PS4 in bedroom - or not?

[Watchagotcha]

Only slightly CV related...

Obviously we are spending a lot more time all together at home: me, DH and two DSs aged 12 and 9. The boys have a PS4 which they usually play morning (weekends) and early evenings. They are “meeting up” with friends and their cousins online to play - it’s great in that respect.

The problem is that they are so noisy! We live in an apartment with two bedrooms and a big living / family room. Up to this point, we have kept the PS4 in the living room, and it has been ok with the usual school / work routine . But now... we are spending more time in the family room and it is impossible to get away from the noise DS12 makes while playing with friends. He wears headphones/ mic and shouts, squeals, laughs etc all the time. It makes it really hard to sit in the same room as him and read a book or do anything else.

We don’t want to restrict his gaming time - he’s doing well keeping up schoolwork and generally being nice to have around, and he’s catching up with friends / family in a safe way. We have always resisted consoles / tv / computer in the bedroom: he’s going to disappear into teenage life soon, and we don’t want to push him into it. Plus it means we can see / hear what he’s up to online.

I want to move the console into their bedroom and set generous limits on gaming time. DH wants to keep it in the living room and just put up with the noise (he has bought some industrial strength noise cancelling headphones.)

So who is BU?

YABU - DH is right, keep the console in the living room and keep DS close and supervised, and wear headphones while he’s playing.

YANBU - move the console to the bedroom, reclaim the living room for reading / tv watching / music listening.

I’d probably move it until they go back to school and do regular checks on what they’re up to.

Before covid I always said no to putting the ps4 I to DS bedroom however, it's in there now for all the reasons you stated. It's working well so far and he's good at turning it off at bedtime.

Against my better judgement, we’ve let DS 15 have his in his bedroom, it goes back in the family room when school starts again, to get through these times I think you have to do what you’ve got to do to get through. It comes with provisos that he needs to do an hours activity everyday, at the moment he goes for a bike ride and plays football in the garden, all his jobs still need doing as well as learning some other life skills when necessary. Looking forward to the school setting some work after Easter in prep for A levels, we’ve had nothing so far although he has also been revising still on his A level choices.

We’ve put the Xbox in DD‘s room for the duration of the lockdown, on the proviso that she also allows her brother in to play. It’s working really well, they’re getting on better than ever and we don’t have to put up with the repetitive sounds.

We’ve moved the 11yo’s Xbox to his bedroom for now as we need the living areas for office space. I’m normally quite strict on gaming time but this is the main way he gets to keep in touch with his friends so we’ve relaxed it quite a lot. Once he’s back at school and his sports clubs he’ll have a lot less time. At the moment I think this is helping him cope much better than he would otherwise. We keep a close eye on him and he’s not allowed on it after 9pm.

If you want him playing until 4 a.m., go for it.

Whilst dh and I have been working from home the xbox has been pit in to ds12 bedroom. It will come back out when this is over.

My DS has one in his bedroom, also a switch. No problems at all with him playing it late at night

Strange times, means strange measures, yes do it!

@Tableclothing just take the controllers away at a reasonable time....simple!

The Xbox is great for my son playing with his school friends and has been in use a lot in our house but if you move your kids into the bedroom for the moment make sure you remind them of all the online safety principles and pop in and out of their rooms often.

Don't mean to patronise but remind them they should never facetime/use a camera/ send a photo of anything private (undressed etc) and never facetime etc with anyone they don't know in real life. Careful what they disclose to strangers and never arrange to meet anyone. Remind them that people often are not who they say they are. Kids and young people have been tricked and blackmailed/become suicidal.

My son is 10 and no matter what training they have their understanding is poor at that age. My son's school recently issued a warning that a child had been approached on the way home from school and asked to get into a van. (before lockdown obs) the children actually argued they would be fine walking home if they just avoided that street where the incident occurred. That was their level of understanding.

Also your child can easily stray onto watching upsetting things on you tube etc "Corona Virus"... WW2 (the upsetting stuff) and of course porn (on phones/tablets etc - a huge proportion of kids have viewed by 13 years so don't assume yours won't be curious)

Hope I don't offend anyone. Totally understand the predicament at the moment - just don't want anybody's home bubble infiltrated with misery.