So worried about my husband

[GaaaaarlicBread]

Not sure where to put this but please be kind , any words to calm me would be appreciated .
My Husband and I are expecting our first baby in 4 months time . We’ve been together 7 years , married for just over one year .
He’s working front line in the nhs with Corona positive patients. Where he is they are very lucky and have all the correct PPE, they are told to shower before leaving work etc , he’s being very clean and his hands are red raw from constantly washing them (all up his arms too).
He’s very healthy and generally doesn’t get poorly . I’ve had the flu really bad twice in the last three years and he didn’t catch it. And my MW thinks I had Covid-19 in January but they weren’t testing at the time so I was treated for general respiratory infection as well as sepsis (baby is fine). I was very poorly but DH again didn’t catch it . I’ve only just properly recovered.
I’m worried sick to my stomach that he’s going to be one of the next ones to be taken down by the virus , after seeing news stories on the deaths of healthy nurses and midwives . Especially with our baby on the way. I am losing sleep over if. He’s told me it’s a scary situation but he’s in the safest areas at work as the patients are ventilated so not coughing etc and he’s wearing all the gear. But I just can’t stop thinking about him getting it and being really poorly or even worse . And I find myself thinking what if he’s keeping safe at work but then goes to the supermarket to get our weekly food shop (I have to distance myself for 12 weeks so I’m staying inside where possible) and then gets it from someone there !
I’m so bloody frightened it’s unreal. I can’t eat or anything . I’m a mess. Please can anyone advise me on how to stop these awful thoughts ?
Im off work for the 12 weeks as I also work at a hospital but being high risk I’m able to stay away.

If you've already had it then your DH was almost certainly exposed then - sounds like he might have been one of the many people who have no or very mild symptoms.

Anxiety in pregnancy is bloody horrible - have you talked to a HCP about how you're feeling?

@tableclothing thank you for being gentle on me , it really is awful and I’m seeing my Consultant Obstetrician on Thursday so do you think I should mention my anxiety to her?
They’re pretty sure I had the virus but they didn’t test as it wasn’t really in the U.K. knowingly in Jan, so there’s no way for them to be sure just yet but I was so poorly it was like I had pop corn in my lungs popping away, I could hardly breathe. He never catches anything I have , he is superman I swear! But there are so many healthy people passing away which is just sending my mind through the roof in overdrive

@GaaaaarlicBread I'm so sorry you're feeling so much anxiety, these are difficult times. It might well be that he has had it when you had it in January, lots of people don't have symptoms.

I believe my OH has it at the moment but he seems to be getting a little better, so it's not always really bad.

Try not to read to much news, it's not helpful and it will only make you more anxious. Instead look forward to having your baby and hopefully we will be out of lockdown and you can walk in the park with him/her.

Your DH also does have the correct PPE, so that's a massive positive.

@hesgotit thank you so so much 🌹 you’re right he probably just didn’t show symptoms , I guess as a nurse you pick up all sorts and have a better immune system than others . First time mum nerves I think ! Definitely not helping myself !
I’ll switch the news off today and enjoy the sun ☀️ in the garden I think.

That's it @GaaaaarlicBread, but do come here to chat if you need to.

Do you know what sex your baby is? Do you want to say? Any names?

You'll have some stories to tell your little one about the pandemic when you were pregnant with them.

Bless you it's not a nice time for this and anyone would worry and even more with being pregnant.

Try to keep busy and positive and def talk to hw about how u feel

I'd try and get groceries delivered from anywhere you can find, local businesses etc and try mediation and breathing exercises. It can really help with fear and anxiety especially in these times. Good luck

I read this and thought he has probably had it just had few / no symptoms too

Try and relax I know it's easier said than done

Thanks so much everyone , you’ve made me feel more cheery . It doesn’t help when you’re home alone either , just you and your brain going round and round ! He is off tomorrow and Wednesday so that’s nice. We’ve tried looking at anywhere that can deliver but there’s literally nothing . Nowhere at all has any slots , and we live in a city and little independent meat farms etc won’t deliver to us so the only option is to walk to the supermarket 😟 I know people have it much worse than this, so I shouldn’t be moaning as some people have no means of getting food which is awful .
@hesgotit we are having a little girl ! So excited and my husband is over the moon! We are naming her Matilda , working on a middle name , initially we were going for rose or Rosalie but they’ve become quite common so we’re using Elizabeth I think! Really hoping she looks like a Matilda as we’re so set on it haha

Oh what gorgeous names! I love them. Enjoy him being at home for two days, rest and binge watch tv!

