Feeling like a rubbish mum to teenage dc

[sunshineanddaffodils]

They were pretty good first 2 weeks in that they did the work set by school starting at around 10am (had to wake them up), did a bit of baking, tiny bit of time outside in the garden.
Now it’s Easter holidays they are extremely resistant to doing anything apart from gaming, YouTube, Netflix etc. Just managed to force the 13 year old to bake something, apparently the 15 year old is going to do some exercise ‘later’.
Their laziness is depressing me. It’s so much easier to motivate younger children. We normally get them out and about at the weekends but all hobbies cancelled for now obviously. I’m just so sad. They were so on track and happy prior to all this and were only 2 weeks in

I know what you mean. I'm just letting mine 'have' their holiday, while having to keep ticking over with tuition during the period, keeping an eye on what's set by their teachers, and encouraging any signs of non-slothfulness.

But DD16 was supposed to be on a school trip to Berlin this weekend, she's had GCSE's snatched away from her, and I think it's okay for them to have a period of depression, frustration and anger. Just not for too long. . .

Most parents I know are having the Easter hols off and then starting schooling again when the kids would have been going back to school.

Younger children don’t realise and you can carry on working but older ones have been looking forward to the break.

Don’t feel bad- if our situation was normal they would be off school now anyway.

I don't have any advice but wanted to say I feel your pain. Mine are exactly the same. Aged 19, 15 and 13. I cannot motivate them to do anything. They are now in a routine of being up very late then sleeping until the afternoon. Then they spend their time on phone, I pad, switch etc. They are being sociable as they chat to their friends all the time. I can barely get two words out of them. I was tearing my hair out but to be honest I am now trying not to worry. It's a strange time for everyone and I guess they need to process and deal with it in their way. It's bloody frustrating though

If I get mine up before midday I count it as a win🤣

Glad it's not just me.... I did get my 13 & 15 year old to help me clear up after I chopped loads off the bushes in the front garden. Sounds like I ought to chalk that up as a major win?!

Mine would’ve had exams after Easter so they would’ve been working flat out revising for them. This is what I keep reminding him of when I got him to do some work today.
It’s hard as we can see that 2 weeks of constant gaming and lazing around is going to bad for them but they just don’t get it.

Does it matter if they are happy. They are on holiday. Mine is 14 got up at lunch and spent afternoon in room on laptop. She doesn’t want to go out and walk with me. We watch a film together in evening and have meals together.

But how happy will they be by the end of two weeks just lazing around, not exercising, not having much of a routine, and too much screen time?
It could make some of them feel very low.

Honestly, take your foot off the pedal, this is extraordinary times and you're ability as a mother won't be based on this.

You're fine, don't worry.

Same here, I’m sure it’s very common. To be honest, they’d be doing that anyway in the holidays in our house, but it would be interspersed with the odd social event, trip out. They’ve had so much taken away from them, ds would be on camp this week, dd had her D of E expedition next week. I think we just need to leave them be for now!

Yeah same here. I think ds is spending more time socialising with his friends via online gaming at the moment than he ever does with them in person in normal times.

I’m forcing the odd walk but we gave up on Joe Wicks last week.

They’re living the dream in their opinion!

YABU. Chill out and leave them alone.

Let them do that and don’t beat yourself up
If they are anything like mine, they will get bored of Youtube and will start looking for things to do. There is only so much Youtube you can watch, even as a teenager

I think they have worked the 2 weeks give them time to regroup. I have had a fed up with everything day today . I am not good at doing nothing

Mine are doing some gardening and they have painting lined up (only garden painting), they help with the house work in the morning, walk the dog with me. They can watch tele/phones etc for prob 4 hours a day I guess - more than usual but needs must!

And YY to socialising through the Xbox et....
I personally prefer to see them doing that than being suck in their bedrooms isolated and being down

Well 4 to 6 hours of tele/phone etc on some days x

We are feeling ☹️ today.

Mourning I think and worried/depressed as to how long this will go on for.

I have to work so did get them to do their homework today after Thursday we are having a week off - at home obviously

DD6 worked really hard this past too weeks but has declared it Easter holidays now so ongoing with that. The last couple of days screen time has been an utter disgrace but we're normally outside I the garden for a good 80% of the day so I'm just going with it. If lockdown lasts ages, I'd sooner we don't burn out in the first month.

I feel guilty because my 16 yr old is left at home so much on her own.
I'm out of the house 6.30-2100(at the earliest),4 days a week ATM but may need more as this ramps up.
She doesn't say anything because she knows I am tired and worries because I can share no details with her other than we are OK with the full protective equipment at the moment.
My mum is calling her everyday for a chat,leaving messages too as no one can get me on working days.
She is still doing college work but luckily did GCSEs last year.
I really feel for those of you with teens in year 11 or A level/diploma final year.,hard for teens and parents alike.

I have three teens in the house, 17, nearly 18 and 19. Oldest has been doing her Uni work, the others have completed their school work faithfully so deserve a break. They are spending lots of time outside in the garden since the weather is so nice and have rediscovered the joys of art and crafts. We've had a full refund from our cottage holiday because of the pandemic, so if anything runs out, we can top up. Once I go on leave (hope it won't be cancelled) at the end of this week, we plan to start sowing in our newly refurbished garden - at least the raised beds are finished and we have most of a patio. There's also a lot of baking going on.

I think you have to not beat yourself up, these are unprecedented times.

mine are still working (but doing exams so are quite motivated)

It's hard I know - I have set times they are allowed in the kitchen and that motivates them to get down for the lunch break. They are also on a rota for cooking dinner which they have taken to really well. Plus baking appeals (it's all a bit food based...).

It's tough for them - they really rely on friends and social interaction. Don't feel bad - its very tough parenting teenagers. Phillipa Perry on twitter gives some good tips.

I'm lucky we have dogs, so they are take it in turns to walk the dogs and get out.

OP there are so many of us in this boat, don’t beat yourself up. As others have said it’s Easter holidays now anyway. Yes in normal circumstances y11s and y13s would be revising away like mad now but I bet many of them would still have been having lie ins and using the afternoons and evenings to revise!

We are in strange, strange times, I think we are all in shock a little bit. I would leave your teens be to be honest.

Better lazing in bed, chatting to mates online and gaming all day than defying current orders and trying to go out to socialise.

I have found with my 15yo (y11) that actually when not nagged he self organises quite well. Yes majority is gaming and chat to mates but he’s also writing and drawing and re reading some favourite books. He’s asked me to teach him to cook. And he will come out for a walk (when told he has to!). For the moment, I think that’s the best I can do. Don’t beat yourself up.

Feeling much better after reading theses replies thanks. At least they seem happy and not stressed or anxious. I think I’ll go easy over Easter then hopefully get back into a relatively healthy routine after, when school work starts being sent again.