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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

CF or just protecting her business?

97 replies

Feckinlego · 03/04/2020 14:05

So dd goes to a dance class. That's obviously not been happening for the last few weeks. Term fees are due next week and the owner has requested that we continue to pay. She is doing an online class which my dd has no interest in. I understand she wants to keep her business going but I cant help thinking its cheeky to expect us to pay for a service we are not using. Aibu?

OP posts:

ilovecakeandwine · 03/04/2020 14:48

I can see both sides , my gym gave the option to freeze payments , pay 50% and get online classes or full payment. Some people I know opted for full payment because they could afford to do so and wanted to support the business. I opted for 50% because I'm furloughed and still doing the online classes. If your dc isn't interested in the online classes there should be a option to freeze for however long . I don't think it's cf as it's a business but she must know that a lot if people aren't on full pay at the moment.

Kazzyhoward · 03/04/2020 14:49

OP - has your income fallen or are you still being paid or getting the 80% furlough? If you're still being paid, then you should continue paying. However, if you're struggling due to reduced hours or whatever then it's a different story.

I've had clients asking what financial support they can get despite not actually suffering any drop in income - now they're CF-ers of the highest order!

GinasGirl · 03/04/2020 14:54

I'm paying for my Zumba and pt sessions and also for my boys music lessons and scouts.
We're having all these lessons via zoom and it's been great.
A pp mentioned a bit of normality and I can say that it's been brilliant for us. Is there a reason she's not interested in doing it online? Has she tried it yet?

banjaxxed · 03/04/2020 14:56

I think it's how it's asked

DS does a sports class and the teacher asked that if we were still being paid, would we all consider continuing the monthly payment.

He has posted online content and said that when it comes to exams etc there will be a discount.
Seems fair

I would take a dim view of someone who demanded payment and said 'well I am providing online content'

I have paid the scout membership at full too even though they only asked for half. It's not a lot, it's a charity and the extra few pounds might help someone else. If we weren't being paid it would be different

WeAllHaveWings · 03/04/2020 15:03

It's not her fault you aren't making use of the service she is providing.

That doesn't make sense as she is not providing the service now.

OP, if your dd enjoys the class, she wants to keep going once this is over and you can afford it then pay. Otherwise give notice as per your T&C and pull her out, but don't return.

I am still paying my window cleaner, dog walker and ds's small independent gym even though we aren't using them. dh is self employed so we will lose a lot of money, but I want these services to still be there for us when we come out of this and can afford to keep paying for probably 3 months because things get tight.

tara66 · 03/04/2020 15:05

But aren't self employed people going to get 80% of their wages average for 4? years paid them by govt? I suppose if they carry on working they don't get this?

AiryFairyMum · 03/04/2020 15:10

We have the same situation and I am annoyed, particularly as they were very reluctant to close, and we took DD out for the last couple of sessions because we felt it wasn't worth the risk. Lessons are expensive and it's her main treat of the week. She got the classes with birthday money. I now have zero income, and my clients wont keep paying, so I can't see why we should keep paying as a donation to the teacher.

SoupDragon · 03/04/2020 15:10

If your DD doesn't want to participate, you need to withdraw her as you would normally. The classes are being offered, your DD just doesn't want to do them.

DD's dance classes went online for the last two weeks and she's enjoyed doing them. Tap was less fun for everyone else!

Kazzyhoward · 03/04/2020 15:11

But aren't self employed people going to get 80% of their wages

On historic "profits" not recent income, so if they've only started recently or have overheads they can't cut, the support scheme may not actually help them that much.

Astrabees · 03/04/2020 15:14

I really want all the nice things i m life back at the end of all this, so I'm paying some money to my riding school to help keep the horses shod, fed and for vets bills until the owners have an income again. My gym is run by the local authority, so we are all getting on line classes and our payments suspended.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 03/04/2020 15:17

the "government" paying people only mean WE, the tax payer, are.

So really, if businesses are trying to survive and offer alternatives to avoid claiming and closing down, it's a good thing!

The dance teacher is offering classes. If you don't want them, you can remove your child and find another place when things reopen. What else do you want the dance teacher to do? Come in front of your house and teach from the sidewalk to your kid dancing in the front room? Will you be happy to pay for private lessons then?

ginnybag · 03/04/2020 15:18

In our school's case, its not the owner that's the concern - she would be covered by the self-employed thing.

A lot of her teachers (and, I suspect, a lot of dance teachers nationally), however, are not going to be able to get help from anywhere because of their age. They freelance around their other commitments, jobs and degree courses.

