Shopping list, what is essential?

[PumpkinP]

DD is on the extremely vulnerable list and has to stay in for 12 weeks. I’m a lone parent so can’t go to the shops as I can’t leave her. I registered on the government website and a volunteer group called me and said they could get someone to do some shopping for us (up to 12 items) I ran the list by my sister just to make sure it was ok as he is calling back later today and she was shocked that I had chicken breast on there and said that it’s not essential and I should take it off! I looked at the Morrison’s food boxes in the past and noticed they contain a large selection of meat (mince, chicken breast, ham, sausages) when I explained that it wasn’t free and I would be paying for it (not sure why she thought it was free!) she seemed less shocked but still said it’s not essential and that I should take it off. Now it’s made me worried about doing the volunteer shop as I don’t want to be judged for my shopping or them thinking I’m buying things that aren’t essential. WIU to include it?

Surely 12 items isn’t enough! How long will that have to last you?

DM is doing this for people and it's up to 25 items, 12 seems low. She's had people ask for chocolate etc, she doesn't mind it's one thing in an otherwise essential shop and vulnerable people don't have to live on meagre joyless things while others are piling trollies high with Easter eggs! Chicken is a basic food item. Interesting your sister isn't helping you, just judging....

A week I think, I have 4 children so it won’t last long but not many other options right now.

Is she vegan? That’s the only reasonable explanation for thinking it’s not essential.

Do you have a butchers shop local to you? The ones close to me are doing home deliveries so you could get your meat from there?

She said chicken is a luxury, she said the same about the porridge and jam I had added for dds breakfast. She said to only include basic stuff like rice/ pasta/ toilet roll

I don’t eat rice or pasta (or toilet rolls ) so in my case, what would your sister suggest? That I starve?

Definitely YANBU to have chicken on the list

No she isn’t vegan. Can see why you would think that though!

Porridge and chicken are basic!

It's fine. I would suggest seeing if a local butchers will deliver, ours has partnered with the greengrocers and the whole foods shop to deliver to those shielding

Unless the request is chicken breast from 1 specific farm, chicken must have been of x age and killed and portioned during full moon while orchestra plays instrumental version of Prodigy's Omen, she is being ridiculous.

Chicken is a perfectly sensible basic.
Ideally you would have a mix of protein and carbs, with some fresh or frozen fruit and veg. So you get a bit of everything.
12 seems a very small volume for you.

No point in wasting one of your 12 items requesting pasta, as you'll go without.

What's the point of requesting pasta and rice without anything to go with it anyway? Does she expect you to live off plain pasta for a week?

Your sister is weird

This

She said to only include basic stuff like rice/ pasta/ toilet roll.

Tell her to go bollocks.
WTF?!
I swear some people would only be happy if we all sat eating bread (no butter, don't be so fancy) and tap water.
Where do you draw the line with essential? What's essential to some won't be essential to others.

She said to only include basic stuff like rice/ pasta/ toilet roll

That isn't going to be a very balanced diet.

Your sister is weird. Chicken is a good source of protein. 12 items won’t last long though. If you keep on and on looking at delivery slots for places, maybe you will get some. They do just pop up. I’m getting them for older relatives and have registered with any supermarket taking on new customers.

Ask her if she could give you all her food that doesn't consist of what she feels is "essential"....tell her you couldn't bear to have her living with the guilt of having "luxuries" in her house so you'll help her by eating them for her.

Gosh, you have 4 children and are only allowed 12 items? There’s 5 of us and I’d really struggle to make 12 items last 1wk when you consider that’s 3 meals a day for you all. Do the organisers know you have 4 children? I’m involved in this type of volunteer scheme. We say 25 items but we extended that to 30 items for a family of 6 with 8mth old twins as once they’d put nappies and baby milk on it was difficult to get enough food for 1wk. They emailed our organiser and asked. She put a post on our WhatsApp group asking what we thought and everyone agreed it was reasonable. So maybe ask if you could possibly stretch it to 20 items as you have 4 children. Just to also say, we’ve been buying lots of biscuits and chocolate for families and the elderly. We’ve all got to get through with our mind in tact.

I don’t eat rice or pasta (or toilet rolls grin) so in my case, what would your sister suggest? That I starve?

I think so; along with me.

Having said that, have either of us actually TRIED toilet rolls? We shouldn't judge without giving them a whirl

What is essential? Whatever you decide is essential for your circumstances.

From a post a few days ago from a volunteer, I think it will be more useful to the volunteer to try to pick items that can be bought easily (and/or give alternatives if they can't be found easily, so the volunteer does not feel the need to put themselves at risk going to a number of shops) rather than how essential the items are.

If the Supermarket have it on the shelf you are allowed to buy it.

Simple.

If the Supermarket have it on their website as in stock you are allowed to buy it

Very simple

I agree your sister is weird OP.

I’m wondering why you are limited to 12 items though, that would last less than a day in our house! If the volunteer is braving the shops anyways you’d think that they could get a few more things. Maybe it’s because they are doing shops for other people

Your sister is a dick.
Essential to me whatever is essential to your house hold.
Not everyone needs the same things. It's what you need to feed your household.

I thought 12 was really low but the government site doesn’t ask how many people you live with so maybe the stuff is only intended for the extremely vulnerable person I didn’t mention other children as he said they are really busy so can only offer 12 item so didn’t want to seem cheeky. I’ve seen so many people slated for non essential stuff so it’s made me a bit paranoid!

Having said that, have either of us actually TRIED toilet rolls?

They're too precious to eat!

Your sister is nuts, ignore her.

If you can only get 12 items you need to get the best value as in the biggest pack of chicken breasts the shop has, a large bag of potatoes, multi packs of canned beans, biggest milk, cheese, carton of 15 eggs etc, biggest available packs of the things you use, but unless you have a good storecupboard, it's not going to last long is it? There's only two of us and we use about 3 dozen eggs a week and loads of bread and milk.

You'd only be judged by your helper if your list was something like

Heinz Beans, if you can't get Heinz in shop one, you need to go to another shop until you find them
Sainsburys brand chicken
Tesco brand bread so you need to go there too
A big bottle of gin for me because I need it

etc

o

Do you have anyone else who can help you (maybe your sister would like to bring round a ration of gruel for you and each of your DC?) or are any of your DC old enough to pick up things from a local shop? If they're allowed out (not sure if the whole household has to isolate?)

Now it’s made me worried about doing the volunteer shop as I don’t want to be judged for my shopping or them thinking I’m buying things that aren’t essential

Don't worry. chicken is a perfectly normal grocery item, it's not caviar FFS. If they think it's not a reasonable shopping item, that's up to them. They are wrong. Ignore them too.