Ex not social distancing

[Justlovehermore]

AIBU to tell ex to stay away? He came today to talk to DS13 at the door whilst ex stood far back, they both disappeared and I found them sat in his car.
Ex came a couple of days ago with his gf but said today they haven't moved in together. He also said he's been to see his other kid today. So he's been near loads of people.
He seems to think he's above the law and my DS has been refusing to go to his Dads house for a long time now but he was happy to talk to him briefly and I thought my DS understood to not go right near anyone.
My OH has asthma plus we have other children and we've stayed indoors for nearly 3 weeks already trying to avoid this virus and also couldn't bare the thought of giving it to someone else.

Yanbu to tell him to stay away. He clearly had no issue with mixing households so could easily have caught the virus.
You need to protect your family.

He said he's going to come every day and that I can't stop him. We have 50/50 but our DS hasn't stayed at his since xmas day evening, he's very controlling of DS but has only ever acted the role of a co parent not taken part in parenting.
I feel so trapped in the house now he says he'll come every day. I can't pretend to not to be home and ignore the door.

Does your DS want to talk to him every day?

If he does is there a window they can talk through instead of standing at the door?

We only have windows that open at the top so that's not do able really. DS doesn't mind talking on the phone, it's uncomfortable silences most of the time but wasn't keen on phone calls every day as it was never like that before all of this going on. He certainly doesn't want to see him face to face every day as they can't hold a normal conversation

A father can see his child as per the guidelines, he’s not “above the rules” he is actually following the rules, you can “mix” households if the parents are divorced.

You can ignore the door if you want.

We have been talking to in laws through the window in our dining room which doesn’t open at all - you do need to raise your voice a bit - so a top window should be fine.

Kids are allowed to see their other parent but he shouldn’t be seeing his girlfriend really. I’d feel uncomfortable and insist talking was at a distance if your son doesn’t want to go and see him anyway. Or could they FaceTime?

This is one issue of allowing children to mix households. Where there are multiple children in multiple families. Your son by right could go for a few days in his dad's house. Your ex's other child could be there at the same time, or had been there for a day or two and come from a house where people have to work in the community, and/or where there are other children from other families.

I think, and was flamed for it last week, that the movement of children between houses will need to stop as this crisis continues and worsens in the coming weeks. It has already stopped in Spain I believe. Children are in one house until this is over.

haud
Yes he can but it’s not unreasonable for the OP to not want to do this when she has vulnerable people on the household and the ex is failing to follow all net he other guidelines.

I agree with FaceTime. That's how our families are staying connected. Grandparents are struggling not seeing our little one bit facetiming makes it just a little bit easier for them. Mind you they still keep asking us to come over :-/

I know kids can go between house holds, it makes no sense to me, none of us are allowed near others at all so I think it's based on trusting the other parent to have been safe, I can't trust ex to be distancing from others.
I spoke to him and he's agreed to keep distance but he says his gf stayed with him but has gone home now. That is not allowed either, for all I know she could be back there tomorrow.