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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or did I waste police time?

21 replies

Sendwineplz · 04/04/2020 01:05

Earlier tonight we saw one of our neighbours stand at her doorway shouting away to herself, she has a zimmer frame, is elderly and may have slight disabilities (not sure) anyways a bit later her front doors lying wide open and was for almost 2 hours so I phoned 101 n they drove past, looked at the property and because the door was now closed off they went.

OP posts:
Zippyx · 04/04/2020 01:13

You calling 101 is far better than someone else needing to call 999 if something had happened to her.

Don't doubt yourself - you were a good neighbour!

SoleBizzz · 04/04/2020 01:16

No you didn't waste Police time. Good on you.

CallMeRachel · 04/04/2020 01:24

Yabu if you just called and didn't leave your name address and phone number...

Yanbu if you called and explained fully and left contact details so they could knock or call you find out more information.

It's possible they may have been called away on arrival to something ongoing and higher priority and on seeing she was no longer outside they left it.

Really though, incidents like this being phoned in for police attendance is a bit unnecessary.
The ideal would be neighbours going over and checking on her first by calling to see if she was home and okay before closing her door for her.

RonnieBarkingMad · 04/04/2020 01:28

Why didn’t you peer into her door or shut it if it was open for two hours? I can’t believe that got a visit from a 101 call, not because I don’t think it should have, but just because of all the other things they say they are too busy to see to. You didn’t waste police time but you’re also not absolvable either - why did you leave it two hours with your elderly and disabled neighbour potentially collapsed with her front door wide open before you even thought about doing something, and even that was to make a phone call and not even visit her or shout a “hello, are you okay” through the door if you wanted to keep distance. Her door was open for 2 hours, not 2 minutes, and I’m surprised that you think an elderly persons door being wide open doesn’t warrant you giving them a kindly reminder to shut their door, or help if god forbid they had slipped over and needed help.!

FortunesFave · 04/04/2020 02:12

Did they not go in? Call again. They need to check on her.

AlaskaSometimes · 04/04/2020 04:21

Why didn’t you pop over and yell out to ask if she’s ok?

Balhammom · 04/04/2020 07:49

Just go over and check if she is ok.

If you can’t get a response, consider calling the police, but just checking on her is definitely not a police matter.

inflam · 04/04/2020 08:00

Yes I think you did. Even with the current COVID situation you are allowed to stand by an open door and give your neighbour a shout to see if they are ok.

Original poster
Sendwineplz · 04/04/2020 08:03

Sorry I should have added I am top floor of high rise flats and she's on the street below, technically not my neighbour but she lives in the neighbourhood

OP posts:
Canadianpancake · 04/04/2020 08:06

I would have gone and asked if she needed any help when she was shouting at her door.

Bunnybigears · 04/04/2020 08:08

Sorry I should have added I am top floor of high rise flats and she's on the street below, technically not my neighbour but she lives in the neighbourhood

You could have still gone and checked on her, yes we have rules now but common sense is needed in such situations.

SnuggyBuggy · 04/04/2020 08:10

It was the right thing to do. I personally wouldn't know how to manage the needs of someone having a meltdown and shouting at the door, best to defer to someone who knows what they are doing. It might be worth contacting adult social services, she may already be known to them.

Original poster
Sendwineplz · 04/04/2020 08:17

I'm sure she has home carers that come in so I think I'll give the adult social works a call today and let them know what had happened, I felt terrible for not going down and checking to see if she was alright hence why I'd phoned in the first place.

OP posts:
inflam · 04/04/2020 08:29

I personally wouldn't know how to manage the needs of someone having a meltdown and shouting at the door

A meltdown? Really? Nobody said this?

A woman was shouting at her door, nobody is expecting people to 'manage her needs' simply checking in with a quick 'are you ok in there?' Would have indicated whether further help was needed.

I'm surprised OP could see her let alone hear from the top of a high rise though, people look like ants to me from so far away. Given OP probably doesn't know what the last was shouting it's really unfair to slap a 'meltdown' judgement on her.

hamstersarse · 04/04/2020 08:33

You stood and ignored an elderly person and neighbour shouting on their doorstep?

So many things about this...

  • why wouldn’t you just ask her if she’s ok?
  • the police are still out and about and so logic would tell you much more likely to bring in any infection
  • the police are probably quite busy
  • the door was subsequently closed yet you didn’t call back and tell them
  • you don’t even know the names of the elderly people on your own street
OldUnit · 04/04/2020 08:41

I agree it was the right thing to do, my poor old Grandma had dementia and I once found her out in the driveway at 6am in nothing but a cardigan and a pair of knickers 'waiting for the postman'.
This lady could be very vulnerable and the police certainly won't have minded swinging past on their rounds to cast a quick eye. This is what community policing IS.
In the event they were too busy to attend, they simply wouldn't have. (Policeman in the family)

MunaZaldrizoti · 04/04/2020 08:46

You did the right thing by doing something.

SnuggyBuggy · 04/04/2020 08:58

Shouting at the door isn't normal behaviour. Honestly what would a person be expected to do if she didn't just say "oh I'm fine" even without the need to socially distance? Hmm

inflam · 04/04/2020 09:03

Shouting at the door isn't normal behaviour.

No normal no, but there could have been an explanation.

Honestly what would a person be expected to do if she didn't just say "oh I'm fine" even without the need to socially distance?

Well I am a person and I would probably google to see who to call, depending on what she said. That could be the police, but equally it could be social services or even a family member. Without any interaction I don't know. It would be situation dependent.

Original poster
Sendwineplz · 04/04/2020 09:04

In the mornings she opens her door, stands for a few minutes and then closes it over and heads in, but this was close to 11pm and her door had been open for a good while so yes I was wrong not going and checking but I have still raised alert to the incident

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 04/04/2020 09:08

I think as long as someone was alerted its fine. Seriously you aren't in the wrong OP.

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