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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to have done any school work yet?

46 replies

Wolfie11 · 03/04/2020 22:02

DS(8) was still in child care for the first week of lockdown. I’m a key worker and had to get things in place to work from home. As of this week, he has been at home with me.

He came home with a homework pack but it’s basically just a massive list of educational websites. There’s a system set up for teachers to put up tasks/work for their classes but not much has gone up for his class. We never really get any proper time at home. Between being at the childminders after school, sports clubs, staying with his dad half the week and visiting family at weekends we are generally running around like blue arsed flies. This week and until the holidays are over I decided that he can pretty much do whatever he wants. He’s played with toys he has never even had the chance to open properly before, spent hours drawing and reading, played on his Nintendo and his tablet and played with the cats. When I’m finished working we’re watching movies, playing board games, getting out for fresh air and eating ice cream!

Any family who call to speak to him (dad, aunties, gran) are not happy when they ask how his school work is going and he says that he’s not doing any. You’d think I had just written off his entire future by giving him a few weeks off Hmm. I had planned on getting into a bit of a routine after the Easter holidays. PE with Joe Wicks first thing, some maths and English from a workbook we have at home, some reading (which he does constantly anyway) and he can choose one of the educational websites to have a nosy at each day.

Is it really so bad to let him just be a kid for a little bit, especially with the chaos we are currently surrounded by? AIBU to think like that?

OP posts:
rottiemum88 · 03/04/2020 22:04

Not sure what the answer is as mine is practically still a baby, but I'd do exactly the same OP

Galleyfm · 03/04/2020 22:06

You are doing better than most (balanced and sensible). I think as long as kids know they are loved, are engaged by others and challenged they learn. Stay safe and god bless. X

LoisLittsLover · 03/04/2020 22:06

Personally I think it would be tricky to set up a routine after this has become your new normal, which is why I started as I mean to go on with a little work each day. Also, because they are missing so much time in class, I figure that the extra couple of hours per day over the Easter holidays will go towards making up for this. We still have fun times but in a semi structured way that is saving my sanity to be honest, and I can see that dd has made progress

sufferingsandra · 03/04/2020 22:09

I might be going against the grain but I’d get him doing something for an hour a day at least.

I think they get out of the way of having any discipline very quickly and I’d rather my child doesn’t lose that. I’m not talking about hours of enforced education but something small at least

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 03/04/2020 22:09

He’s played with toys he has never even had the chance to open properly before, spent hours drawing and reading, played on his Nintendo and his tablet and played with the cats. When I’m finished working we’re watching movies, playing board games, getting out for fresh air and eating ice cream

Sounds perfect.

Uptheshard · 03/04/2020 22:10

Hi I'm.the same. 9 and 10 year old....bit of work in.the morning... then playing in the garden or a walk. Bit of reading in the afternoon.... alot more chatting than on a usual day... I feel like they arent missing out but... I cant keep.them engaged 6 hours a day in lessons...its impossible!
Sounds like your approach will keep them relaxed and safe... which is the aim in these tricky times. . .

bookishtartlet · 03/04/2020 22:11

You are completely doing the right thing. I'm a secondary teacher and this is what my head has recommended for our pupils. We have got them all set up online, they have project based work they can do, but basically we are just keeping in touch, especially for more vulnerable kids. My son is due to start primary in August, and we have done no formal learning, but he has really enjoyed wee projects in the house, lazy pyjama days, gardening. We walk every day now during my lunch break. He's enjoying just being 4 and not on a timetable.

sufferingsandra · 03/04/2020 22:15

My son is due to start primary in August, and we have done no formal learning, but he has really enjoyed wee projects in the house, lazy pyjama days, gardening. We walk every day now during my lunch break. He's enjoying just being 4 and not on a timetable.

If he’s still at nursery then I wouldn’t expect him to have much formal learning to do anyway. The pace of primary one (which my son started last August) has been break neck to be honest. If I didn’t do anything with him between now and August then he wouldn’t just stagnate, he would go backwards at that age. I don’t know that you can compare nursery to school.

WifflyWaffle · 03/04/2020 22:17

Sounds great to me. Some private schools broke up earlier this week so those children have been doing the same all week too. Don’t feel bad. I’m a teacher and think that children need far more downtime to do other things than academic study. Let them climb trees, play with pets, colour in, do origami and bake cakes!

