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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to move in with my boyfriend during lockdown?

27 replies

leftyvegan · 05/04/2020 22:13

BF and I have been together for nearly 10 months, live separately. Have been putting up with lockdown thus far, but both missing each other etc. Thinking of combining households permanently for the duration of the lockdown... has anyone here had any experience of this or any thoughts generally?

OP posts:
bonnieclydesdale · 05/04/2020 22:16

This is what the guidance says:

Home buyers and <strong>renters should, where possible, delay moving to a new house while measures are in place to fight coronavirus (COVID-19).</strong>

So if you and he already have a place to live then you shouldn't be moving house.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 05/04/2020 22:18

YES!!! 🤦‍♂️

hammeringinmyhead · 05/04/2020 22:21

You were supposed to do this before further measures happened 2 weeks ago, if at all. If one or other of you has it but does not yet have symptoms, you will give it to the other person.

Original poster
leftyvegan · 05/04/2020 22:21

Probably a bit unclear in my OP, I mean, him moving in permanently with me - then self isolating and both WFH.

OP posts:
DarklyDreamingDexter · 05/04/2020 22:23

Too late. Should have done it before the lockdown. Now you’ll have to wait...if you plan to abide by the rules of not mixing with anyone from outside your current household.

Ledkr · 05/04/2020 22:25

Surely if you have both self isolated for two weeks the risk is minimal

Darbs76 · 05/04/2020 22:25

Technically you shouldn’t no.

bonnieclydesdale · 05/04/2020 22:26

How are you going to move all his or your stuff if you do move in together?

Original poster
leftyvegan · 05/04/2020 22:28

@bonnieclydesdale I’d drive and pick him up, so we’d put it in my car. We’d only really need clothes and stuff for WFH, so it is doable - just don’t want to flout the rules, going off the Jenny Harries advice of combining households is fine.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 05/04/2020 22:28

If you have both been wfh and not in contact with anyone else then personally I cant see any harm in it. However plenty of people will say him driving over to yours with his stuff could result in an accident which will put unnecessary pressure on the nhs and risk other people.

inflam · 05/04/2020 22:29

It's absolutely the wrong time to be developing a 10 month relationship into cohabitating partners.

BeetrootRocks · 05/04/2020 22:31

If you're going to stay together and follow all the rules for however long it takes then I don't see why not. However what happens if it is s long time and you don't get on? Moving in together can expose stuff you didn't know before and you're going to be stuck together, it could go bad.

MaxNormal · 05/04/2020 22:32

I would. You ding know how long this will go on for and would be nice for both of you to have the company.

okiedokieme · 05/04/2020 22:32

We did this but I was by chance at his house on the day of lockdown and we were intending on me moving in. All depends on your relationship as to if this is wise, risk is minimal it sounds like

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/04/2020 22:34

You've left it too late. Sorry.

You are already in lock-down. So no merging of households now.

And 10 months in? You'll drive each other up the wall in a week. And then you're stuck together.

Original poster
leftyvegan · 05/04/2020 22:36

We’ve been on a holiday for a week together, plus staying over at each other’s houses every weekend. I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘picking my adult child up from uni’ threads - surely this is similar...

OP posts:
FizzyPink · 05/04/2020 22:37

I’m in the same position as @okiedokieme although I’d already been here for a week so we’re now on week 3 together. You really should have done this before now, I highly doubt either of you have not left the house at all in the last 2 weeks.
Also I will say, if you do decide to do it, spending 100% of your time with a newish partner with nowhere to go, no one leaving to go to work etc it is hard! The first 2 weeks were absolute bliss but now we’re having to try really hard not to be snappy with each other at times

inflam · 05/04/2020 22:40

I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘picking my adult child up from uni’ threads - surely this is similar...

No, it's nothing like it. It's a ridiculous time to intensify a short relationship. Please put your own safety first. There is no out for people just now. Do not move in together. If I'm the relationship is going to work it will work. You can wait . Protect yourself.

goldenorbspider · 05/04/2020 22:42

If neither of you have symptoms I would. Could be a long few months.

Ellisandra · 05/04/2020 22:44

Exactly @inflam phrasing: “intensifying a short relationship”. If this was a known 3 weeks, then it would just be a novel shagathon and if you realised on day 12 he was a dick, we’ll - no matter. But it isn’t. This is most likely months not weeks.

Iamtryingtobenicehere · 05/04/2020 22:45

The phrase
“marry in haste, repent at leisure” springs to mind, please don’t rush things. you have a lifetime.

Palavah · 05/04/2020 22:47

You can do this now (all the people saying it's too late are missing the point) but you need to be in it for the duration which could be months rather than weeks. Are you both up for that? Have you talked about how it's going to work?

wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 05/04/2020 22:50

YANBU. I moved in with my boyfriend a week ago and will stay here for the duration of the lockdown.

DarrellMakepeace · 05/04/2020 22:51

Go for it. Be prepared for an initial testing time though while you find your feet with your new living arrangements, and not being able to get space from each other.

Poppi89 · 05/04/2020 23:04

I wouldn't due to how many people are finding their partners really irritating at the moment so it could break a relationship that is still pretty new. Maybe wait a couple more weeks and the guidance might change and then you can decide.