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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell my wedding dress for charity?

29 replies

LadyHalesBroach · 01/04/2020 22:56

Posting for traffic.

My July wedding has been cancelled and we can’t afford to do a corona-postpona because the venue etc charge a substantial moving fee. We’ve already sunk so much money into it, we can’t afford to pay more.

We have decided instead to just go to the local registry office when we can, and do some beers and burgers at the pub down the road instead. Post-covid and all that.

So I have a brand new, unaltered Charlie Brear wedding dress. I’ll wear a nice dress for our new wedding, but it isn’t really a big wedding dress kind of affair anymore. It cost me £1695.

I was thinking of selling it in a charity auction (how? Ebay?) for Refuge.

Is that a well intentioned but quite tactless idea?

AIBU - no you’re not Mother Theresa and stop acting like it
YABU - go forth and sell dress

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyHalesBroach · 01/04/2020 23:00

Sorry that should obviously say Yabu - dont, yanbu - go for it!

OP posts:
trulyconfuseddotcom · 01/04/2020 23:01

I love this idea. I would prob donate proceeds to a women's aid charity - would seem strangely apt.

Ilovejammies90 · 01/04/2020 23:01

Go forth and sell dress....but you may not get as much as you want for it!
Lovely lovely idea

I wore mine once...obv...cost 1.1k 7years ago...put it on a website for 300£ only got one offer...40£!! Haha

But please do try! Set yourself a lower limit

Xx

Boogiewoogietoo · 01/04/2020 23:03

Surely the venue has to refund or offer alternative date if the law prevents you holding an event there on the booked day?

I’d check the legality before selling the dress (but it’s a lovely idea).

Reluctantbettlynch · 01/04/2020 23:03

Have you spoken to the venue? If they can't hold the wedding then they should help you change date? They will lose out in not helping you as they will take money on the day etc. Also if you're skint, sell it and make a donation to charity and keep the rest.

TARSCOUT · 01/04/2020 23:03

Perhaps contact Refuge, it might be something they would have ideas about. Could you not get it altered though, seems a.shame to not use it?

Original poster
LadyHalesBroach · 01/04/2020 23:08

Thanks @TARSCOUT I’ll ask Refuge what they’d suggest.

@Reluctantbettlynch and @Boogiewoogietoo unfortunately I think at this stage the cancellation counts as a disinclination on our part because the lockdown might be lifted by July (haha yeah right...) so it isn’t technically cancelled. If we continue, we owe the venue our final payment. They have offered to move to October but with a 25% fee, or next year with a 50% fee. Apparantly it’s all in our contract.

So we’re just cutting our losses so we don’t have to pay any further balances with venue or other costs, beyond what we’ve already paid (about £12,000).

OP posts:
aspiringnurse · 01/04/2020 23:11

I don't know if you would be interested but I am sure there is a charity that takes wedding dresses to be made into tiny gowns for newborn babies that have sadly passed?
Or if there is someone in need of a dress if they have no money?
Or (which is what I did) I saved mine and got it completely altered to use as a christening dress for my baby xx

I'm unsure of any names/websites as it was a little while ago but I'm sure a good internet search or ring round of hospitals etc could point you in the right direction?

Henrysmycat · 01/04/2020 23:12

Wait for July. Why so much hurry to cancel. It’s only 1st of April.

LouiseTrees · 01/04/2020 23:13

I would tell the venue you’ve decided you are cutting your losses and not making the final payment, they might change their tune if they realise they are not getting the money which they probably need now.

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 01/04/2020 23:15

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/how-citizens-advice-works/citizens-advice-consumer-work/the-consumer-rights-act-2015/

Not related to the dress but more the wedding suppliers

Dixiechickonhols · 01/04/2020 23:16

If you love the dress wear it. Seems silly to spend money on a new dress if you’ve already lost a lot of money.

lifeisgoodmostofthetime · 01/04/2020 23:29

Wear the dress then donate or sell it. Doesn't matter if it's at the registry office. Anything goes as long as you feel beautiful in it

covetingthepreciousthings · 01/04/2020 23:32

If you love the dress wear it. Seems silly to spend money on a new dress if you’ve already lost a lot of money.

I agree with this.

ErrolTheDragon · 01/04/2020 23:41

I'm assuming it's not a beer and burgers at the pub sort of idea.

Sure, good idea OP. It's quite normal to donate wedding dresses (after one wearing) to charity shops so why not. I can't see how auctioning the dress for charity could be seen as tactless.

KC225 · 01/04/2020 23:46

Another one thinking if you have found a dress you love then wear it - you can donate it afterwards

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/04/2020 23:48

Wear the dress. Then donate it.

Have you checked your contract?

Rose789 · 01/04/2020 23:55

Have you spoken to your wedding insurance company? They should be able to help

Bowerbird5 · 02/04/2020 00:01

Before you do this please, please contact Martin Lewis he was talking about weddings in his programme last week. Don’t you have insurance?
Could ask everyone to bring a plate of food and hire a village hall and have your wedding. I am so sorry that all your dreams have been dropped. At the end of the day though getting married is the main thing. I wouldn’t rush to donate it. If you still feel the same next year you could do it.

I think Cancer Research have a Wedding shop and a Wedding Fair where they sell dresses but wait a while first as you maybe feeling sad and you may feel differently later.

Ellmau · 02/04/2020 00:42

People do actually often wear proper wedding dresses at register office weddings and I don't see why you shouldn't at the pub either.

TellMeItsNotTrue · 02/04/2020 11:45

I'm sorry you aren't getting the day you planned, but hopefully this will mean you still have a long and happy life together and can throw a party once this is all over

You are unlikely to get anything near what it costs unfortunately

Have you considered donating to a charity that puts on weddings ASAP for people who are terminally ill? You could make a terminally ill bride feel like a princess, or a terminally ill groom happy that his bride is still getting a dream dress despite it being rushed for him.

Best searching for one in your local area, we've donated bridesmaids dresses and suits in the past.

Stickybeaksid · 02/04/2020 12:24

You might be shocked at how little you get for it

koshkatt · 02/04/2020 12:26

Wear it for goodness sake! Then sell it if you want to.

AlexaCrowe · 02/04/2020 12:36

I vote wear it then sell it. Just because you’re getting married in a smaller venue and with beer and burgers (which to be honest sounds like a great wedding!) doesn’t mean you can’t wear a full on wedding gown that you love! Go for it!

Lozz22 · 02/04/2020 12:40

How about having it made into gowns for sleeping angels instead? Mine went in the tip after my marriage broke up but after losing 4 Babies to my new partner I really wish I'd done something like that instead