Taking kids to their dad?

[PuddyMuddles4]

I have twins. Hormonal tweenagers. One is autistic with VCB. Being shut in the house 24/7 is driving us all mad (I know this applies to most of the world as well).

They usually spend weekends with their dad, and I have been taking them to his as normal. The guidelines seem unclear on this - one report says kids can move between separated parents, the other says they can't.

But for my own mental health (any parent of an autistic child would understand), I need the break from DD. And to be clear, I wouldn't take them to their DF if I wasn't sure it was safe. He's pretty much a hermit who avoids human contact at the best of times anyway.

So, AIBU to still let them go to their DF every weekend? What do you think?

Sorry, I forgot to add that I am in a high risk group, so if I catch CV it will possibly be the end of me.

It’s permitted to do this. But is it worth the risk to your health?

Guidelines say that children under 18 are still permitted between parental homes. If you are both taking sensible precautions there is no major issue. Your mental health and your childrens wellbeing is very important and thats why this was said. This could well last until September. If theres no underlying health issues for anyone and no frontline staff then I just don't see how it'd be in anyones interests to be away from one their parents for so long (when regular contact in place)

Seeing parents is allowed. I'm in a similar situation but have decided not to allow my son to see his dad as his dad is a pratt who isnt taking lockdown seriously (still seeing friends and gf) and being in the vulnerable group his selfishness could be a death sentence for me.
If you trust him to follow the rules and stay inside i dont think its a problem though.

Just seen your update. Is your ex staying at home and socially distancing? If so then for your own mental health you may still need your children to go to his. Can he perhaps have them for longer stints? It is unique times which means arrangements need to be modified in many cases.

It is permitted yes, just put a sensible plan in place to minimise risk EG we combine weekly shop with handover to avoid muliple trips out, only the children have contact with the other parent, I stay in the car. They shower and have clothes washed as soon as they arrive in the new home. It isn't perfect but if the benefits outweigh the risk then do it.... with care.

We changed our pattern to do week and week about too, again to avoid multiple trips between homes each week, could you try something along those lines? Would he be willing?

Yanbu.

@Sayitaintsoiwillnotgo - next week we are splitting DDs up, as they are at the point of killing each other. The one will go to her DF for 3 days while I have the other one, and the next week we'll swap.

@DontTouchTheMoustache - trust isn't a word I associate with that prick lol, but he does care about the DDs and wouldn't do anything to put them at risk.

@Matildathehun77 - that's the only time I leave the house - I drop the DC off with him and do the weekly shop on my way home.

DD is seeing her Dad every week. We’ve changed the pattern so that he sees he only once a week but for a longer duration. He is furloughed and I’m working from home so he has her 3.5 work days and I have her the other half. I’m doing his shopping (as I’m also doing my parents, asthmatic sister and a vulnerable neighbour). He is seeing no one but DD. We think it’s as low risk as we can make it. DD really wants to see her Dad.