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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a talking too. Why am I bothered?

19 replies

Ginbunny1212 · 05/04/2020 09:02

So my ex and I had been getting in recently. Mostly in text everyday a a few meet ups pre lockdown. We both live alone. Since lockdown we have been texting daily and played a few online games. We did talk about getting back together.

We joked we should do lockdown together, but he was concerned about me working in the nhs each day and coming back home at night. I would be vulnerable to spreading it. Fair dues. He was struggling with not being able to see his daughter as her mum won’t let her go out at all, even to see her dad.

I helped him with a charity idea during the lockdown. He has gone a bit silent and now discovered via Facebook he has moved in with a female friend. Nothing to suggest she is more than that. She has put on Facebook she is in isolation with a good friend as they were both alone. She has kids and he has moved to her house.

Since then very little texts. Did ask him yesterday if he found a lockdown buddy. It was read and not replied. It’s all over Facebook what they are eating and pictures of his cats.

I know I shouldn’t of done, but I had a look through her Facebook page and saw an identical picture of an event the ex went to whilst we were going out saying. He said it was with a male friend, but it looks it was with her. Their friendship does go back a bit, but why lie. I wouldn’t in minded.

Am I right to be annoyed. The move in could be platonic as she is with her kids. Not sure annoyed as by myself or why he stopped texting no’s he is with her.

OP posts:
Ginbunny1212 · 05/04/2020 09:02

Sorry last bit. Why he is with her

OP posts:
Summercamping · 05/04/2020 09:04

You are in denial. He is with her. It's not platonic. Sorry.
Just sack him off. You've dodged a bullet

ElizabethMainwaring · 05/04/2020 09:06

Yes. He is with her. Sorry.

pocketem · 05/04/2020 09:07

he has moved in with a female friend. Nothing to suggest she is more than that.
Hmm

Their friendship does go back a bit, but why lie.
HmmHmm

Why he is with her?

Why do you think??? He's putting his johnson in her vajayjay.

wowfudge · 05/04/2020 09:09

He's been stringing you along. You working in the NHS was the excuse he gave you. He's decided he wants to be with her instead. It's nothing you've done wrong, he's just not been honest. Sounds as though he started seeing her when he was still with you so you've dodged a bullet there as Summercamping states.

TorkTorkBam · 05/04/2020 09:09

You've been silly. This is why you block and delete your ex. Do it now. Stay away from his social media.

SuburbanFraggle · 05/04/2020 09:13

Don't let years of your life be wasted by someone who is stringing you along. Block his number. You don't need to explain. He will just figure you have clued up.

Intelinside57 · 05/04/2020 09:19

He really, really is your ex. You need to be kind to yourself and stop stalking his social media and move on.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/04/2020 09:19

Unfortunately for a lot of people, not just your ex, it will be any port in a storm at the moment. Some casual online flirting and games with the ex will have passed a bit of time between box sets for him. This other woman will probably find he’s not so desperate to live with her long-term after lockdown as well. As a PP said, you dodged a bullet.

Ginbunny1212 · 05/04/2020 09:25

Yeah. It’s annoying. I know he had a few female friends, which doesn’t bother me. Met some and all nice. It’s the lying and avoidance that it annoying. He is not good alone and super anxious about the whole situation. He was talking about finding someone who had isolated for 2 weeks to buddy up with. Just say he is with her.

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 05/04/2020 09:30

This man is getting too much head space from you. The situation doesn't deserve your attention. Totally understandable, but block and drop contact without any further communication. Free yourself up to meet someone better.

RoseLalique · 05/04/2020 09:35

He sounds like a bit of a wuss in many senses. Most of all because he’s too pathetic and cowardly to text you back. I’d find that really off-putting but then I can’t stand woolly people that are too flaky to treat others with the honesty and respect they deserve, even if it does make them a little uncomfortable. You don’t need this in your life.

Hillocrew · 05/04/2020 09:43

He was hedging his bets
Please forget all about him . No one needs a selfish asshole like him in their life

Hillocrew · 05/04/2020 09:45

There is only way forwa4d

Block him on everything
And delete his number

OpenWheelRace · 05/04/2020 09:46

Sorry OP, he's just not that into you. It sucks, I've been there, but dust off and move on. You can do better than someone who just has you as a stand by

JasonPollack · 05/04/2020 09:47

She's not a friend. You were the backup option. Sorry op. Block him.

Otherrooms · 05/04/2020 10:11

Yuck.
I bet he was in contact with a few friends/exes/possible shag buddies- testing the water.
He's found one mug who'll take him in during lockdown and has sacked the others off - you included.
Thank God you didn't fall for it OP.

Oldraver · 05/04/2020 10:14

You were his back up 'isolation buddy' maid

CaptSkippy · 05/04/2020 10:46

He is with her for sex and companionship and doesn't need you anymore. That's harsh, but that's exactly what he's doing.

I would be weary to even stay friends with him.

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