Are couples choosing to co-habit or stay apart?

[funnylittlefloozie]

If you're part of a couple that doesnt normally live together, did you choose to move in together for the duration of the lockdown, or are you happy staying apart?

If you chose to move in, do you think you will stay living together afterwards, or has this just reinforced your decision that you worked better living separately?

We're apart and I'm really struggling. I miss the human interaction - I'm not talking sex, but the laughs, the looks, the eye rolls, the physical contact - touch, cuddles, hand holding etc.

Is it making me rethink our relationship? Sure.

Exactly the same as Stronger76, apart and struggling.

We are apart. I invited him to come and stay with us but he declined, which really upset me at the time as I was terrified of being on my own with the children coping with everything happening. We are messaging daily but it's not the same.

However - I am getting quite used to this. I've realised I CAN manage this on my own. It's let me find a great inner strength.

I'm not sure I really want to stay with him anymore...

We are apart. We discussed being together briefly but it wouldn’t really work. We are both still working as key workers and we have children of our own who are still seeing their other parents... who are also key workers!
It just felt like we were creating too much of a mix of exposure.

Logically it make sense but emotionally it’s really, really hard. I can’t explain how much I miss him. But we know we are doing the right thing

To add, it is making us reassess our relationship and things will change after this.
We’ve been together for three and a half years and taken things slowly for the sake of the children and being sure we really are in it for the long haul. He has been slower thinking about that than me tbh but he said that this has made him realise we’ve dithered for too long and we should have moved on in our relationship. He says he’s sorry we’ve wasted time.
I think we’ll come out if it stronger but it’s really hard to keep that in mind when we have no idea how long this will last

We are apart, I live with ds, and dp is with his mum and brother (mum shielded). So this was the safest (although most definitely crap) decision. But needs must right now. It’s only a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things. But I have bipolar, and I’m finding my moods are becoming a little like a rollercoaster right now, and I think the lack of human interaction and conversation has a lot to do with it. It’s bloody hard.

I’m also finding there’s a lot of things said via text that we both take the wrong way or misinterpret as they don’t come across the same way when not being spoken. So we are having a lot of trivial arguments over nothing.

For example he may say ‘when this is over shall we go away for the weekend?’ I reply ‘whatever’ as in whatever, sounds good. But he takes it that’s I’m being sarcastic. So he’ll reply ‘fuck sake I was only making a suggestion’ and so on it goes.

Is it only us experiencing this???

My friend’s dad (mid sixties) is living apart from his lady friend, as in 80 miles away apart. He’s decided to cycle there as his government approved exercise, doing a week there and a week at home, with the logic that neither of them are having contact with anyone else so apparently it’s ‘allowed’ 🤦🏻‍♀️😩😡

We are apart and finding it hard, I really miss him. We are speaking by phone and zoom and video call and texting a lot (we text a lot in normal times too). I live alone and he has a couple of relatives temporarily living with him since before lockdown. He usually lives alone but even if he still was I don't think we would have moved in together - it isn't something we have discussed previously and I wouldn't want to rush to do so.

Also from a practical point of view, I wouldn't be happy leaving my flat unoccupied for an unknown length of time, and my contents insurance isn't valid if the flat is empty for I think more than 60 days. If i did move in with him I would have to arrange to change my insurance. I have no idea what those who have moved in are doing about that (I suspect as a natural worrier I may be the only person worrying about this!)

To be fair ‘whatever’ is a really crap response @Theresnobslikeshowb but I get what you mean about having to be so much clearer in the written form.

We are together. Dp had literally just moved out of his old place and into his mum’s so some of his stuff was at mine anyway until they could find some space and a place for it there so it just made sense for the time being. We had been talking about moving in together anyway but the place I’m in is a bit too small for 2 of us and all of our stuff so we intended to look for a larger place together, now of course all that is on hold but we can manage here for now.

It’s actually been a really lovely side effect from all this drama going on recently. We always felt like we didn’t get to spend enough time together as our days off didn’t match up but we are both furloughed now so it’s been great to see him so much. Feels like our relationship has taken a huge step forward and I can see DP is so much happier not being at his job (he hated working there and had actually already given his notice in). I think some major changes are going to come in the near future, its been the push that both of us have needed in some ways and puts things into perspective.

I don’t have any family and very few friends here (not that I’d be allowed to see them anyway right now!) and without work to go to I would literally just be sat in the house on my own everyday without DP. I am so grateful to have him here.

We're together. I'm widowed with two primary aged DC and we'd been together about 18 months. He normally lives alone and has no DC. As we're both WFH it made sense to form a temporary household. He helps with kids schooling, so I don't have to try and manage that plus full time work alone and we're supporting each other. DP is a headteacher (his school is closed) so his teaching experience is a massive bonus!

Eldest DC (9) is happy he's here at this exceptional time but also clear he will return to his own home once this is over (he's normally here 2/3 nights per week). Youngest DC is delighted he's here.

So overall it's working really well, but we're still in agreement that it's not permanent. It's a good test run through. I'm glad he's here, I'd struggle massively with zero adult interaction and just kids.

We’ve moved in together. I initially it was just for 14 days as my boyfriend had stayed for the weekend when my son developed a cough. His flatmate had CF so if he went home after 14 days he would also need to shield as their flat is too small to socially isolate within it. Luckily the first 14 days went well for my son, as that was the main factor in our decision.

It’s good so far, usually we only really get to see each other once a week when he stays over so it has been really nice to be together more.

We had previously discussed moving in together, but in 6-9 months time, no idea what we will do afterwards, we haven’t thought that far ahead yet.

RedRed9 Sorry that wasn’t a real conversation I was just giving an example!

Lol But it was just an example of a word, another example is ‘fine’. If someone asked how you are and you say ‘fine’, depending on how you say it, your intonation, could mean yes everything is good, I’m really pissed off with you or I’m really worried. You can tell how a person is feeling from the way they say it, but it when it’s written down you can’t.

We went the other way as I'm frontline key worker and he is vulnerable and shielding. It adds another layer of stress and sadness.

We’re apart. We’re not happy about it but it’s necessary. We both have kids and the decision to move in together needs to be made carefully for the good of everyone involved and not as a knee jerk reaction to a crisis situation.

I'm apart from my boyfriend/partner and have struggled. We usually see each other maybe 4 nights a week and I often stay with him. We both work as key workers. We also both have children. He has them