Day on day off child going between parents!

[Changedname78]

Long story short, co parent with a narcissist. Been to court multiple times and have a court order in place!! After a big argument, I can’t actually believe I’ve been bullied into this but as I am the worst mum in the world and I believe fathers shouldn’t have a relationship with their kids I’ve ended up agreeing to day on day off contact between each parent! Obviously I know this is absolutely ludicrous and will be an awful way of life for the child!! But after subtle brainswashing the child ended up telling her dad that’s what she wants... When I said fine then!! The reply I got was thank you I am happy about this. Ffs who would be happy with such upheaval to a child

Sorry who’s abusing a child ?

For context the child in question is primary school age

@Aleena1968 haven’t you got anything better to do? ignore them op, they’ve been on loads of threads writing ridiculous comments.

Sorry. You were bullied into it? Who bullied you? Can you change the set up?

@Aleena1968 are you the ex!? Just go away and be nasty somewhere else.

The other parent. I should just stand up for myself as the court order was not even arranged by me, the judges made the decision and its absolutely in the child’s best interest. But after all the abuse and being told that I don’t listen to my infant age child saying it’s fair for their dad if they do day on day off and that’s what they want to do I’ve ended up giving in and agreeing it. Although I have said if they don’t like it we can go back to the court order again. Is this really what is best for a child ?

You should do 3 days on 3 days off. It is stupid to swap more frequently as it is stressful for everyone including the child.

What does your court order say?

Court order currently says we split all time out of school 50/50 all holidays and weekends and an over night in the week.

@LittleLittleLittle it’ll definitely be stressful for me, I’d like to see/speak to them as little as possible but I massively worry about the long term impact on my child

Hmmm, my sisters and I did day on day off as kids. It worked fine. But parents lived a 5 min walk apart, and we’re fairly cordial with each other, so there weren’t too many practical issues with getting to school and having P.E. kit in the right place etc. It didn’t traumatise me or anything, any more than 3 days/3 days would. If you don’t think it’d work for you then that’s another matter.

I’ve done 50/50 care (didn’t last long until I was doing most of it) and we did 3.5 each. Day on, day off I think would be disruptive. Like going into school from one house, going back to another, having right equipment for school etc. Can you try suggesting 3.5 days each?

He has been to court for 50/50 but they decided it would be too distruptive and kept the order the same so I’m not looking to change the order based on what he specifically wants. But felt guilt tripped into this as he said it’s what she wants .. day on day off and she did say that to him, when I asked her she said she did but didn’t think it would happen. But felt like if I don’t let her try it I’d be the worst parent ever

I think that’s a massive upheaval...also how can you do that with this virus thing going on? I’d use that as your argument. So much more risk... she should be staying just with the resident parent ideally right now. :/

Well... we probably shouldn’t! Especially as my other child is asthmatic but that’s a whole different battle I can’t face unfortunately, he’d knock on my door all day every day until he gets her

Prior to lockdown we did mon and weds with one, tues and thurs with the other, and then every other fri-sun. It works well