To cut off all dates?

[h3av3n]

So we don't know how long the lockdown is going to be, I've been dating recently to ultimately find a boyfriend but obviously at the moment I can't meet up with any of the men for the next dates with them. A couple of the men are ones who I've been on several dates with and talk daily to but for me it's about meeting and then seeing if i want to see them again the next time...and then the next time and so on... so obviously that can't happen at the moment so I've been chatting to these men but it feels a bit pointless to me.

So I have so far told 3 of them that I'm cutting them off and two have been shocked and thought it was wrong etc! AIBU to do this...? I don't really want to be chatting to loads of men for possibly months if I'm not actually achieving anything..? Or should I just talk to them now and again and start dating them again after the lockdown? Idk what to do about the rest now... I hadn't thought that this would be a surprising thing at all

It's just it seems easier and to make sense to just start afresh with new men after the lockdown... I didn't realise this would be surprising or even upsetting/annoying to these men (in dating stage with all, nothing serious, not breaking up with anyone lol..)

You come across as a bit shallow.

Now is the perfect time to get to know someone, even if you can’t meet, as many people are stuck indoors for the same situation.

Why would you even tell someone you were officially cutting them off? That’s worse than ghosting IMO. I wouldn’t be shocked or think it’s wrong but I’d certainly put you on blocked for that rude bluntness.

Sorry I don't mean I actually said 'I'm cutting you off' to them, I actually sent the most considerate message I could...

You have no responsibility to these men and are not their entertainment. If you want to pull away at any stage you can.

If you had been dating for a few months then it may be worth keeping communication open, but I can see why you wouldn't want to keep on chatting when you haven't met in person.

If they're not able even to hold your attention when chatting, they will be hugely disappointing when you meet. Ignore the princely protests and whittle down to someone who has something interesting to say, I reckon. It should pay off and save you time!

Wow! How cold and clinical can you get!!!
Yes, fire them off. They deserve better.

@Enough4me

If you had been dating for a few months then it may be worth keeping communication open, but I can see why you wouldn't want to keep on chatting when you haven't met in person.

They have met in person. OP says this. That’s why I don’t understand OPs train of thought. If Op hadn’t have met them before then yes, I’d agree, but Op says they have been on several dates with these men already.

Seems a bit cold. But if you're not interested enough in them to make small talk for a while whilst this is all going on, your clearly not that interested in them. So best to draw a line under it and move on.
However if you do this, don't message them when we get out of lockdown, to resume saying...I can't think that will be well recieved!

the trouble with keep just chatting with one or two but not seeing them is you will build up too much in your head which may all fail when out of lockdown and actually see them in person again.

Though after 3 dates, you should know which of the several men are more of a better prospect or not? if you were not that fussed then yes, i'd call it off now, but if you could see a connection with one, i'd keep chatting. but nothing too heavy.

Then blokes are probably disapointed as they wanted some casual sexting anyway! (you may do too, nout wrong with that if you did)

I should think if you liked one of them enough you'd be wanting to chat to him. If chatting feels like a massive chore I don't think your are really that interested in them tbh.