To move because of next door

[ShaunaRae]

I am fully prepared to be told AIBU but I think I just need to vent!

We moved into our current home a few years ago after a lot of saving. It is a nice area and was only in our budget as it was very run down and needed a full renovation. My husband is a builder, so although it took a long time to feel like home it finally does but the neighbours are ruining living here!

They are a family around 10 years older than us, around mid 40's. They are in their garden what feels like 24/7, playing loud music, screaming and shouting which can also be heard indoors. There is not one moment I have spent in my garden without hearing their noise. I know it is people's homes and they can do as they please but it is the sheer lack of respect they have for anyone else also enjoying their gardens. All summer is constant party's with 15 plus people out there until 5/6 in the morning. We have spoken to them twice about them disturbing our young children's sleep (they also have children not much older) and they seemed apologetic and said they hadn't realised the time, but the next night was the same again and so forth.

Lockdown has heightened the issues as there is just no enjoyment to sitting outside, enjoying the fresh air. It has gotten to a point where I just want to sell up but this has under-stably upset my husband after all the hard work he has put in to make this a home for us.

I'm sorry this is a long one!

I wouldn’t like this either and would want to move too.

Why bother posting on MN? Just go. They sound awful!

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to want to move. It’s my personal opinion that there’s going to be a housing price crash so Id suggest you wait to see what happens and for stable prices so you achieve best possible price for your house.

You could go down the route if reporting then to the council, noise abatement order etc but then you’d have to declare that and this would likely put off buyers. So no, wanting to move is understandable.

Next house though, you’d need to be sure it’s quite far apart from neighbours because you’ll never know who is already living there or move in after you.

I couldn’t live with neighbours like that. You need to move-they will drive you insane.

Move definitely! Great neighbours make all the difference we have young children either side don't , I try to make sure that they leave the neighbours alone for the most part while there in the garden even though they say they don't mind and also tell them off for screeching etc if there out, although we do all talk over the fences etc and they keep the noise down in the evening after 9.30/10 it's about being considerate to each other , which yours are clearly not , I would.keep complaining EVERY time they do it though!

Maybe they'll move? DO you think that their growing family will outgrow their house?
I really couldn't bear it, and would have to move, as get irrationally upset and cross by noise.
If they are a loud family I doubt they'll change, so you might need to find a detached place in the middle of a field somewhere.
You have my sympathy.

It’s a hard 1 some people are really sociable but if it was everyday then I’d understand.

I currently am having the opposite problem with my neighbours they called 999 last week because we put some music on at 18:30 which woke their 3 year old. 999 during a pandemic @ 18:30 ......... They have made loads of noise complaints because they work from home and we are doing a full renovation which I am primarily doing myself so takes time. We generally never make a noise and live out of 1 back room and have a baby ourselves. It’s horrible living with an atmosphere and I’d move if I could. But it looks like they have decided that they can’t live in it either and have disappeared in the last week. Don’t know what to say except is it daily or do they have friends around at weekends if it’s the later then it’s to be expected some people enjoy socialising and the council has noise limits if you feel they are breaching them then contact them. My neighbours refuse to contact the council, because they know that in no way is it unreasonable to scrap wallpaper at 10am on a weekday, or 6pm at night when asked to stop during the day, or 11am on a Saturday because they work during the week and their child child is in bed at 17:30 then catching up on sleep at the weekend.

@MrFaceyRomford To be honest, I don't know I think I just needed someone else to say it! With the looming drop in the market I don't know if it will be as easy to leave as I was hoping.

@AdoreTheBeach t
Thank you for your reply,
This is most definitely the worst time to be thinking about upping and leaving. I feel completely trapped as we cannot afford to loose out after putting all of our savings into it.
This is a detached and is quite well separated we are much higher and our house is set in front of theirs, it's just the volume of them. Living in the countryside would be a dream after living next door to shameless, ha ha.

@Fromthebirdsnest
You sound like lovely neighbours, as do yours.

It is all about respect for each other and would love to have a mutual understanding with them, but can't see that happening any time soon!

@Fromthebirdsnest

Forgot the last point, I don't want us to come across as 'the boring couple from number %#'

If you try to sell i hope you are honest with potential buyerrs as to why, but i imagine all your renovations weren't that quiet to them either.

@SecondaryBurnzzz

Thanks for the reply, weird question but do you have misophonia by any chance? Apologies if not!

I get so irrationally angry when I hear them although I know before I've even stepped out that I will. We wanted a detached house for the above reason but with a decent gap between us and separate walls we are still no better off.

@Confusednewmum1
I'm very sorry, that sounds terrible!!
Very interesting to hear the other side of it, I don't complain for the same reasons you've said, I completely understand that people have party's and play music as do we but it's the amount of party's and the volume of it ALL THE TIME.

I do want to get along with them and would never dream of reporting it as they aren't doing anything necessarily wrong. I just wish abit more consideration was given at 3AM.

I’d move. They won’t change.

@AlmostAJillSandwich

As their is no official complaints been made I do not have to specify this but would if I felt necessary, after all I do need to sell!

We are detached and are set much higher and further forward (if this makes sense) and all was done indoors so hardy any disturbance to neighbouring houses. No works needed outdoors.

If this is going to be your lifelong home then I would complain. Otherwise you will just be letting this eat away at you for no reason.
If the behaviour settles to reasonable or ‘objective level’ - ie you might find it problematic but someone else wont, or they move, you won’t need to declare it should you choose to sell later.

Contact the council, noise nuisance. You will get a chart to fill out to record noise levels and disturbance etc., which is potent evidence. The council need the evidence in order to pursue a complaint.

Are people still being issued ASBOs? Your neighbours would qualify if so.

Fight for your house and peace op

Go down all routes first environmental health etc though at the minute don't think you'll get far....but if I'm honest I'd have kicked off long before now. You have to be honest when selling as well. It's not fair to pass the problem on to some other poor fucker. You should have done some research before you moved in...spoke to neighbours etc which buyers may probably do if you do put it on the market then you'll be up shit creek anyway.