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AIBU?

for wanting to buy dd (2.8) a dummy as she has taken to wandering round sucking a broken doll's one?

12 replies

BibbleBob · 12/09/2007 10:22

it makes her far less obsessed with my nipples

but dh says it would be 'pandering to a fad'

she had a dummy to the age of 4 months but she has just taken to this broken thing and I think if she is sucking something constantly it should at least be orthodontically whatever

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bobsmum · 12/09/2007 10:25

Slippery slope IMo - My dd 2.3 does this too, but she's very much into pretending to be a baby atm. I just tell her that dummies are for babies and to give it back to the doll.

Dd seems to like the idea of being a princess/fairy etc so I can also use the "Don't be silly, princesses don't have dummies" thing too which works

If she's doing ti all the time then maybe tell her no and say she might hurt her teeth or something like that?

All the best

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BibbleBob · 12/09/2007 10:43

hmm it may be a slippery slope

but it is also nice to cuddle her without her reaching down my top

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LilyLoo · 12/09/2007 10:46

i don't think giving her a dummy now would help tbh. I am sure it will be just a passing phase. Does she take the dolls one out with her ?
I would go along the lines of 'ooh your a big girl now, big girls don't have dummys' and maybe give it the baby ?

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bobsmum · 12/09/2007 10:52

Bibble - are you wanting to stop b/f?

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BibbleBob · 12/09/2007 10:53

yes Bobsmum I think I am

but it is Too Hard

she cries and cuddles and pulls

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bobsmum · 12/09/2007 11:02

that's a difficult one. Can you swap it for something even more exciting that she has to choose. So "Amazing exciting treat/pressie/story or boring b/f with grumpy mummy not mkaing eye contact - you choose"

If the doll's dummy is broken anyway I would just chuck it and show her you're doing it - it's broken so it goes in the bin - end of.

Could you then go on and say your boobs have stopped working too because she's such a big girl? And then introduce whatever the big treat is for being a big girl - maybe even a baby with a cup of milk - you know that disappearing trick kind of cup thing

If she reaches down your top I tihnk you just have to use a firm (not shouty) voice and say something like 'oh no, that's all finished now. It was really nice having mummy milk, but now we're going to go and do X" and whisk her off to something else.

But there will be tears and protests I'm sure. you might have to actually carry her away to another room. But if she's distracted enough, I bet she'll forget about it really quickly. Just don't let her see you get bothered about it - put on a really happy, bouncy TV presentery voice

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bobsmum · 12/09/2007 11:03

WEll done for b/f this far btw - think of her amzing immune system!

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LilyLoo · 12/09/2007 11:06

oh Bibble it must be really hard but agree with bobsmum there. I think substituting for a dummy will just give you another set of problems further down the line. I just taken dd's off her she 2.8 also and it was very hard we had some real sobbing nights.

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BibbleBob · 12/09/2007 12:21

oh I don't know if I am brave enough

will try

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bozza · 12/09/2007 12:24

Does she actually suck the dummy? My DD, at that age, took to picking up one of her friend's dummys and wandering around their house with it in her mouth, but she had it clamped between her teeth. It was all for effect, because her friend had soemthing she didn't. But now her friend has been forced to give up the dummy due to dental problems.

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bobsmum · 12/09/2007 12:29

Dd stopped feeding just before she turned 2. I thought ot was going to be days and weeks of trauma, but it wasn't. I was actually quite disappointed - I wanted her to miss me, but she didn't, she got a story with daddy instead and went to bed happily.

There were occasional attempts for mummy milk, but I said it was all finished and did she want milk in a big girl's cup with a biscuit. Organix do lovely animal biscuits that are so small, she can choose 4 or 5 and thinks all her Christmases have come at once

you're the mum, be firm and help her understand this is a good thing to move on, not something to miss.

All the best - pick a day and just go for it - get your dh in on it too, ready to distract with something else.

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fishiapankhurst · 12/09/2007 12:31

ds (2.5) has picked up childminder's son's dummy. he knows he can't use it at home, but often does there. equally he doesn't get bf there so i'm not thrilled about dummy use, but since it is only occasional i am not wildly bothered either.

my sympathies re rummaging in top, it is really annoying. i have started setting immovable rules for bf, only at certain times and in certain places. if i sit on the sofa i am pretty much fair game, although stops me from lying around too much.

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