To think people from up north / Wales are much friendlier than southerners

[Snorkers]

Was born in South Wales, currently live in southern England, husband from Manchester.
Whenever we go up north to visit his fam I'm always shocked by how much friendlier in general everyone is.
I haven't been back to Wales for 30 years but recall when i did everyone always looking out for each other and generally being genuinely friendly and interested in each others' wellbeing.
I like where I live now but I am considering a permanent relocation back to Wales in a few years as more people than not here in Southern England are either just unfriendly and a large minority are moody, aggressive and selfish.
AIBU?
What are your experiences?
Before anyone shoots me down for annoying folks I tend to keep myself to myself so am not getting up in people's shit, it's a genuine observation!

And that's also a massive generalisation @sandragreen

I've lived in both. London is much more genuinely rather than superficially friendly IME, maybe it's because I'm brown

I grew up in South Wales as a minority ethnic. It's very insular. Friendly on a level but incredibly cliquey . Some of the experiences I had of racism growing are unbelievable and I've never experienced anything close in London or south East. But at a superficial level the Welsh are more friendly- chat in the streets, say hi at bus stops, smile a lot. You can't do that in London you wouldn't get anywhere. Also the London sense of humour is more aggressive and people get to the point quicker/ beat around the bush less than in Wales so initially that can be perceived as unfriendliness/rude. But it's not- it's just a way of speaking. Inclusivity and diversity wise- London is way friendlier. Depends on whether you are looking at it superficially or on a deeper, more meaningful level.

And that is not to bash Wales. I still visit a lot - have family living there. It's a lovely place but not without its issues. I think you have rose tinted glasses OP- I imagine you grew up with white non-foreign parents. Nothing wrong with that but it will mean you had a different experience than others growing up in Wales.

The Welsh are the least friendly of all - I will never forget a childhood holiday to Wales when we went into a little pub for lunch off the beaten track and they were all talking about us, pointing and laughing! It sounds funny now but I was ten and mortified (and honestly we were a very normal family - we just happened not to be from this remote Welsh village that we were passing through).

So you've decided an entire nation is unfriendly on the basis of one experience?

I know what you mean OP, but surely it's just a different way of behaving that's ultimately superficial? I am from London, and I don't smile much at people in the street, but I do care about and love my friends and family as much as anyone in Wales or Manchester does. We're all just human.

I grew up in Yorkshire Dame and had a very diverse group of friends growing up (it was Sheffield, mind, it is known as just about the friendliest city in the world).

And you are right Blakes, people from S Yorks are very funny and I always thought Leeds had an air of menace to it!

Grew up in the south east, moved to North Wales aged 16 hated it so much, but once I settled in started to enjoy it. Now it is a lovely place to raise children, beaches, woods, lakes, but as a teenager if you are not involved in sports it must be boring. DS went to Leeds uni. his girlfriend is from Halifax, he thinks the people there are lovely.

I am sure there is racism here because we are not a cosmopolitan society but my children went to school with many nationalities so are not racist. I vainly hope it is the older ones who are racist. The young ones certainly aren`t.

I think in smaller places where people are not living and working cheek by jowl it is better for your outlook on life.

"it depends whether you like talking to people you don't know, doesn't it? "

Well, no, it doesn't. That doesn't stop OP's claim being true.
I don't like talking to strangers either. I'm Welsh and have moved to Cardiff where you don't get much of the talking to strangers thing. When you do get it, it's often from people from outside the city.
But definitely, in general, people in Wales, both north and south and what I know of north west England are friendlier than in the south of England.
I might as well go whole hog and insult a lot more people by saying that ime Liverpool people are much friendlier than Manchester as well.

I'm a southerner who's lived up north now for nearly 20 years and in my experience there is no difference in the relative friendliness of the regions I've lived in.

I do think people from non big cities are friendlier. I live in Cardiff and have noticed even in eg Bridgend, Caerphilly, which are not far away, people are friendlier.

recently moved to newcastle from london and its definitely not a stereotype. I've talked to more people in a month than I think I did in a year in london.
even just the amount of people that not only say hi as they pass you in the street but actually comment and engage properly in some way. feels great after being in london for so long.

I'm a Northerner who lives in London and I disagree.

A) it depends on the person.

B) There's a reason why people in London seem rude. Up North, if a stranger talks to me I'll talk back because it's normal. In London if a stranger does it they're likely to be trying to rob me, begging for something, trying to hit on me or absolutely insane.

The last bloke who tried said that there were ants under his skin and started peeling his own skin off with his nails.

Too much crazy in London to be friendly to strangers.

To people they know Londoners are as lovely as everywhere else.

"There are certain areas/cultures where it's more normal to speak to strangers. But that isn't the same as being friendly."

