To think there are some men who will make sexually inappropriate comments in any situation?

[SachaStark]

I’m currently volunteering for the NHS. I spend a few hours each day at my local doctors’ surgery manning the door so that people can’t enter all at once. I have to make them queue outside, and direct them to the pharmacy/nurses/doctors’ offices, etc, so that we don’t have loads of people crowding round the reception. I’m really enjoying it, and will continue to do this as long as the schools are closed (usually a teacher)

I was on duty this morning, and as a man was leaving after using the pharmacy, he commented loudly to me, “You should be wearing little shorts stood out here, then we could look at your legs while we wait!”

I mean, really? Even in the case of a national emergency, do we really still have to put up with this shit on the reg? Can’t they have a day off from making stupid sexually-based remarks whilst we get on with more important things?

There was a journalist that asked women to comment with just the age they were first harassed. Mine was 11. Hers was 9. Women just as bad my arse.

Maybe the man was being a bit humorous,to kind of lighten these days of worry.

And would he have said it to a bloke? Very unlikely.

Yes, I agree OP.

I used to work in a private patient facing role, not a GPs' surgery. We had regular patients often coming once or twice a weeks for several weeks at a time so I would get to know them quite well.

One such patient, a man in his mid 60s was always a bit leering and verging on inappropriate but I tended to ignore it until the day he was sitting opposite me at my desk and during our conversation announced 'I like your breasts'.

I made my displeasure very clear to him, after I'd picked my jaw up off the floor - I didn't as pp suggested, tell him to fuck off - and he honestly seemed quite surprised. Unbelievably, I actually think he thought I would take it as a compliment; knob.

I don't know if it made him think about how he was with other women, probably not, but he was certainly a lot more polite around me afterwards.

My son has a sports hobby and there is a parents WhatsApp group. One man puts diasgisting memes on. Sometimes they look innocent and when you open it it has loud sex noises or male genitals on it. I find it offensive and one mum said it was inappropriate. Now when he posts something the other dads make sarcastic remarks about it being inappropriate but with laughing emojis. I find it disgusting but when the sport starts back up I’ll have to stand with all the other parents and the games every week and I’ll be the prude.
Just for the record he isn’t like this I’m real life, but now I know what his thoughts are I find him repulsive.

Kylie can you start up a new WhatsApp group with only the women, as I'd be sorely tempted to?

The 'you should have done blah blah...' comments are not helpful, especially when they come from men. It is usually not possible to come up with a witty or cutting comment on the spot and say it confidently when you've just been shocked/humiliated/made to feel vulnerable. And you don't know how the man will react - leave it there and reflect on his misogyny? Not likely. Always seems to be the words bitch and slag that come out if you ever feel safe enough to challenge them.

I was groped at a bar and my boyfriend at the time got angry with me because I just moved away rather than challenge and humiliate him in front of everyone. I said how do I know he wouldn't have lamped me, followed us out or killed me. Apparently that sort of thinking is ridiculous

@MostTacticalNameChange You're absolutely right.

When I was in my very early 20s I was travelling on a train on my own. It was the middle of the morning and the train was pretty empty.

It was in the days when there were individual carriages without corridors and I was on my own in one of those carriages when a man, very respectable looking, probably in his early 40s, got on and sat diagonally opposite from me across the carriage.

I had my suspicions that he was touching himself but I was stuck in this carriage with him so just sat there hoping I was wrong.

When we got to the first station he got up to leave the train and walked past me with his penis directly in my sight.

I didn't tell him to 'fuck of' or make some scathing comment as some people seem to think they would in those circumstances, I sat there while he got off the train and didn't say a word.

When the train stopped I got off and changed carriages, using a tissue to open the door, I might add.

I spent the rest of my journey terrified in case he'd also changed carriages and was still on the train. Thankfully, I don't think he was, at least he didn't come back and bother me if he was.

I'm in my early 70s now and never told anyone about it until, during 'me too' when I told my daughters as we were talking about our own experiences.

I've never forgotten how that made me feel, all of the things you cited. I certainly wasn't of a mind to come up with something sharp and cutting.

You would likely get a mouthful of abuse at best or a punch in the face at worst if you retaliate anyway.

I spent some years volunteering on a well known charity support line. We were often inundated by sexually inappropriate calls from men to the extent that many a potentially excellent volunteer left as they could not cope with it. Whilst the advice was to terminate such calls some of these men are so ‘experienced’ at manipulation some poor volunteers were enveilged into the call too late 😒 so sad, for the volunteer, the organisation and the waste of time, money and effort to train the volunteer who leaves. Such men should be ashamed of themselves and leaves one asking the question why? Why do it ?

Most decent men are actually oblivious to the comments, groping, etc that the arseholes indulge in. I've never seen a bloke call another bloke out on the spot, and I'm 51. And until men actually start calling out the twats, we're not going to eliminate this kind of behaviour.

When my ds was 9, we were walking down the road and he turned to me and asked "mum, why do men in vans stare at women so much?"

That's how bad it is...that a nine year old boy notices.

I've never seen a bloke call another bloke out on the spot, and I'm 51.

I've been offered help twice in almost 50 years. And let's be really honest, it happens in public a LOT so men are seeing it. They just don't get involved. Which is fine, as long as they don't pretend NAMALT because far too many are and the ones that turn a blind eye aren't helping.

I'm still friends with one of the strangers that helped me. I married his best friend. I imagine the man who was sexually harassing me the night we met is still out there making other women angry and sad.

OP, don't you know ???

Us women are supposed to be flattered that a man blesses us with his gaze!

The poor menfolk just don't know any other way, we shouldn't hold it against them!

Yawn. Yeh its a bit 1970s. Cringey. Don't get uppity. Just look bored and ignore him.

Revolting. What I fail to understand is why they think women want their attention

Many times I had comments said to me and I’m always too stunned to say anything sharp or tell them where to go. I shouldn’t be surprised but I have been because each time it has made me feel so uncomfortable and often vulnerable

I despise how so many men view women and girls and it’s not a small minority either

If it was a patient I was not keen on I'd say " that's inappropriate".

I had some grotbag try to chat me up in an A&E waiting room once. Yes, there is a sizable proportion of men who have no idea that there are quite a lot of situations where it is not appropriate to make advances on a woman. The same ones won't get it into their thick skulls that the only acceptable place for explicit comments about body parts is in the bedroom with a sexual partner.

Yup. My latest was pretty mild compared to some, but it really irritated me. Standing at the school gate with toddler DD2. She'd fallen asleep, so I had her cuddled in my arms. A dad who I don't know at all walked past and said, "Ooh can I change places with her?' 🙄

Don't get uppity. Just look bored and ignore him in other words 'Women, know your place'

Lots of blokes are dickheads and will be a dickhead no matter what the circumstance.

Quite what they get out of it, I just don't understand.

Can I comment as a male? He was totally out of order. The OP is a volunteers trying o help and he should not comment on her manner of dress or anything else.

What a complete fucktard. I bet his pre-frontal cortex resembles a desolate wasteland with barely a synapse to be seen.

Creep.

Grim! However, women can be equally as sexist imo

Riiiiiiiiight.

Can I comment as a male?

Since you're here. How frequently were you sexually harassed on the street starting in childhood by women, in groups, singly, all ages? From about 10 years old for reference.

Of course you don't have to answer. Just to check if women are just as bad.

Thanks!

With regards to the comment in the OP , I'm more likely to retort with something like " why don't you wear them then more people would stay in!"
Sadly there is so much of this about but most of the time its an awkward and poorly thought out attempt at humour/ ice breaking .