Toothsil · 03/04/2020 22:24

We did some work every day last week but have failed miserably towards the end of this week. We've done SOME but DD is absolutely shattered and highly emotional this week, she's anxious and stressed about the whole coronavirus situation and she's also been absolutely exhausted so I decided it was better just to give her the holidays a couple of days early.

Macncheeseballs · 03/04/2020 23:03

God no. The schools Google classroom etc has been a godsend for me, giving my kids routine and something to do every day but we've been self isolating so nothing else to do

EmeraldShamrock · 03/04/2020 23:44

We are late starting too, DD is terrible for homework she has SEN it wasn't worth the fight, now she is in the swing we will continue over the Easter holidays, she doesn't have much concept of timing age 11, we well carch up.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 03/04/2020 23:48

Sounds great OP and I think so many kids will benefit from a similar approach. Learning does not just happen in 'lessons'. In fact I'd say more learns outside of them when I child is enjoying what they're doing.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 03/04/2020 23:49

*a child learns more !

Boom45 · 03/04/2020 23:56

My DH and I are both key workers working from home with 2 kids (5 and 7). We're both stupid busy and the children have not done a jot of work. I dont have time to sit down with them to help them with school work and they're quite happy. There's not a lot else we can do and I'm sure it wont do them any harm.

Cherrysoup · 03/04/2020 23:57

You’re visiting family?!

Pentium85 · 04/04/2020 00:01

Primary teacher here...well done OP!

You're doing something I normally have to beg parents to do- let kids be kids.

Let them play. Interact with them. Let them explore and just go to bed happy.

Good job.

Rosebel · 04/04/2020 00:19

My daughter's are older so a lot more work. They had work set for today but didn't do it in the end because they were both tired and really worried about their grandparents. So I let it go and will start again on Monday.
I don't see anything wrong with them having a day off, especially as these are not normal times. It might be an idea to warn your son that you will expect him to do some work after Easter though

ADreamOfGood · 04/04/2020 00:23

@Cherrysoup when she said "call" I think she meant by telephone not call at the house!

myself2020 · 04/04/2020 07:34

I put YABU - not that you should do massive amounts, but its much easier to establish habits from the start than break the habit of doing nothing in a few weeks. we do some 15 minutes chunks every day (primary school) that we can extend later on. kids like routines, and home teaching will be even harder to adapt to if it comes directly out of a period of no work at all

MahMahMahMahCorona · 04/04/2020 07:41

We've been baking, doing laundry, gardening, chores, food stock takes, art, planting seeds, reading, listening to audiobooks, watching Disney films, playing board games - learning isn't all about sitting down at a table and doing sums - they've been measuring out ingredients, learning through "play" per se. They are 10 and 8. Now it's the Easter holidays. We will still ensure some sort of routine (they have workbooks from school and they quite enjoy doing a couple of pages a day, and a maths website to log on to if they fancy), but this time isn't about keeping up with their education - it's about maintaining a sense of normalcy appropriate for our household, whilst the world around us changes exponentially. It's about keeping them healthy - mentally and physically. And keeping myself sane. You're doing just fine - enjoy this time. You're not stuck at home - you're keeping your DC safe at home.

redcarbluecar · 04/04/2020 07:42

Go easy on yourself OP; this all sounds fine. I can imagine that one of the hardest things about the whole ‘homeschooling’ thing is the pressure of other people’s opinions.
You’re only talking about a week (I think) and he’s 8. Your plan for after Easter sounds realistic and you have 2 weeks to mentally prepare. Deep breaths and look after yourself !

zigaziga · 04/04/2020 07:47

It’s the Easter holidays anyway but this is a once in a lifetimes opportunity to let your child just play and play and play. I think they’ll get a lot more out of that than doing the worksheets.

Fairybatman · 04/04/2020 07:52

I think YABU to not do anything at all. If I believed that t would be three weeks I’d probably treat it like an extended holiday, but if it goes until September that’s too long to not do any structured learning. 6 months is enough time to go backwards rather than just stagnate.

Routine and familiarity help to make children feel safe, and it’s easier to establish a routine at the start of something than part way through.

Crackerofdoom · 04/04/2020 08:07

YANBU at all.

Learning isn't just about formal education. Kids are learning all the time. Your child learned to walk, talk and play from watching and learning.

Give him the chance to develop his non-academic skills by getting him to help you with jobs around the house.

For some families, sticking with a formal-style education works best but it is by no means the only good way to spend this time.

Having the opportunity to spend this amount of time with a parent is something very few 8 year olds get and he won't get it again. Don't ruin it for the both of you by worrying about being his teacher.