It is though, more or less, at least in the way OP means here. Friendly doesn't have to mean more virtuous. Obviously there are good people and bad people everywhere across the globe, but the way people interact with each other varies.

I live in an island and have only had bad experiences with one neighbour and don't really know the others.
I have a place in London and everyone is so friendly! Missed an Amazon delivery and Oddbins shop next door took in the rather big parcel and were completely happy to hold on to it for a month. The estate agents across the street helped me out with another issue. People in general are as friendly to you as you are to them.

"I do think people from non big cities are friendlier. I live in Cardiff and have noticed even in eg Bridgend, Caerphilly, which are not far away, people are friendlier."

I live in Cardiff and it's definitely true, although I also think that valleys people are on the extreme end of chattiness so it's more than just being friendlier than Cardiff. I was in Tongwynlais once, it's almost close enough to Cardiff to be a suburb and passers by were coming up to me in the bus stop asking if I wanted help. People are hard as nails in some parts of Cardiff.

Small town "friendly" often means "all up in your fucking business in the good times and distant judgments and cold shoulders in the bad". It's one of those languages you need to speak from birth to really understand.

"Close knit" communities rely heavily on social control. You break the often archaic social rules (in ways that most on here would consider totally unimportant or even perfectly normal) and you can find yourself mobbed or shunned.

"we went for our first holiday in years for a week in a little ex mining village. The friendliness absolutely overwhelmed me"

Where was this? They're friendly in the ex mining areas, but I wouldn't have thought of them as very touristic areas.

Gwenhwyfar hilarious, glad it's not just me! Genuinely every time I go to McArthur Glenn, or a softplay in Caerphilly, I make a friend. And it's never me who initiates the conversation!

I totally agree.

Actually, I'll just tell you the out-and-out truth - all Us Southerners got together as a large homogeneous group and decided to greet Non Southerners with crossbows and axes if they dared to darken our collective doorstep.

If they get past that they might even have a Tsk directed at them. That would teach them a lesson- coming Down Here and trying to make us all friendly-like.

I am sure you get lovely friendly people in Wales, London and "the North". But none of them are as lovely and friendly as Scottish people. Fact.

*I have had acts of kindness - both astonishing and everyday - living in London and the SE but what is noteworthy is that people have done those things without wanting for expecting to be thanked profusely. Nod, shrug, often scuttle away half way through your thank you if they’re in a hurry.

I lived in a ‘friendlier’ (chattier) place in another part of the world, and my experience is that while friendly, interactions and kindnesses tend to be less genuine and more for the purposes of social interaction, and expectation of reciprocity, than in the ‘colder’ places.*

I agree with this. I have had chats on the Tube with strangers or asked directions. I’ve had people offer their seats when I was heavily pregnant or help with my pram when getting on and off public transport. In my experience, it depends on what kind of area. I’ve found people to be friendlier to me in more metropolitan area than in smaller villages.

In London if a stranger does it they're likely to be trying to rob me, begging for something, trying to hit on me or absolutely insane.

Last time I made the mistake of saying hello back to a man on the tube, he grabbed my phone off me and insisted that since I had smiled and encouraged him I had to give him my number (this was inbetween talking to himself). Then blocked my exit when I tried to escape.

That said, I once lost my bag in London and had to ask strangers to use their phone to call my boyfriend to come meet me to help me home. 3 strangers happily lent me their phones. I did the same in Paris years ago and had the same positive experience of genuine friendliness - a group of young teenagers even stayed with me for an hour to make sure I found my way to the hotel.

However, last Christmas, at 8 months pregnant, I lost my bag and was wandering around Cardiff for hours trying to find my husband and child. Exhausted and with no phone or cash I asked countless locals for help- no one helped - they all looked at me like I was about to mug them (while heavily pregnant). I had to sit on the floor of the cold carpark until my husband eventually gave up looking for me after all the shops had closed (he had reported me missing to the police). So much for Welsh friendliness- I was actually distraught but it has made me appreciate London so much more as most Londoners don't automatically see my race and assume I have bad intentions.

Yes I lose my bag a lot- I have ADHD.

But none of them are as lovely and friendly as Scottish people. Fact.

The Romans would like to interject.

YourHairyHands I always think Sheffield is a little rough but Leeds is hard. As a city it's become obsessed with money and the Devil take the hindmost. If I had to pick I would definitely pick Sheffield as a place to live.
North Yorkshire is smug and East Yorkshire is...a complete unknown to me! They may well have tentacles there, I really have no idea.

No, I think that southerners tend to be more friendly than northerners. I think northerners are perhaps more willing to initiate contact with strangers, but that shouldn't be mistaken for friendliness. Also, northerners tend to be fine around people who are the same as them, but are less willing to tolerate those who are different than southerners are.