AIBU to not see DSC?

[Harktheharker]

No idea what to do for the best. We normally have DSC EOW. We missed the last time due to self isolation with possible Covid-19.

We are now out of our isolation period but lockdown has come in to force since then. I know the Govenment Guidelines State Contact can continue but none of us, including DSC's DM, know what to do for the best.

One the one hand, it seems safest for everyone, including DSC to refrain from contact for now. Every time one of us has to shop for food we might potentially have picked up the virus and be incubating. Either them or us, so, potentially, if we maintain contact, we could still be unwittingly passing it between the households. I know the risk of death to individuals is low but the reality is, we aren't immune to this. Any one of us could be one of the unlucky ones. I don't want to leave my DC without a parent, my DSC without a parent, or god forbid anything happen to one of the DC/DSC. Two DSC have asthma. I don't think it's severe but both require inhalers and one, in particular, has had several attacks.

I think DH believes that the safest thing to do for now is refrain from contact to try and keep everyone safe but at the same time he's absolutely devastated, he's cried. He wobbles and says he'll have to see them, etc.

It feels like the safest option for now, is not to see them, to reduce everyone's risk, but how long for? We can't not see them for months and months on end. I think that's the thing frightening DH the most. If we knew it was just 3 weeks to a month, he could manage, but months and months?

Do we just take the risk and maintain normal contact for now?

You can't do it. Unfortunately, emotions do not trump scientific fact. It sounds like you already understand why and as upsetting as your DH's distress will be, he just can't see them. He's not alone in this though and people all over the world are finding ways to stay in contact with their loved ones. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, perhaps steer him towards thinking of the things he CAN do regarding contact. No, it won't be physical contact but there are still ways.

My children aren't seeing their dad and dp isn't seeing dsc. We all agreed this is the best way to keep everyone as safe as possible.

My DD isn't seeing her Dad and won't be for at least 12 weeks as his GF is high risk. The decision was his and I agreed as it's safest for everyone.

Skype/Zoom/Houseparty? Get over yourself, you can still tall to them and see them.

My DD is seeing her Dad. The government have not banned it. He is isolated apart from DD and a daily walk (I’m doing his shopping along with my parents and my sister’s). We both think it’s vital for the emotional health of DD. If the government tells us to stop we will but we consider this essential whilst it is still permitted.

My best friend and her husband are separating for 12 weeks because he's a doctor and she has a collapsed lung/respiratory problems. Very emotional for them both, but it's for the best. They want to do what they can to avoid her getting this virus.

Unfortunately, emotions sometimes have to come second.

There’s a reason that continuing coparentjng arrangements are included in the govt guidance.

It doesn’t sound as though any of you are massively high risk. I’m not understanding why you don’t want to carry on contact as usual - a bit of normality is really, really important for children at the moment.

I bet you wouldn’t consider being away from your DC for an unspecified amount of time?