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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Doctor's receptionists - are they picked for their distinct lack of social skills/empathy?

79 replies

SummersMahoosiveClipOnFringe · 01/04/2020 13:31

Bit of an offload needed.

My mum has a blood cancer which is on the government list for most vulnerable. She is not in remission but is monitored and likely to need another chemo.

She has had no letter from NHS re being in the shielded group. Government advice is that you contact GP if you think you are in this category and haven't heard by 30th March. Mum contacts surgery yesterday seeking clarification.They promise a call back but don't get round to it.

She calls again today to have the receptionist ask her 'why she needed a shielding letter as they were only for people who work' and she was 'too old for work so what is the point' ? This upset my mum - the receptionist talked over her when my mum tried to explain and minimised her concerns. She said my mum's cancer means she isn't in the most vulnerable group and that she can go out. My mum explained that she doesn't have the internet and wanted to remain informed as to what she should be doing given her condition and the receptionist responded by telling her to just 'follow the normal guidelines'.

My mum asked me to step in . I get through - she signs heavily and is abrupt and I get the same script. I relate that we are following government guidelines and she is incorrect about only people working need the shielding letter. She then claims I am not listening and that she is going to put the phone down on me despite the fact that she is the one getting really exercised and talking over me in a misinformed and rude manner. She was really domineering, didn't check her understanding of the situation and was volatile.If I was rude in response I would own it - but I calmly challenged her when I could get a word in edgeways

I ask to be put through other manager who was by stark contrast really helpful and listened. Still no clarification though.

Would I be unreasonable putting in a complaint or should I just let it go given that this is a stressful time for everyone?

I have never dealt with anyone this obnoxious before and she crossed way over the line.

In the end I telephoned by Mum's consultant's secretary- who did not seem to be aware that they could put people onto the shielded list and thought it was down to GPs. She confirmed that my mum should be on the list and was going to ask the consultant to look into it. She was a very kind and helpful person too.

My mum now feels really uncomfortable about contacting the Dr in future as she feels really intimidated by this receptionist.

OP posts:
Shinyletsbebadguys · 01/04/2020 15:23

I personally wouldn't make an NHS complaint currently it wont be here dealing with it and they are all under pressure as long as you are able to gain access to the letter you need .

Saying that I am always amazed usually at MN reaction to doctors receptionists , i absolutely admit they have a hard job and I've met some outstanding ones (for a variety of reasons professionally i seem to have spent a large proportion of my career dealing with them). Some are truly fantastic people who are both boundaried but caring and pull off miracles. Sadly to a pp I dont agree it's a small amount that gove a bad name to the rest. Pp sounds like a great one in a tough position , however the op is far closer to my recurrent experience.

The amount of times I have heard them attempt to diagnose, make up rules , block stuff because of their own view is ridiculous. I also weirdly once worked with an ex gp receptionist who claimed she knew as much as the doctors and people didn't realise how medically trained they were (she absolutely wasnt trained medically in any way) and that half the time she prevented people from needing appointments with common sense advice (sadly this might be the case for a good one...she most definitely wasnt and apparently recommended homeopathy for basically everything)

Complain when things have settled as long as you have what you need for your mum.

MadisonMontgomery · 01/04/2020 15:23

I don’t think patients realise we are getting LITERALLY no more information than the general public. We watch the briefing every night and find out then what we are expected to tell patients the next day! I have had so so so much abuse from patients the past two weeks asking me when they are getting their letter/why they haven’t had a letter.

And I found out by watching the briefing that I wasn’t getting Easter bank holidays off this year.

Jumpjumpjumper · 01/04/2020 15:23

Maybe it's where they work. Where I work, there is a lot of us and we love going to work.

Jumpjumpjumper · 01/04/2020 15:24

I said "work" a lot there!

ChickLitLover · 01/04/2020 15:27

My mum now feels really uncomfortable about contacting the Dr in future as she feels really intimidated by this receptionist.

Your poor mum.

Yes, complain. The current situation doesn’t mean we should accept someone being an arsehole and it’s very dangerous indeed if their attitude is making someone feel uncomfortable about calling their doctor in the future.

Our surgery has a couple of really unhelpful and rude receptionists but some lovely ones too. Tell your mum not to be put off.

I hope your mum is ok.

onlinelinda · 01/04/2020 15:27

I'm sorry Madison.

MrsToothyBitch · 01/04/2020 15:30

I think GPs receptionists do a hard job but that doesn't excuse how needlessly rude and aggressive some of them are.

Once your mum is sorted, I would complain. I find asking if they want some brasso for that button usually puts jumped up twats back in their place, too.

Couchbettato · 01/04/2020 15:31

When I was pregnant in 2018, I needed blood thinners which pharmacists were struggling to get on a regular basis.
Because of this I had to ring early to get my repeat script filled in. All but one receptionist would do it over the phone and that one receptionist always told me they can't do repeat scripts over the phone and I have to come in and fill a form out and wait 5-7 days for it to be filled in (which is balls as well), so I used to just book a doctor's appointment and get them to print one while I was there.

I hope you get an answer OP, I think receptionists forget what their actual job is sometimes.

ChickLitLover · 01/04/2020 15:37

I have had so so so much abuse from patients the past two weeks

That’s obviously not ok either. You shouldn’t be abused. But it sounds like OP and her mum were pleasant yet this receptionist was rude and dismissive.

