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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you what your lockdown persona is like? (sorry it's a bit of a monlogue!)

18 replies

Hardymonica · 06/04/2020 12:14

I have turned into Mrs Justaboutgettingby. She does her bit getting shopping for neighbours, staying home when not rostered on her ‘key worker’ job, clapping the carers etc. but compared to everyone else out there, she’s probably on the lower end on the scale of productively-spent lockdowns.

As Mrs Justaboutgettingby, I find myself admiring all the initiatives going on but at the same time rejecting them all, like the quarantine grinch. My thighs haven’t seen a single Joe Wicks workout – frankly I need all my energy just to get through the day and it’s all too reminiscent of Winston doing his morning physical jerks in front of a telescreen in Orwell’s 1984. I prefer a good walk with the dog and a bit of a run around in the garden because that’s what we’d normally do if we were having a lazy day. Normally. Turns out normal was wonderful and gathering little nuggets of normal helps create an illusion where the virus hasn’t completely taken over our lives.

I confess there’s no rainbow in our window – it feels eerily like putting a plague amulet up and my yellow felt tip has run out anyway. I grudgingly took part in a stifled Zoom chat where we all looked like a split-screen intro to a naff eighties soap opera and after spotting how horrific my roots are, I promptly pretended my Wi-fi had gone down.

I’ve cocooned our family away from news articles apart from the mere headlines and social media has become a terrifying place. People bombarding me with naff quizzes, Olympic standard homeschooling, ideas and more ideas, bossy hashtags and a disturbing degree of self-righteousness and shaming. Human contact and freedom of movement are basic human needs that are being denied to us, by all means vent your anger at the reckless rule breakers but don’t ever call this thing easy.

So my lockdown persona is probably a rather quiet, grumpy one, just living one day to the next and ignoring the knot of worry rooting in my chest. However, something seems to be emerging from my cocoon. A slightly better version of me that rings my Mum every day, sends cards to let people know I love them, thanks God every day for good health, thinks deeply every day about the bravery of NHS workers and doesn’t bin a wrinkly pepper. Next time I go to a beach, a restaurant or a park or stand at the school gate, I will savour every sight, smell, noise, with a new appreciation that I could never have had before. So my lockdown persona may be not perfect but I have to forgive her and be kind to her - she’s just getting by.

OP posts:
Welcometothequiz · 06/04/2020 12:19

I'm just staying in bed, sleeping it away. I'm no better or worse a person than I was before

Escrima · 06/04/2020 12:24

I love this post, and your writing style! I am the same as you - definitely just getting by as best I can. It helps that I enjoy cooking so I can meal plan and avoid waste. But I'm hating being cooped up in the house. I'm never again going to complain of being bored after this is over! Your sentence got me - "it turns out, normal was wonderful". Very very true 😥

OlaEliza · 06/04/2020 12:30

I've done fuck all except sit in the garden, and create an indent in my mattress 😂

I'm not bored enough yet that my house is spotless.

I've had no takeaways though do that's a positive 💪

sallycinnamon14 · 06/04/2020 12:33

I have all these big ideas about doing creative and fulfilling things. I started a blog I haven't written on. Keep meaning to do all these wonderful things with the kids that they'll remember. But in reality I'm a bit like Mrs justgettingby at the minute! I'm working from home and it's hard enough trying to concentrate on that while keeping the kids busy and off screens without trying to accomplish something amazing.

Without the time restrictions of school run and work the one useful thing I have done is started exercising first thing so a yoga session or a run and i do think that sets the tone for a good day.

AnPo · 06/04/2020 12:38

I've realised I hate being at home with my DC full time...

I've been a SAHM for the last four years and the only thing keeping me going was the break of preschool/activities. I've never enjoyed it but I did it as I thought it was "best for them". So my lockdown persona is MsThinkingaboutmyselfforonce Smile I'm no longer going to sacrifice myself at the alter of motherhood and have started polishing up my CV so I can get the hell out of dodge once this thing lifts!

Rainbowb · 06/04/2020 13:05

Glad it's not just me! I can't be bothered with any of it, I just want everything to go back to normal and for the horrible deaths to stop.

Geraniumblue · 06/04/2020 13:33

I’m ashamed to confess I am enjoying myself - this happens every time I have a lot of time to myself. I am furloughed, and after a brief weep over being unwanted, I am living at home, baking, gardening, reading books, sewing. I have slowed down into a peaceful rhythm. There is no rush or anxiety that I am not good enough/nice enough/productive enough as other people and usual standards have been removed. I don’t have to grapple with anxious and demanding work colleagues. It’s always like this. When it’s ‘real life’ I struggle with anxiety and self esteem. When I can retreat into my own world I am at ease. It is maybe massively selfish. But I am being very honest.

