipt of free school meals it doesn’t mean they’ve turned up at the school (vodka and cigs stashed in back pocket) cap in hand claiming they can’t feed their child.
Quite often they can afford to feed said child.
Schools actively encourage those entitled (as dictated by local authority - not by frivolous spending) to claim as the school gets extra funding for these pupils.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 07/04/2020 13:13
Biscuit
WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 07/04/2020 13:16

None of your business, and your mother shouldn't be talking about people's personal circumstances to you

This

Pretty poor form for your mum to be identifying her customers and their purchases to you

and this

How the hell does your mother know at least 6 parents from your kids' schools? Especially secondary? My mum doesn't even know my friends' parents let alone my children's friends' parents

and this

Your mum really needs to keep her beak out of others business and shopping baskets.

dontdisturbmenow · 07/04/2020 13:18

Which the parents have already done with their own money. So the voucher is just replacing the money they have already spent. Voucher is now their own money
You're not getting it. If the family had enough to buy two weeks worth of food and doesn't need the voucher to buy for the next week, then they never needed the voucher in the first place. They had enough to buy food for the two weeks.

dontdisturbmenow · 07/04/2020 13:22

give you the money next Friday. Your child needs the shoes tomorrow so you buy them out of your own money
The child doesn't Audrey need shoes the next day do they? The vouchers are not for shoes, child benefit is intended for these costs.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/04/2020 13:23

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

You need to be far more understanding of poverty. You need to be far more understanding of safe environments.

Which is why I discussed my own limited understanding and (I thought) clearly invited people to elaborate and confirm/gainsay/comment on my questions - as Jelly did.

We've had some really tough times over the past couple of years, but I fully acknowledge that, whilst we've been having to eke out the very cheapest food at times and had essential direct debits returned by the bank, we've been able to just about tread water and pay bills very late, but before action is taken (and then had late-payment penalties levied, which don't especially help make things easier); we haven't gone hungry or had our gas or electricity cut off. I don't know if there's a phrase for it - maybe 'basically stable but really struggling' might describe it? I know there are lots of families far worse off than us and with no hope of light at the end of the tunnel.

There seem to be a lot of polarised views with 'people on benefits should only eat dust that they've grovelled for' at one end and 'everybody asking for and/or using the financial and social help that is out there is a saint who can do no wrong and there circumstances are absolutely no fault whatsoever of their own'. I rather think that it's an entire spectrum, with most people making both good and bad choices, if they get the chance. This is the same with well-off folk as well - the only difference maybe being that, because there is a lot more money to go around, any selfish decisions made by the parents are funded from the 'excess' that could have made things much nicer for the children rather than the basic funds, without which the children risk going without essentials.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/04/2020 13:25

*there circumstances

THEIR circumstances, of course - not sure how that crept in.

cabbageking · 07/04/2020 13:25

I think sometimes we have to use some common sense about what posts may be accurate and what posts may not be so.

It is up to each person depending on what they know about the system and the processes to decide what is accurate and what may be inflammatory. I can not say

PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/04/2020 13:29

The ones in our area to be spent in Asda say "shouldnt be spent on tobacco or alchohol" I think it would be better if they said cant be spent so it's a clearer message.I dont receive them myself but I have seen the emails with them on.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 07/04/2020 13:29

then they never needed the voucher in the first place.

That’s irrelevant. The LA has decided they are entitled to it and have issued it. So it’s their voucher to spend as they please.

The child doesn't Audrey need shoes the next day do they? The vouchers are not for shoes, child benefit is intended for these costs.

No idea who Audrey is.

Anyway, I’m asking you a question. Nothing to with food.

If I tell you I’m going to buy your child shoes that they need but won’t give you the money til next Friday meaning you need to use your own money to buy the shoes tomorrow, who owns the £40 I give you next Friday?

MamaBearOnLockdown · 07/04/2020 13:30

If you can afford alcohol and cigarettes then you shouldnt get financial support.

and if you are in position to receive financial support, you should be deeply ashamed to even consider wasting money on alcohol and cigarettes - when whatever you have should go to your kids.

There's a seriously nasty kind of posters on here (as in the real world) who believe that their children should come last, for food apparently, but for luxury, should get the smallest bedroom and the last choice for everything.
Why do some people have kids in the first place is anyone's guess

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 07/04/2020 13:32

There's a seriously nasty kind of posters on here

Well you’re certainly right about that...

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 07/04/2020 13:34

Anyone who gets benefits should never ever have a night out, a drink, go to the cinema, buy themselves a new top. That’s what you’re saying mama. Let’s hope you’ve never claimed benefit, or tax credits.

dontdisturbmenow · 07/04/2020 13:36

That’s irrelevant. The LA has decided they are entitled to it and have issued it. So it’s their voucher to spend as they please
It's perfectly relevant. The LA issue it because they believe it is needed. Take some social responsibility and make the decision yourself that if you don't need it, don't use for things it isn't intended for.

It isn't to be used as pleased at all. It's not a lottery win. Pathetic!