Support and advice needed on caring for partner who is seriously ill (not Covid related)

[iwantavuvezela]

I could really do with some advice from others who have supported someone through a serious illness. My DP was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago - it’s serious and he’s receiving treatment for it. (I’m incredibly grateful that this is ongoing for him) The lockdown unfortunately means that we cannot access the usual support from friends - I am feeling quite alone and vulnerable as I try to support our children with home learning, my partner who is extremely fatigued from treatment and dealing with his diagnosis and the illness, working from home myself with little or no outlet for my own emotions. Although there are friends who can help with restrictions on travel for the foreseeable future I need to strengthen myself to do this alone. I also need to isolate myself and our family so that we minimise the risk of Covid. I am having chats via zoom, WhatsApp etc - so am not without virtual support.
I am feeling flattened emotionally, the house needs cleaning and I can’t face it - I am trying my best to give the children some time with me but could do better.

Any advice, or coping strategies that worked for you would be so appreciated- I definitely need some help - I keep been told by friends to look after myself - at the moment I am cooking healthy food to make sure we eating well, doing bits of housework when I can and trying to do some exercise - but limited with what I can do.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. My Nana had cancer and passed away 2 weeks ago. I did a lot of caring for her and it's bloody hard! Even harder at the moment due to restrictions.

With your own emotions -have you got contact with Macmillan? They can offer a telephone support service which is useful when you just want to talk/cry at someone. No need to worry about crying on the phone-they are very used to it and won't mind at all.

Although your friends can't come around, can they offer any assistance with things like shopping? They can leave it on the doorstep.

If cooking meals is difficult at the moment, don't be afraid to have simpler dishes/use ready made things to make it easier.

Do your work know about your husband's diagnosis? If not, can you tell them and explain all you are coping with? Any half decent manager will make allowances for you.

Take care, don't try to do too much.

Thank you PumkinPie and I’m sorry about your nana - condolences to your family.
That’s a good idea to phone McMillan, I did meet with them once and they were lovely, we were offered counselling together but now it’s via the phone and a bit difficult to do without DC’s perhaps over hearing - I’m not sure I can open up about my fears in front of my DH as well, I’m keeping those fears and thoughts to myself for now.

but I could go in the garden and call McMillan

I did mention to my line manager earlier this year what I was facing - but as we have lost one salary I need to keep my job - but I could, when needed take some time off - I have time off over Easter - I feel emotionally steamrolled over, and lack of air and usual activity has made me feel quite lethargic.