I actually hate my husband right now...I can't be the only one!

[dimdarkashian]

We both work full time. Have a baby and a pre-schooler. He sits upstairs almost all day working and occasionally comes down if I plead him as I have a short conference call. Wednesday's and Thursday's are horrendous as I have to teach and attend meetings. I tried to condense to two days to help him out but I'm dreading tomorrow. I've hardly got any prep done today and I'm trying to do that now and he's not happy that the baby has woken up...he wants me to deal with it...I need to work! He seems to be working longer hours but he's saying he's not getting all his work done. I suspect he's working all day so he can avoid childcare and then he's pissed off at night when he has to deal with the baby when he wakes so I can do work. I still put the baby to bed. No wonder there has been a spike in the divorce rate in China! Surely I can't be the only person that is experiencing similar?

YANBU. He is being massively unfair.

These times are trying for everyone but you are doing what you can to make it easier by condensing your calls/teaching into two days.

He needs to do his bit and make some changes as well so that you both get the chance to complete your work and have some downtime.

If he is working all day and not getting everything done then I would guess he isn't being productive.

Sit down with him, tell him it isn't working as it is. Something needs to change -ask him for his suggestions. Maybe one of you works in the morning and one in the afternoon? Then maybe an hour or two in the evening. Whatever works for you.

He is bloody useless but baby / toddler days were really hard. Do what you need to and don't feel guilty, is my advice 🍷

You pick different and equal time to be on deck.

If he doesn't agree, what exactly is his reasoning?

Open his door and put the children in there with him then get on with your work.

Why are you letting him do this?
Tonight sit down with your schedules in front of you and block the childcare time out 50/50.
Be crystal clear that he needs to do as much childcare work as you, it isn't optional.

Yes to all of the above, but ALSO, you both need to talk to your managers and explain that you cannot work at your normal capacity in the current circumstances. You don't have your normal office facilities and you are also having to cope without childcare. Work out what will work together with your husband and then you both have to make it clear to your workplace that there will need to be compromises.

You won't be the only ones in this situation, and it's not just for a couple of days. You need to find a sustainable pattern going forward.