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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset with DH during lockdown

8 replies

Dimosaur · 05/04/2020 09:20

DS 18 months going through a huge sleep Regression and preference to me at the moment.
So tough to deal with by myself, I find myself getting so wound up by his crying, I end up getting cross and just bringing him in our bed, which I'm trying to avoid so failing hugely.

I know it's probably just a phase, but I don't want to instill bad habits.

while I'm trying hard to get through this phase.
DH is constantly making comments.
(DS goes down fine for him at bedtime, still wakes in the night, but with me he wakes as soon as I move him)
Comments like...
Lazy mummy hasn't taken you anywhere today....
And just keeps going on and on that I'm not doing enough physically with him, he does 50% of the time, I join them on my days off mostly (nurse).

I do lots indoors or in the garden with him, painting, playdough, drawing, made a car track with tape, got him a sandpit and slide.

Isn't the whole point of this separation anxiety that he's spending too much time with me, and actually he should be taking him for a walk (as that's all we're allowed to do) without me...

He had started nursery a few weeks prior to the closures, think that would have reslly helped him but as DH isn't working at the moment, Id rather DS stayed home.

DH has been having him Monday to weds 8-6.30... And by Tuesday evening he's absolutely reeling and had enough, goes on like DS is such hard work, he doesn't get a minute to himself, and pretty much as soon as I get in takes himself out in the car for a run.
No point to my post, just ranting really.
Just think he's a bit unfair to label me lazy, and make out I'm a crap mum who never does anything with DS.
I think divorce rates will go up during this lock down!! Lol

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 05/04/2020 09:22

He doesn't sound supportive or like he appreciates you at all. You're in a really stressful job and he's doing nothing to support you. Is this the kind of man you want?

Nanny0gg · 05/04/2020 09:23

Your husband is an arse.

BrooHaHa · 05/04/2020 09:24

Lazy mummy hasn't taken you anywhere today....

Passive-aggressive Daddy can f*ck off. Seriously, you need to have words with him. Tell him how his comments make you feel, put across your point of view and tell him that insulting you, at all but especially in front of your son, is absolutely not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

Dimosaur · 05/04/2020 09:29

Broohaha he gets it from his mum... Mil does the same thing, says things to DS In front of us to get at us.
Ie.. Least you love me, your daddy doesn't love nanna anymore...

I'm so Glad this Lockdown has stopped her coming round!

I've already said to DH when she was doing it it's unacceptable and he agreed.
Now he's doing it himself!!

OP posts:
Daftodil · 05/04/2020 09:30

Why insult you in front of your son?! How undermining and, frankly, damaging. Also, how easy does he think being a nurse is at the best of times let alone during a pandemic of global proportions? I'd be fuming.

BrooHaHa · 05/04/2020 09:35

Broohaha he gets it from his mum... Mil does the same thing, says things to DS In front of us to get at us.

Two wrongs don't make a right, it's no excuse. In fact it's worse because he knows it is wrong and does it anyway, as you have said.

Seriously, have a word. It's not remotely acceptable and I don't think lockdown can be blamed for it tbh. We all have choices, no matter what situation we find ourselves in.

BrandoraPaithwaite · 05/04/2020 09:40

He will have learned that passive aggressive comment making thing from his mum over many years. Could you really calmly point it out, he might be a bit horrified he's picked up and repeated such a horrible habit from her?

Winterwoollies · 05/04/2020 09:50

So he’s not working, you’re working as a nurse and dealing with your son’s sleep disturbances and he calls you lazy for being exhausted?

Yeah, he can fuck right off. In fact, why doesn’t he go and live with his delightful mother.

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