JanewaysBun · 01/04/2020 15:40

Not all are at all!
My son had am accident and I was panicking and didn't know what to do (blood everywhere!) I ran to thesurgery and the lovely receptionists got a doctor down, called me down, calmed my other baby down and were amazing. In fact most of the 15 or so (big practise) go above board every day to help me and others

Roweeeeena · 01/04/2020 15:42

They are mostly vile and they were vile before coronavirus so it's not new. I've taken to being ultra American-style friendly to our meanest one: 'thank you so much for your help' etc. She still just glares at me and answers as abruptly as she can but it makes me feel better.
There is one lovely receptionist at our surgery. Always feel lucky if I get her.

SummersMahoosiveClipOnFringe · 01/04/2020 15:43

Thank-you everyone. Flowers

I really appreciate it and will complain but as some of you have rightly pointed our- not to right now whilst the NHS is overwhelmed. I have noted times/dates /info for future reference.

OP posts:
AhoyMrBeaver · 01/04/2020 15:43

I don’t think patients realise we are getting LITERALLY no more information than the general public.

I think we do actually, and we appreciate that the receptionist is simply the gatekeeper to the people who make the decisions based on experience and knowledge. They're not supposed to be the ones saying yay or nay about important things like this letter. A lack of knowledge is not a good reason to deter people from seeking more advice from an expert.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 01/04/2020 15:51

Many moons ago, my mum used to be a GP's receptionist and there was one occasion where another member of reception staff advised a woman (with an unwell 6 y/o son) to take him home and give him Calpol.

Which the mother duly did. The boy took a turn for the worse, so she brought her son back to the surgery.
And when one of the doctors walked into the waiting room, to call in their next patient, they took one look at him and told someone to call an ambulance.
The poor little thing was burning up and had meningitis.

My mum said you could have heard a pin drop afterwards.
I can't remember what happened to the receptionist, but if I were one of the practice partners, I would have sacked her on the spot.

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 01/04/2020 15:51

It costs very little to be civil and help as far as you’re able. If you don’t know, it’s far better to say “Sorry the only advice I can give is to contact her specialist. I can understand why you would feel in a limbo. Wishing you the best of health”. It’s not helpful but at least it isn’t rude.

EmmaBridgewater20 · 01/04/2020 16:04

There’s a couple of nice ones at ours who are genuinely lovely and so helpful. But that’s out of about 8 who are horrific, rude, unhelpful, purposefully obtuse and in a couple of cases (which isn’t there fault) really, really stupid.

It’s a shame because the doctors at our surgery and the service they offer and things they do to go above and beyond are brilliant.

itbemay1 · 01/04/2020 16:10

Don't complain now. GP surgeries are stretched to capacity, with people off sick and running on a handful of the usual staff. What happened to you both is totally unacceptable but please wait until all this is over and then they will be able to reflect better. I think if you raise a complaint now you'll get an unsatisfactory standard response.

Bubblewings · 01/04/2020 16:28

OP I really feel for you - my experience of doctors receptionists range from indifferent to plain nasty, I really can’t think of a nice one unfortunately. But, when it’s a parent they have been rude to, it’s 10 times worse because you feel so protective of them. Both my parents and myself have been misinformed by them and spoken to with that contemptuous, condescending manner time and time again. When you finally get to speak to a GP, you find that your questions/concerns are met with warmth and understanding. Like other people have said, I would definitely complain but when everything is a bit calmer.

pingbloodyping · 01/04/2020 16:29

The ones at our old GPs were so bad we changed surgeries. I get that it can be a stressful job, but there are many, many client facing roles that are equally stressful and recruitment needs to focus on people suited to it and trained to be professional. I'm not looking for empathy even just for the reception staff NOT to be rude.

pingbloodyping · 01/04/2020 16:32

I once walked into the old GP unnoticed to hear the receptionist discussing "Fucking bitch' and her condition and more details with the rest of the team. I couldn't believe how they were talking about a patient, and how they were talking about a patient in the reception room where anyone could have come in from outside( me) or from seeing one of the GPs.
The worst bit was the 'bitch' they were discussing was the sad old dear I'd passed on the way in on the path who was dabbing at her tears with a hanky and could barely walk.

Helenshielding · 01/04/2020 16:33

Please please complain! That's awful!

I got a phone call from the receptionist at my GP yesterday- they couldn't post my prescriptions because they didnt have any stamps. I was to drop in stamps and an envelope for them Hmm I'm shielding!

user1497207191 · 01/04/2020 16:33

I'm sure they start off as normal people, but the job seems to fossilise their hearts.

Not necessarily. In one of my previous firms, we had "Jean" the receptionist from hell who was hated equally by staff and clients alike. Eventually, the partners found the courage to sack her. Fast forward a few years, and there she was, a receptionist at our local GP surgery, still just as rude, obnoxious and unhelpful as she was when she wasn't a GP receptionist. I actually hang up the phone if she answers as she's completely useless - she is completely incapable of doing even the simplest of tasks (just like she was when we worked at the same place).

pingbloodyping · 01/04/2020 16:35

'My mum now feels really uncomfortable about contacting the Dr in future as she feels really intimidated by this receptionist.'

If she likes the GP then when things calm down, speak to them about the behaviour of the reception staff. But if she's okay to switch surgeries then so that. they won't get rid of the receptionist given the low bar set for them they get away with murder.

Helenshielding · 01/04/2020 16:36

Reread the thread, the advice being given is dangerous, I dont think waiting till this is over to complain is wise. How many other people is she misadvising?!

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