to not be coping during lockdown?

[twinkletits99]

I'm at home with my 17 month old. He's a joy. I love him so much. He's dropped his morning nap and only sleeps for an hour in the day, then sleeps 13 hours at night. Still wakes around 3 times. I've just had a bit of a meltdown. Sobbing so much I couldn't catch my breath (also I am due on my period which is contributing). He's go go go all the time. We have a tiny garden. An hour at the green across the road doesn't really cut it and he screams when I take him home. As soon as we go back in through the front door he gets upset. He was never like this before lockdown. He's lost interested in all of his toys. I don't know if he really notices but being a lone parent with nobody to help I am really struggling. I am a key worker and can't send my son to the childminder because her daughter has asthma, yet I'm not allowed to leave my son with my 50 year old mother so I can work. I am so stressed. I just want to sleep for 2 days. Is anyone else feeling the same?

Shit. There's gonna be an entire generation who will grow up dreading staying indoors for any length of time. Its a form of abuse theyre experiencing.

Abuse 😳

I hear you. I am not a single parent but I lost my job 2 weeks ago and nursery is closed, so I am back to 5 days a week entertaining DS who was 17 months a few days ago. I'm finding making the most of my evenings helps (nice meal, something on TV, early night) but during the day i find he likes to play with soapy water, stacking cups, balls of different sizes. It is so hard though - I was so weepy last week.

It is so difficult OP. I am a lone parent to a 4 year old with endless energy trying to also work. When lockdown started I was so weepy and some days I feel I manage and others I just feel exhausted.

As exhausted as I feel I also ensure I sit up 45min/an hour after my sons bedtime so I have some time to myself for my mental health!

I really wish I had better advice, it really is a difficult situation.

Oh you sound so tired! Honestly I know you love your sons current childminder, but unfortunately at the moment he can't go to her, but you really do need some childcare, you sound on your knees.

Tomorrow during his nap, set some time aside to have a look for providers for key workers in your area - ask on your community Facebook group for recommendations, people will definitely help. bear in mind your son will always have that relationship with his childminder, it doesn't have to end permanently, but she can't help right now and another childminder or nursery sounds like it would provide a change of scenery, stimulation and new friends he's craving at the moment. I'm very happy with our childminder, but honestly there are lots of lovely settings. One nursery in our area which some friends children go to has baby chicks!!

Just think about it - it won't harm your son in any way. And try to get some sleep.

Is your mum willing to provide childcare for you to work? If she is then I'd do that.

If an hour on the green isn’t enough and he’s screaming when you leave then it’s reasonable to stay outside for longer so long as you are keeping your distance - there is no law that says you can only be outside for an hour and it sounds like more time outdoors would be good for your mental health.

@twinkletits99, hope you're feeling better today

Hey, I'm going mad too. Mine's 3.You sound like a great mum. I'm going to use some if the suggestions. Might do the freezing a few toys in a block of ice one.

There is absolutely no reason why your mother can't be your temporary childminder in this situation. She is not in a vulnerable category and you are allowed to leave your child with someone as a keyworker.

There's been a lot of confused messaging around this. You can't just pop round to visit grandparents for fun, and of course those in vulnerable categories shouldn't be used as childcare. But an adult in her 50s, without underlying health conditions, is completely suitable as childcare for your son.

Take your child to your mum if she’s happy. I’m working at home but started to take them over a few times in the week because it is not safe or possible to care for kids all day and work all night. I can’t have meetings with kids in the background and I’ve been asked to do FaceTime Type visits for clients so i would rather the kids were not visible. Equally I can’t take them to the supermarket and I can’t leave them home alone or get an online slot. Something has to give.
The impact of the lockdown is horrific on mental health and coping ability.
Mine are 3yrs and 16 months. The little one is dropping his nap - it’s hell! He just points out the window and says ball frequently - it’s heartbreaking , we have no garden either .
This weekend we have done- cleaning the car, cleaning the house, hanging up washing, we did andys workout on CBeebies, I did some yoga for me with them joining in / being held whilst I’m doing yoga and stopped half way through, we made some packet mix cake, cut up fruit for snack, messy play with coloured rice and saucepans/mixing bowls/cups, checked out online classes- a music one and a ballet one. Made dinner, FaceTimed a friend and had a half conversation like a real meet up! Went for a bike ride with kids in the trailer, had a bath in the middle of the day, reading lots of books, went for a walk, painting, puzzles. It’s hard to keep going though.