To ask if you've ever had a quarter life crisis?

[RunWithARum]

Because I think I am!

Did anyone experience this? I feel like my life is going absolutely no where. I still have no idea what I actually want to do in terms of a career I just know it's not what I'm doing now.

I feel like a complete waste of air to be honest. I'm married but we are struggling with fertility issues so I may end up with no kids, a job I hate but have no idea what else I'd like to do, never having done anything really beneficial or exciting in life. Just sort of existed.

If someone asked me what was the most exciting/important/proudest thing I'd ever done I'd have nothing to say, literally nothing. I can't think of anything.

I want to go back to study something new and change my career but I just have no idea what! I feel so much pressure to sort myself out now before I get any older (26), it's driving me bonkers and frankly it's stopping me from enjoying any other aspects of life, I feel like I have no purpose at all.

I did. I was twenty five and it was many years ago and I just felt stuck in an enormous rut and generally disappointed. Absolutely not suggesting this to you but I went and worked abroad for a few years. Had a great time. Haven't had a midlife crisis so perhaps I got it all out of my system then?
Once the current awful situation is over could you explore other avenues of work? Could you fit voluntary work into your current routine? This might awake a passion in you. Could you move to a four day week at work to give you time to explore other things? How about finding a life coach and talking things through with them? Or a distance learning course? I'd really rate the Open University for that.

Or a distance learning course? I'd really rate the Open University for that

Thanks for replying. There's some suggestions there thank you.

In respect of the above, I really do want to do this but I just have no idea what to study. If I were going to choose anything it would be science based (biology) but I'm too worried that I'm not bright enough so just talk myself out of it.

My husband suggests studying further in the career I already do (paralegal, so a law degree or CILEx qualification) but I just don't enjoy it so I can't see it getting anymore interesting the more I work at it and I doubt I'd be able to stick at it if I'm not really invested.

Yes. Had a really shit time after uni, got stuck living with my parents for several years despite working which I resented. Couldn't make new friends in the area no matter what I tried and didn't want anything to do with the people I went to school with. I know others will feel differently but living in the same place as I did as a teenager just made me feel I'd failed at life.

I worked most of the time but I've now concluded that I don't want to climb the ladder where I am because the stress level seems to shoot up while the pay only creeps up and is pretty crap given my bosses are always being signed off with stress. No thanks.

I got married at 26 to my long distance boyfriend and luckily had the opportunity to move somewhere different. We made friends and eventually started a family which got me out of the rut.

Fuck knows what I want to do longer term. My working life has just felt like a waste of time as it didn't provide me with choices or independence. Maybe I'll go back and study but not sure what.

Quick reply as I need to settle to some work now... You could dip your toe in the water with biology by doing a Future Learn course. They are free and it would give you a chance to guage your level of interest. OU used to do foundation courses which are also designed to build confidence. Not sure if they do those now but maybe worth a look. I did my master's and a psychology post grad diploma with the OU and found them incredibly supportive so I'm a bit biased 😉

Thanks, at least I'm not alone in feeling this way!

When you're young (as in a child) it feels like you have all the time in the world to decide what to do when you 'grow up'. I feel like I just missed the day when my passion was sparked and I'm still sat here wondering what I want to do except I am grown up now and so I feel like I have no time if I actually do what to change anything.

I did really want to do a radiography degree at one point but I just talk myself out of things because I worry I won't be any good at them/not smart enough etc...

I feel like I'm safe with Law because I've been doing it since I left education and I know what I'm doing so yeah I feel like I could do a CILEx course if I wanted, but I don't want it. I hate going to work every day, it just doesn't interest me.

Thank you SewingBea I will take a look.

The one thing I have accepted about myself is that I don't enjoy work. In my case I don't think there is a passion or a right career that will have me leaping out of bed on a Monday morning. The best I can hope for is a job that I can cope with, doesn't impact my lifestyle too much or make me ill. Chasing different things hoping one will be my passion would be a huge waste of time.

I feel this is what's missed with careers advice, that it's OK for work not to be your great passion but just a necessary part of life.

I'd say that the work itself doesn't have to be your passion - all jobs are dull at least some of the time. Sometimes it's about finding a cause you are passionate about where you can make a difference. Does your job (or something with a similar skillset) exist in a sector that you really care about (charity, healthcare etc)?

Thats not to say don't retrain, that's definitely a valid choice, but sometimes it's who you are helping that creates a passion for work, not how.

Yes, I took a year out to work and travel before uni so graduated at 22, moved back home worked in an industry I didn't love but paid well. Just before my 25th birthday I got made redundant and split from my long term boyfriend (met at uni), my old boss heard I was looking for work and offered me a job so I was single working the same job I had at 18 and was sleeping in my childhood bedroom it was utterly depressing. However in the year before I turned 26, I'd moved into a career that I loved and was actually relevant to my degree, started dating now DH and bought my first flat! A lot can change quickly you just need to focus on what you want first

I've had one. Was working in the legal sector in an area I wasn't that interested in. I was so uninterested in my work and had a sort of low level ongoing depression about how much of my life was spent doing stuff I don't care about. I started doing a uni course in an area I cared about and made a switch to working in the same field, not as a lawyer. I have to say that I'm not really enjoying it as I had hoped. The reality is that even if you care about your work at a high level so much of the day to day stuff is just boring, feels pointless and/or difficult (and not in a fun way). I was at a stage in my legal career where I was pretty experienced so it's a big change.

I think @SnuggyBuggy is totally right about accepting that there may not be a job that you are crazy passionate about. That's certainly how I feel. That said I think it's good to try out other things if you really are burning to do them, otherwise you'll regret not trying in the future when it's more difficult with kids etc. Especially at 26! And you may find that you do have a burning passion for radiography or whatever it is.

For me, I'm going to give this job a year to get used to it and better at it. If I'm still not enjoying it I am going to go back to law - the money is better so I could work 4 days a week and use the extra time off to do my hobbies (which I do get a lot of joy from).

Thanks all.

Thats not to say don't retrain, that's definitely a valid choice, but sometimes it's who you are helping that creates a passion for work, not how

This is very true. I do sometimes wonder if I'd enjoy work more if I got into another area of law. I do conveyancing which (to me) is just the dullest. I've often thought if I transferred to family law, criminal, personal injury etc.. I'd maybe find it a lot more motivating as I'd feel I was actually doing something that meant something.

I know 26 isn't old. But when I look at re training and going to university etc... I worry. Lots of courses are 6 years to do part time which I'd have to as I couldn't afford not to work as well so that's taking me to 32 if I did it right now. I worry that if I leave it longer I'll be too old by the time I finished any degree to actually make use of it and build up decent career afterwards.

I hate the pressure feeling of everything having to be now now now.

But then we're also trying for a baby which is not going to plan. I think I'm trying to fill a hole. I often think, if I can't have a child then I at least want a job that means something.

I get what you mean about trying for a baby not going to plan. It took a while for me to conceive and I just remember thinking if I don't have kids but I don't have a good career then what do I have?

I hope you figure out some good next steps either way.

I'm 31 and have just started in my dream career. I was in a totally other field since I left high school and didn't know what I wanted to do until I was 24. I spent the next 6 years studying part time at uni whilst working full time at my unrelated job. It's never too late to change direction. I am no good at science or maths, and my degree was science based. It was hard work and many times I thought I was too dumb to complete it. But, I kept my eye on the end goal and I graduated in December. You just need to find what sparks your interest or passion, which is the hard part. But don't ever think it's too late or you won't be smart enough to do it.