No one to talk to or talk to those who don't understand - which is worse?

[TheLibrarianStoleMyBanana]

Ok quick poll as this is something I have been wondering recently having few people to talk to about what is going on in my life and those that I have talked to showing a depth of misunderstanding that is making it harder to talk about.

Which do you think is worse and I guess why if you like?

I think I've come to the conclusion that it is harder to have talks with people that don't understand because not only are you dealing with whatever is going on that you need to talk about but also that you are having to readjust how you fit that situation into someones head so they can understand why it's upsetting/difficult to you.

It might be easier to judge which is worse if you give a little more info about what it is you’re talking about. Everyone’s life is different, even those who are seemingly in a similar situation, so I don’t think you can definitely assume that one person will be more empathetic than another.

No sorry its any situation that anyone may find difficult - would you find it worse to have no one to talk to about it or would it be worse to only have people that don't understand to talk to.

Sorry my situation is not really relevant to the question as such IYSWIM?

YABU - no one to talk to is worse
YANBU - talking to those that don't understand is worse

So not so much looking for advice on my situation or the people I have talked to, more a musing on which situation would make things harder for everyone?

I'm sorry if I'm not being very clear with what I mean.

Is it that they don't 'understand' as in don't understand how difficult things are/can't emphasize with you, or they don't have the level of understanding you want as in cant grasp the subject?

Definitely better to talk to someone who understands. Isn't this why people come on Mumsnet, or any social network? To find "their tribe", people who understand and don't need whatever it is explaining to them. There are so many people on here, or on the wider internet, that you should never feel that there is no one to talk to or that no one will ever understand.

I find time and time again that I come on Mumsnet and find people who understand my worries, problems, etc and who have been in my position. Often I don't even have to post, just read other people's threads for ideas and advice.

Or you could try me. I'm listening

The not having anyone would be harder l think, as even if it's that they don't understand, are they at least supportive?

Either I guess Titiana, so someone who just doesn't see a problem at all when you do or someone who thinks it's less of a problem where you see it as quite a large issue.

I think I am thinking from a position of having something happen that just happens to you personally and had no real life effect on anyone else.

Xiaoxiong, thank you I'm ok honest! It just got me thinking about which situation would be worse.

I agree with you about the joys of mumsnet for finding someone who gets where you are coming from!

I find it worse and more frustrating and depressing talking to someone who either doesn't understand or doesn't really listen/take in what your saying. I would rather not have anyone to talk to.

Can they support if they don't understand Titiana?

I find it harder to talk to people who don't understand. Definiately. It's also hard to be in the position where you have no one to talk to because nobody understands, as it feels very lonely. But preferable than having to deal with people's indifference, or even worse, ignorant comments. That can be soul destroying.

I agree with you. I detest feeling misunderstood. For me it’s one of the hardest things about being widowed young.

Oh Tunnocks, I'm so sorry for your loss I can't even begin to imagine!