They're not employees, so no payroll, so no cover there, and they're so young that they haven't got the returns and history they need to claim under the self-employed rules. One of them, as an example, is a student nurse. The teaching pays her rent whilst she's at uni. She's been asked to continue her placements (which are unpaid) to help in the hospital here (big city) but without the income, she can't pay rent/buy food.

CuppaZa · 03/04/2020 15:20

YABU.
There is a whole load of shit going on in the world right now. We are all in this together. ALL OF US are going to be marked by this, in some way or another. Now’s not the time for looking out for number one. Pay the fees.

damnthatanxiety · 03/04/2020 15:25

Is she self employed? Then isn't she entitled to claim 80% of her average? But she would have to stop working to do so

mummumumumumumumumumum · 03/04/2020 15:29

My kids dance school has had to close and they are doing on line classes. One enjoys the on line class the other not so much. As i see it it is more important for me to keep the school going so we have somewhere to return to when this is over. Its not the teachers fault that your child doesnt like the on line class, the teacher is doing all she can with the situation she finds herself in. Our teacher is going above and beyond, doing bedtime stories and all sorts.

inflam · 03/04/2020 15:29

Is she self employed? Then isn't she entitled to claim 80% of her average

I don’t think that’s any of OP’s business. If the dance teacher wants to keep working that’s her choice. If OP doesn’t want her daughter to be part of it, then that’s her choice.

Isithometimeyet0987 · 03/04/2020 15:32

Yabu. I run a Performing Arts school and all our classes are still running only they are being done online, we are running all dance, drama, singing and instrument lessons. We have a lot of people wanting to sign kids up at the moment as other classes have been cancelled and are not being ran online, but we are not taking any more students than what would be in a normal class incase they all turn up when we open up the studio again so if your in my studio and you don't pay there are a lot of people looking for your DDs class space. Also if your dd takes exams and does competitions or shows not doing the online classes could end up leaving her behind the rest of the class. Some of our teachers are Uni students or not long started as freelance teachers so wouldn’t get much if any help if they couldn’t teach.

T1redmum1 · 03/04/2020 15:32

I’m still paying for my daughter’s gymnastics lessons. The club has been closed for a month and, given it is for vulnerable people with special needs, is likely be closed for at least another 2 months. My view is that I want her to be able to go again once this is over. The club is a small local business that still has to pay rent, salaries etc. so if I don’t pay them, they won’t survive this crisis. If you can afford to pay, then I think you should.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 03/04/2020 15:40

If you don't want her to do it then withdraw her place. Dance schools usually have a long waiting list though so good luck getting a place back once this is all over. How old is your DD? My 13 year wasn't keen on video calling her music lesson as she doesn't like video chat. I told her to try it twice and if she didn't like it we would talk about it then, she loves it though as it's some sort of normality and structure in a time when their world is all upside down

SuperlativeScrubs · 03/04/2020 15:41

@Wannakisstheteacher Because Dance classes aren't childcare...

SuperlativeScrubs · 03/04/2020 15:43

Apologies, I misread your comment!

MashedPotatoBrainz · 03/04/2020 15:44

My son is continuing with his dance classes. He teacher is doing them online and he loves it. Not as much as his regular classes for sure. But it's wonderful that he can continue like this, given the circumstances. Why not encourage your daughter to take part rather than labelling her teacher a cheeky fucker.

dancinfeet · 03/04/2020 15:51

Can I just say after reading the comments on the thread so far, from a dance teacher - thank you mumsnetters for your overall support of continuing payments to clubs and classes that are closed or that have moved to online tuition at the moment, if you are financially able to do so. It means the world to those businesses, especially if they aren't entitled to government grants or 80% of self employment wages (some people do it as a second job and are therefore entitled to nothing, like my friend who now has to manage on her part time employed wage as it was her higher income, but only by a marginal amount). She is offering paid for online tuition, I am offering free tuition but only because my circumstances are different to hers.

OP - how much do you and your child value their dance classes? Online tuition will never replace face to face dance classes, but it's the best the teacher can provide right now. If you have had a drop in income then communicate this to the dance teacher, if you haven't, then I suppose as others have said, it all comes down to how much you value the (normal) service. If you want to withdraw from classes, then do so, but please find your child a new dance school when they are ready to resume classes, that's if they can be bothered to take it up again (to be fair, you haven't mentioned your child's age so if they are under 6 I can understand if they are a bit flaky with it).

Watchagotcha · 03/04/2020 15:51

We are still paying DS monthly fees to his parkour gym. They are fairly new, and just invested in lots of new equipment. We want DS still to be able to go when this is over - so for now we will keeping paying even though we are getting "nothing" for it.

GreytExpectations · 03/04/2020 16:01

You are the CF here op. I'm guessing your negative attitude is why your DD doesn't want to do the online classes

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