Childcare after discharge from hospital

[singlemum81]

I've just spent the last 2 weeks in hospital after a collapse at home. They found a massive bilateral pulmonary embolism in my lungs. I spent some time in intensive care and then high dependency before being discharged.

I have two children (8 & 5) and they've been with their dad (ex husband) all this time. Their school have been very supportive by proving a daily place for them.

Now that I'm home, the school have said that the children can no longer attend. The ex husband is saying that he cannot take any time off work (we have a 50/50 childcare arrangement) and Monday - Friday daytime childcare is down to me. He said he will have the children on his nights only. Which, I'm sure is not allowed during lockdown, so again, all the childcare is going to be down to me.

I'm feeling incredibly weak and tired. Unable to do very much at all, just about able to get dressed and go to the toilet without feeling faint.

AIBU to feel overwhelmed & in need of some support?

What a difficult situation. Is he a keyworker? You can’t physically safely look after them. If you were still in hospital he’d have to care for them. I’d be frank. If he says he can’t tell him he needs to make arrangements as you can’t. You don’t want to end up back in hospital.

have you already been discharged?

Can you call the school and tell them you're unable to look after the DC and can they wait till you're better to remove the place?

Also: your Ex is a selfish shit, but then you probably already know that.

He is right that he can have children on his nights during lockdown. If he is meant to be working and has 2 wks off it is fair enough that he doen,t take anymore. I don,t about you but here it is easter hols for next two wks so schools not open anyway. Have you got other family that can help? May be able to get some support from social services?.

If you contact social services and explain the temporary situation to them they may be able to help. Some children who would be vulnerable at home can still attend school/childcare. Normally your children are fine but at this time when you can't care for them 100% they may fall into this category. I say this to offer support not judgement. SS are not just there to take children away they offer way more support than most people know. I wish you a speedy recovery.