To not keep popping to the shop for my mum

[TheoriginalLEM]

My mum is 84 has dementia, although us generally manipulative. She genuinely doesn't understand the situation.

She keeps calling upon me to go to the shop for things or I'm having to go to her house to sort stuff out.

My DP says i need to refuse but she doesn't understand.

She has been a cow but now the dementia is worsening.

She has carers x3 a day but she is resistant so they constantly calling on me to go sort stuff.

I know she has enough food and cat food, i have to say no but the guilt

Would I be a cow if I told you not to answer the phone every time?

What would make you feel more guilty? Saying NO to her and restricting shopping to once or twice a week, or going out constantly and knowing that you may take cv19 into her home and could kill her, her carers, their families etc etc

From your previous posts, I understand your mother to be highly manipulative, demanding and downright nasty.

You downplaying this wont help the responses you get on here.

How bad is her dementia? Eg can you get away with agreeing to go shopping 'tomorrow' then just deferring 'tomorrow' until it's the right time?

The needing stuff from the shops thing is just another way to control you.

Tell her you will do one shop a week, and which day it will be on. Then if she calls, tell her you have added it to the list and will get it on the set day. If she says she needs it now, tell her we're in a global pandemic and she will have to wait and make do, like everyone else. Broken record time.

@displaypurposes you are right, however since she has been out of hospital the dementia is more evident but she has been nicer, it's taking her fight from her.

However, i know she has everything she needs, i had to get her tobacco yesterday but i have told her that I will not be going to the shop for a week.

Bonus was that the shop had eggs, little things eh.

it's taking her fight from her

Blimey, that must be a relief!

Just say 'yes' (or 'yes on Tuesday' /whenever) and do what you think is best.

I'm not gonna lie, it is

Say yes, keep a list, get it all in one go. Do not go every day or as often as she wants you to.