Too harsh with mum?

[kim1856]

Hi All,

I think I've upset my Mum by being a little too honest and now I'm worried that I've said too much and hurt her feelings.

Basically, I had my 2nd child a week ago and my Mum has barely messaged about the baby, sent no gifts etc and has instead bombarded me with messages telling me conspiracy theories about Coronavirus.

I received 8 messages in a row telling me how we are not seeing the full truth on the news, how it would all come out in the open soon, how she had predicted everything that has happened so far and would let me know when everything would be better and ok for me to go back out etc & so much more. My parents have always been in to conspiracy theories and that's fine, they can look in to what they want and believe what they want but why try and force this down my throat 7 days after having a baby? They also get annoyed if I don't share the same view.

I finally responded and said there may well be stuff not shown on the news, however I'm really busy looking after my toddler and newborn and that it's not a priority for me to look in to what we are not being told and that if it is all a load of boll*cks that there is nothing I can do about it anyway. She responded with "ok understood" and I haven't heard from her since.

Was I wrong to have snapped and said what I did? I just thought maybe she'd be a bit more interested in my newborn, but clearly not.

YANBU. Strange times, OP. It’s disappointing that your dm has evinced so little interest in your new baby and massive congratulations on that!! I think this situation just exaggerates personality quirks and this is your mum’s. Enjoy your little bundle and accept her weirdness!

Congratulations and you are definitely not being unreasonable, totally agree with Cherrysoup this situation brings out the worst, best and weirdest of everyone. Though I do think it’s a bit strange to not even ask about your baby or you. Anyway stay safe and wishing you happiness for you and baby

Congratulations on your baby. This is a difficult time but I'm sorry your mum is more wrapped up in negativity and what ifs rather than being supportive and happy for you in this time. Back off away from her at the moment. 7 days post partum you just don't need this.

YANBU. You are completely sane and with correct priorities.

They are a bit stupid and self absorbed.

YANBU . I've got a relative like that . Dh told them to put a lid on it as we were dealing with illness . They would just become completely absorbed in it to the point of excluding all other information. It's settled down a bit now and is rarely mentioned. Although I still see it on the Facebook posts so I'm kept up to date. 😣

Honestly? Probably not harsh enough. She sounds batshit.

You were dead right to put a stop to it. You were firm and fair. The only person who was rude was your mother. Anyone with any sense would realise that the only thing you should be concerned about now is snuggling down with your family and getting to know your new baby. If she doesn't want to be a part of it, that's her perogative. But her mad conspiracy theories don't belong in your newborn bubble. Congratulations and enjoy those lovely warm cuddles

She like a WhatsApp nutcase, I saw this on Twitter earlier. What absolute idiots.

I think gifts etc at the moment clearly a no can do, but she definitely could have shown interest in your lovely new baby and how you're all managing rather than bombarding you with all her theories. I have a friend who keeps sending me alarming articles and graphs, literally several each day, and it is getting me down. Enjoy your lovely baby and little family and step back from her for a while (and mo you haven't been too harsh).

browzings that is so funny

broezings the coughing must cover up some noise too

My mum is the same. She is academically super intelligent but wtf she thinks is going on in the world baffles me. It's all one big conspiracy according to her 🤯

I feel like I want to give you my grandad's telephone number to give to your Mum, they'd have hours of amusement! What goes through peoples minds sometime is absolutely baffling. Congrats on the little one

Oh well I'm glad no one thinks I was in the wrong. I've always known they were a bit selfish and bat shit but didn't quite expect this from my own Mum!

I guess maybe my response might make her realise she's been a bit useless.

Personally I would tell her to keep that shit to herself. It's utterly asinine.

I had to tell a corona conspiracy theorist friend to stop messaging me nonsense or I'd block them. I thought I just about had it with them when they said Sandy Hook was a hoax, but this was the nail in the coffin.

I don't think you sounded harsh, you were quite right. Congratulations on your baby.

Congrats on your lovely new baby. I think it depends on what your Mum is usually like? I know you say your parents have always been into conspiracy theories and have always been selfish. But It’s hard to get a full understanding of the situation without knowing more about your Mum’s general behaviour and the relationship you have with her. Acute anxiety over the Coronavirus can be overwhelming and affect people in different ways; she may be allowing her fears to consume her, thus blinding her to the reality of your situation. Anyway, I think it’s good you’ve said what you have because your Mum clearly needs a bit of a wake up call. She needs to realise the impact her behaviour has had on you.

I think it's disappointing and hurtful when your mum isn't excited and interested in her new grandchild. But wtf who has time for conspiracies ???? People are dieing, people are struggling, people are scared. Ffs. You did the right thing but don't be surprised if she stays silent. Send her photos and force her to ask about her grandchildren

Don't feed the stupid. This is something I have to remember every time my DM tells me about a conspiracy theory. The only comment I make is usually an "ok" and then I change the subject. Anything more from me and DM is vociferously defending her outrageous claims.

Congratulations on your new baby.

Personally, I admire your restraint. Let them stew in their own doom, you have enough to do.