@hesgotit thank you ever so much 💕🌹
And we will do definitely , do you have any recommendations for films / series ? We started to watch The Invisible Man (I think that’s what it was called), but it for late so we are going to finish it tonight . It’s so good! Very intense / we like thrillers etc

If you can get it a place to call home, set in Australia and I loved it.

Not sure where it is on though.

Hello,

I can relate as my husband is a general surgeon who two days ago operated on his first Covid19 positive patient . The operation which usually takes him 45 took him over 2 hours with the PPE suit on and he said he felt light headed whilst doing it because of the heat of the suit and the operating theatre has to be kept warm so that the patient doesn’t get hypothermia.
I am really scared for him as I know over the coming weeks the patient figures will ramp up . My worries are the contact he will have the other healthcare providers in the mess etc . I just can’t see how he will avoid catching it. My other worry is that he will bring it home to the kids, how on earth to you completely separate and disinfect every single he touches . I am trying to support him as this is awful what the NHS are going through but obviously the children are my world , he’s their step dad and has not seen his children so I feel it’s in his mind he may give them something 😞

Aw, sorry it’s so stressful for you at the moment, but it does sound like your DH is doing his absolute best to keep you all safe.
I think anxiety during pregnancy is pretty standard. I know that I certainly suffered from it and I’m normally very laid back. Look online and see if you can find some relaxation techniques.
Supermarket slots - I know it’s a pain, but if you can, keep looking on their sites a few times a day. I unexpectedly stumbled upon some Tesco slots a couple of days ago.
I’m thinking of watching the Twilight series again. I know they’re a bit naff but needs must.
In the words of George Harrison - ‘All things must pass’. (Showing my age - I bet you're too young to know who he is).
Take care

Sorry I am new to mumsnet and can’t seem to delete my comments above . Another way to think of this situation though is that staff at the hospitals know the risks in dealing with the virus and are taking the upmost care to try to prevent themselves getting it . I think the supermarkets are the riskier places to catch it. We have been shopping in the express stores as they seem a lot quieter that said Asda was excellent in their safety measures when I went the other day . Also remember the majority of people who get the virus recover well, my niece whose a nurse had it and luckily for her it was just like a bad cold. Try not to overthink things, it’s easy to catastrophe this situation, I know as I have been there and done that xxx

OP, Matilda is such a lovely name. Congratulations!

I can imagine it is worrying but your husband has indeed most likely had it and not noticed.

My late father's side of the family were extraordinary people healthwise.

They all lived to incredible ages with very few illnesses if any.

My paternal grandmother at 70 was found to have stage 4 cancer and was given the option of palliative care or, because of excellent private health insurance, chemotherapy. We are talking over 50 years ago.

Unbelievably she experienced next to no side affects from the chemo, never lost her hair and made a full recovery and lived a fit and happy life until she died in her sleep in her late 90's....so lucky. At the time her oncologists said they had neither seen nor heard of a recovery like hers.

Some people do enjoy, through pure luck, very strong immunity.

Mine is good, but my 4 children have never required an antibiotic which is rare also considering their ages. I firmly🤞 believe they have gotten a bit of my grandmother's genes in them.

I think you will be fine and its highly likely your baby will inherit your husbands strong immune system too.

Keep posting here, when you feel anxious. Writing down your worries can be very helpful.

Hi!
Me and my husband both work in supermarkets and I just wanted to let you know that your not alone in the way your feeling.
I feel exactly the same, I’m petrified that my husband will get it and my anxiety is at an all time high.
I had started to have therapy to overcome my anxiety before Covid and it has been cancelled because of lockdown. Last week I had a complete meltdown about going to work and us both getting it and him dying. My husband told me to ring my therapist and ask if she can help me.
She could and we had an hours session through zoom on the computer and it’s actually helped me calm down and bring my anxiety down . It’s very scary at the moment so I know how your feeling .