Sipperskipper · 06/04/2020 13:40

Finding it hard being at home with my (lovely) nearly 3 year old all day. I only work very part time usually (but in an interesting, challenging job I love) and our week is broken up by seeing friends / preschool / park trips / maybe swimming etc. I’m not furloughed, but as a pregnant frontline HCP it’s not massively safe for me to continue.

I usually really, really like being at home & with DD, but I’m finding it a bit boring and draining, and I’m not the ‘fun’ mum I thought I was really. Finding the mess from being home all day very irritating too. I think I’ve become uptight and a bit grumpy since this, even though I know how lucky we are to have a home and our health.

LittleMissTeacup · 06/04/2020 23:28

I can relate OP!
Also I love your comparison to 1984 - there’s been quite a few moments during this time when I’ve found the similarities uncanny!

MovingBriskyOn · 06/04/2020 23:37

Op, once lockdown is over, and we can be arsed to shave our legs, brush our hair and remember how to fasten a bra; please will you marry me?

I k ow people who have dug their gardens, others who have redecorated their entire houses. Even those who have watched improving documentaries. I, meanwhile, have achieved a number of levels at candy crush, haven't opened a book, my floordrobe remains (despite promises to DH). I find I am, quite literally, a slob

justgivemewine · 06/04/2020 23:53

Joe wicks can prance about as much as he likes at 9am, good for him, but I won’t be joining in, my bed is far more inviting.

No rainbows here although wouldn’t mind if the kids wanted to do one but it’s more a case of just not got round to it.

Won’t be clapping again this week, first time was meaningful, now it’s just turning into a “aren’t a great for clapping at anything and everything” fest

Homeschooling, as and when, whatever, not worth getting stressed overpriced stressing the kids over.

But.. have got in contact with an old friend from years ago over Facebook and we are having some hysterical 😂 chats,
I’m in contact with my parents far more regularly than before,

So currently watching have I got news for you done by video link.

Things could be worse

BogRollBOGOF · 07/04/2020 00:05

Still SAHMing plus reliving the frustrations of my teaching days. The DCs are pretty good at school, I get the demotivated versions at home. I'm active wear mum at the school gates and still doing my running, trying to hide on my now not-so-secret-as-I'd-like-to-think trails. I have mused on defuzzing now the weather is warming up. I wonder if I need to do a first cut with the hairdressing scissors...

Still wasting too much time on MN, but often putting the phone down as the Coronastasi are too depressing.

Titsywoo · 07/04/2020 00:14

Im Miss Superbusy. I need to stay active to keep myself sane. Basically i dont stop all day then at 7 have dinner and watch tv like i always have done. Ive been working, cleaning, gardening, painting - its all a bit manic Grin

Littleshortcake · 07/04/2020 00:16

I love your post. Well you are still working so you are doing amazing as far as I'm concerned. I have to do a small bit of work online. I have baked. Potted plants (a few). Home schooled (one hour a day max) with reception and year one child. Walked 40 mins a day. That's it. We did a small bit of art this evening like most days. But we are not doing anything taxing. I am loving all the extra time for kisses and cuddles with them. I am bored and a bit sad but it's ok.

Oblomov20 · 07/04/2020 00:25

Dh is out at work every day. I have 2 part time jobs and have been working incredibly hard, at home, it's my busiest time of the year.

Ds's (teens) seem totally fine.

I haven't had the time nor the inclination to clean any cupboards or anything.

Mind you, doing as little as possible is my norm, so no real change there.

I'm becoming more and more victor meldrew each week!

cherryblossomgin · 07/04/2020 00:25

I've started knitting again and I'm eating better. I'm pretty good at being a hermit no major change. I'm a key worker with vulnerable people so DH is doing the shopping and I'm at home unless I'm working.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 07/04/2020 01:16

I think I’m MrsMyRoutineIsNoRoutine as I have no timeline for daily events. I have noticed a lot of personal on tv saying “you’ve got to have a routine” but to that I say, frankly, fuck off, this is one of the few times in life I can get away with doing fuck all. I don’t do fuck all all day obviously, but certainly some of the day. I am doing odd jobs here and there when the mood takes me. I know I don’t have to rush. The only routine I do have is an evening call with my mum and then we all sit down and watch Death in a Paradise or Friday Night Dinner until it’s time for bed. We are a family of introverts, not having to come up with excuses to get out of social events is brilliant.

Mumshappy · 07/04/2020 01:26

Im Miss Cantwaitformytoddlersnaptime. After lunch i accompany ds23 months upstairs for our nap. Sometimes its for two hours!!

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