to be terrified about CAFCASS call?

[twinkletits99]

I've been in court for over a year now. Ex hasn't seen our son for a year. Fact finding hearing has taken place and they found him guilty of all sorts of abuse (racial, to coercive control, to harrassment, to abuse of and harm to our son). I was meant to be meeting with CAFCASS regarding s section 7 report. I am not so much terrified of this, but terrified of the consequences. He's not a fit father. I have a restraining order against him. What if they allow him contact? Even in a contact centre, that usually progresses to supervised then unsupervised. I want him to complete a domestic abuse perpetrator programme before they even consider anything other than indirect contact, but am worried that they will see me as being obstructive. Thankfully the court have ordered no contact so far. All this time at home in isolation is giving me time to think. Can anyone calm my nerves? WIBU to suggest no direct contact continues seeing as that's what the court have stuck to throughout?

Bump

Bumping again

Given that isolation isn't going to ensure he has had a personality transplant I would continue pushing for nc.
Write a factual list for the call.
Bullet any key words.
Do not allow personal feelings to show through.
Good luck op..
You have done a good job of protecting your dc.

@windyatthebeach thank you. I'm amazed at how well it has gone so far and how the courts and CAFCASS have listened to me. Just hoping they don't do a u turn and grant him access. I'm really scared that this might happen.

No, I don't believe UWBU to suggest that the current no direct contact should continue. If the Court has already found he has committed the abuse you list above, and he hasn't successfully completed any perpetrator work, I can't see how it can be in your son's best interest to have any direct contact at this time.

You aren't being obstructive, you're protecting your child. You don't say how old your son is. Indirect contact can take the form of basic information about his father, given by you and that followed by indirect contact. Your solicitor should be able to help you think this through. Best of luck

@lotsofdogshere thank you. I don't have a solicitor and have self represented all the way through to now. That's including a fact finding hearing. It's all gone well so far. He's only 17 months old and his dad hasn't seen him since he was around 3 and a half months old.

This sounds like so much extra stress on top of everything else that is going on. Well done for self representing for so long. It's natural to be nervous but it sounds like they have been on your side so far so a u-turn would be very unexpected. As things currently stand I don't think contact centres will be functioning for quite a long time anyway but hopefully they won't be considering that route.

Thanks @doyoumind - I am really scared about the section 7 report as they tend to go with that. Worried I won't come across well.

I think you can relax. I think they will be focussing efforts on children in danger for now

twinkletits99 - fantastic to hear you've achieved all this self representing. I think it's still the case that despite the devastation to legal aid, you could be represented because of the history of abuse.

I can't imagine any form of direct contact would be appropriate in the circumstances. The best your ex could hope for would be to locate and complete perpetrator work, to engage with a therapist approved by the Court etc. Meanwhile, he could have a brief written summary say every quarter- x can now walk, he enjoys bed time stories and sand play. For example.
There's endless research evidence now about the impact of domestic abuse pre birth and in the early years. Stay strong.

Keeping personal opinions of ex out of your case is important ime...
My exh lost his case after his hatred of me was very obvious!
Maybe he will trip himself up this way also...

@nevertwerknaked there are no changes at my local court. All hearings going ahead via video link.

@lotsofdogshere sadly I'm not entitled to legal aid as I live with my dad therefore they say the money I would spend on rent should to on legal fees 🤦🏽‍♀️ if only.

@windyatthebeach absolutely agree!

I am under the impression that Cafcass operatives believe they are GOD! They seem to able to walk into a case and overturn hard work done by solicitors and Judges at a stoke, ignoring evidence, been seduced by coercive and proficient manipulative liars, to simply clear their case loads at a minimum cost to the system. The latest recommendation from a case I am aware of is for the Father to simply do an eight hour course on open university and a brief course set set by Mumsnet before been allowed access to his child after been proved of child and sex abuse. I am afraid trying to obtain Justice in this country is a frustrating long hard and expensive process and from my viewpoint the system seems to favour the perpetrators.