How to get baby to take to cot?

[Chuckle99]

Hi posting here for traffic, sorry I know it's annoying.

DS is 12 weeks and has never taken to his cot. He's had Moses baskets, travel cot and now his cot bed as we always worried that was the issues so changed it- clearly not. He will not sleep anywhere but on us, and even then, he doesn't sleep for longer than 20 minutes. He is fed, burped, swaddled and we hold him until he's asleep and then put him in his cot. He goes down fine but wakes within the next 20 mins.

He is a sufferer of reflux but his cot is tilted, he's on anti reflux milk and also on medication. He's fine through the day and wakes even if he is upright in his sling.

I really don't know what to do. We've tried what feels like every trick in the book and he just doesn't sleep. I appreciate it could just be him as a person but he's constantly exhausted as he just fights sleep.

It takes around 40 mins to get him to sleep and then after all that effort he's awake again. I'm worrying myself that he's getting to the age where he's learning sleep habits and we're teaching him to be rocked to sleep.

I don't agree with letting him cry it out as he is still only young but also old enough to sleep independently in his cot. That probably made no sense but I'm a tired woman on the edge haha.

Anyone had the same issues and known how to solve it? How can I help him pass into deep sleep rather than 20 min power naps? Help me please

Sleepyhead! Absolute life saver!

Sleepyheads aren't recommended because of their link to SIDS.

You're putting way too much pressure on yourself (and on him!) He's a very young baby, he'll get there, just give him time bless him

Does he sleep in his pram? After discovering by chance that our anti-crib DD would sleep through the night in that, we ended up putting her in the carry cot bit every night (in our bedroom) for many months. I think that started around the age that you DS is now.

We used to put a Tshirt one of us had been wearing all day and a hot water bottle in the cot under the cover, wait until she was really asleep (where you can pick the arm up and it just drops down ) and then whip the hot water bottle out and slip her in on top of the tshirt. Sort of tricked her she was being held still. She was small though, so for a good while she was still in the moses basket which we put in the cot.
Not sure swaddling is a good idea, they need to be able to move about.

My younger never did. He liked sleeping on me and still does (he’s 2).

At 12 weeks I was still in survival mode so we just did whatever it took. He slept in his rocker mostly - it could go flat- and then moved to a travel cot and no cosleeps.

I have no answers - just empathy and understanding.

He has reflux. That’s your answer. Unless that’s treated properly (especially if there’s a milk intolerance or allergy involved or if it’s actually tongue tie), then you won’t get far until he’s older.

My ds had silent reflux. Slept upright on us and then I cracked and set up his cot so it was flush with our bed and he could sleep next to me.

Days - he never slept in the cot until he was about 1 and we had a nanny so had to crack it. The rest of the time it was on us, or in the pushchair sitting inclined (which was fine from about 4 months as he was sitting. He never slept flat in a pram).

By about 6 months he slept in a cot at night. Which probably seems ages away but it’s not really. We worked on bedtime first then from there.

The corner turned once he started sleeping on his front. He was much happier then.

When you get the reflux sorted I use to put a hot water bottle with warm water in a case, it helped DD drop off.
Reflux is awful DS slept upright on me for months.

A Sleepyhead was what worked for us. Instantly

White noise.

Download the baby sleep app. It's free, my baby doesn't sleep well without it.

Good luck OP.

Remember, it won't last forever

Is he tall? If so he might be waking himself up when he touches the sides. A proper full sized cot might be better

Co-sleep.
If funds allow buy the biggest bed you can.
Pinterest has ideas of putting singles next to king size ones
Me, hubby, ds (3yrs) and ds (1yr) all love our extra cuddles and I’m so lazy that it means i never get out of bed to deal with wake ups.