Driving to other parent and THEN exercising

[TheOrigBrave]

I think this is OK.

I drive DS to his Dad's to enable contact. I take his bike and DS and ex go on a bike ride from ex's home. That's no different than DS having a bike at ex's house, it is.

It’s fine.

Sounds fine to me

This is fine. I've thought about driving to shopping or chemist, then doing exercise from there, then driving home. Just gets you out in a different area.

Thanks. I thought so too. My ex is a twat and I want to speak with certainty when we arrange things.

I didn't know driving for exercise was a no no? I drive to a park every day for a walk

For the special case of child visiting NRP, that's OK

Well that visit didn't happen, and now ex is saying his landlord doesn't want ds to go and visit.
My understanding is that ex had his own rooms but he can use the landlady's kitchen when they are not there ie shared space.
I believe LL is middle/older aged but that's all I know.
Ex is KW and is still going out to work.

I guess we just have to respect LL wishes. I can drop DS off and they can do exercise and then I take him home, but tbh I resent that as all told it'll be 3hrs out of my day when I am already trying to manage full time work and keeping ds occupied. If I could sit somewhere with WiFi I could work.

It just always seems to be me who end up enabling what others want.

Why can't he travel to you and take ds out while you work at home?

No you dont have to enable him. His landlady, his problem. He can come to get DS from you and go to exercise.

Ex doesn't have a car, I don't want him near my home (history), he's a selfish arse. If I don't enable contact ds would never see his dad.

When you say your ex is a key worker what does he do? Is he in regular contact with people who have, or nay have, CV?

No, he does phone triage for vets - something like that? I don't have a pet but I think it's for people who have pet insurance - you call a general number (ex's place of work) and they direct you to right place. I don't actually know.
Actually I don't know why he can't do they from home - would you need a switch board?

As you can tell, we don't have a good relationship.

He does love animals though.

It very much sounds like your ex isn’t desperate to see his son. TBH in this scenario I wouldn’t be taking ds to his fathers and hang around for 3 hours while they exercise.

If your ex is still going to work and is in contact with his LL there is a risk of him passing CV onto your ds. The less contact we have with people the less risk there is of contracting CV.

I understand why he can't work from home now; my older son explained what he did.

I have suggested ex get the bus to nearby (to me) town and I will drop DS there with bike so they can exercise. That's it - no one (including DS) can say I haven't tried.

I'm really struggling to manage everything at home (like most people obv, I'm not complaining), at feel resentful that he thinks it's OK for me to just do more.

@goldenorbspider

Yeh. They changed it a while ago now.
No driving to exercise. You have to walk where you live.

Driving to a park is non essential.

@goldenorbspider

They haven't said you can't drive for exercise, they've said stay local if possible. What they were actually trying to avoid is people driving an hour to the beach or a national park and clogging places up. You can go somewhere local to exercise, and that can be by car if it's too far to walk. The fact that the parking facilities at your chosen park haven't been closed suggests you are not going somewhere that is overly busy. My mother is still driving for exercise because she lives in a hilly village with only a few pavements.

Ex says "not really" to my suggestion of him getting bus to nearest town.
I'm done. I'll just make something up about isolation to save DS's feelings this time. He's getting the measure of his Dad though.

DS2 still hasn't seen his Dad.
I got another vague email from ex, which sent me into a tail spin. He messes with my head.
Before I got around to replying DS1 had arranged something with his Dad and DS2 for today, but it was weather dependent so has been cancelled.
I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to about 4 hours entirely on my own at home.