To be worried about exh coming to visit children.

[PurpleThistles84]

backstory: we have four children between us aged between 10 and 14. 14yo is turning 15 on Saturday. I am remarried and have a 9 month old baby. We have been self isolating for nearly four weeks now due to initially having cv type symptoms and now just as gov and nhs say. The children haven’t seen their dad during this time, usually they would see him every weekend. He lives with his mum who is in her 70’s. We live very rural, he lives in a city. I know the guidelines say that children of separated families can go between households.

As said my eldest turns 15 on Saturday and exh asked if he could see the children. They miss him and i want them to see him. He doesn’t have any symptoms of CV but I can’t help worrying. It’s like I have felt we are safe out here in the middle of nowhere and he is the first ‘risk’ to be taking.

We discussed it and he said he is happy to come out here and take the kids out for their once a day walk which seems the better option than the children going into the city to his.

I just feel very uncomfortable and quite anxious about it, but I also know how much it would mean to the kids to see their dad and for him to see them. What should I be doing here?

I think the walk is a good compromise. My boys dad came just to say hello.

Let them go to their dads as normal. Children under 15 luckily don't seem to be affected by COVID19

A 13 year old has just died from it?!

What's he been doing - has he been self-isolating to protect his mother (that's what we're doing here, so we can continue to care for MIL). If he has, he's likely to be low risk. I'd let the walk go ahead either way, but if he's been self-isolating for long enough and is showing no symptoms, I'd let him visit too.

I wouldn't let them all visit him at once though, purely because that feels like a lot of people being cooped up and it is much harder to properly socially distance in a city.

He finished work on Monday last week and says he has only gone to the supermarket a couple of times for necessities. He is a bit of a conspiracy nut so I worry that he isn’t taking the coronavirus quite as seriously as he should but that’s just an assumption based on things he said to the children over a month ago now.

Yes, but the percentage dying is minuscule for the under 15s. Personally I think it more important children can be with their parents as normal.

YABU to be denying normal contact with their dad

My children are seeing their dad as normal.

My children are still doing their usual 50/50 with each parent.

How would you feel if it was the other way round, you hadn't seen your children for 4 weeks and he was reluctant to let you see them on one of their birthdays? I can't imagine you'd be happy

I’d be heartbroken if it was the other way around however I also would be relieved my children were in a very rural setting and would not chance passing anything on to them by visiting, regardless of how hard I would find it. I would video call.

They have not been going to his as normal because both the baby and I were initially ill with corona type symptoms so the whole household isolated. Then as said he lives with his mother who is in her 70’s and so should be completely isolating for 12 weeks.