AIBU to find SIL rude?!

[Lolaesque]

So DH and his sister have an odd relationship. They argue when they're together. It's not very often they're together as we live in different parts of the country.

Recently we had SIL to stay, along with her DD, who is 8. It was a visit too far in my opinion and I don't want them to stay in my home again. SIL has been on the phone saying that all being well, she's looking to come and visit for 2 weeks in the summer (if we're out of lock down). DH has agreed without discussing it with me.

I find her unbearable, especially when she's had a few to drink. Her DD is also incredibly precocious and when she didn't get her own way, went around slamming doors and screaming and shouting.

SIL decided to take it upon herself to tell me that it was obvious that I didn't know how to please her brother in the bedroom and he was extremely frustrated. At the time I was taken aback at the time and didn't know what to say.

One evening SIL and DH fall out all over something incredibly minor. She turned on DH and started screaming at him. This went on for over 10 minutes. I have a DC who was asleep at the time and I didn't appreciate this kind of behaviour in MY home. I excused myself and went to bed.

The next day DH received an apology, but I never received anything in the way of a sorry from her.

She's going through a bit of a tough time at the moment. I have tried to reach out to her, but all of my messages have gone unanswered. I've not asked again.

AIBU to refuse to let this woman back in my home? DH has said it's obvious I really dislike his sister, but he can't understand why! I have told him what was said, but he thinks I am being unreasonable. The last visit was hellish and I just don't want them back.

Who the hell comments on anyone's sex life without being expressly asked to, let alone their brother's. That is just so weird.

I wouldn't agree to her visiting again either OP.

Thanks everyone - always good to have a MN perspective / reality check.

WTAF about the sex life?! Have you spoken to your hubby to ask him if he has said anything to his sis about your sex life?! I have spoken to my DB about my sex life before so it’s not that strange to me but I know lots of folks would WTF at this and I get it, but I want to know where tf she gets that from?!

This is as much on your DH as it is on her. He needs to establish appropriate boundaries now that they are Adults and he is married. But it sounds as though he won't.

From that would come a bit more respect towards you and your house.

Think about the argument, could he have backed away from it? You're putting all of the blame onto her.

Eight years old can be a really difficult age. But again it's about respect for other people's homes.

However they both see it as his home, so it's a green light. He should have stepped in and told them that it wasn't acceptable with your child present.

You need a proper discussion with him about all of that and your sex life.

She sounds awful.
Definitely wouldn't have her staying again.
Done contact her again.

Your husband sounds creepy and dim.

Protect yourself OP.....you sound like a guest in your own home.

You certainly done sound as if you have any control of your home and your husband and his sister, neither consider you, nor respect you.

Protect yourself

Most people (I think) don't even want to think of their siblings sex lives at all, so for her to comment on yours is really weird and creepy. Also considering the siblings aren't together very often, it's very strange how intense and childlike their relationship is. Tell your DH all the arguing, door slamming etc is getting you down and is not good for your kids to have to listen to, so if he wants to see his sister he can fuck off to hers.