To expect my music choices to be listened to as husband are?

[Vedaisawesome]

Saturday night I listened to husband's music choices, not all to my taste as he is a country fan. First I listened to Derek Ryan, then Mac & O. I then said can we have less country. He did play some Smokie, Annie Lennox, then a mixed Power Ballad cd with Meatloaf, Tina Turner, Poison, Whitesnake etc on it. Tonight was my choice. One cd in, three songs in, he declares he can't stand it, he said he was off to bed. Didn't even ask for a change which I would have done. Wasn't interested in compromise. As far as he was concerned I had picked the music and he was off. It was Meatloaf Bat out of Hell 2. Why should I have to endure all his music choices and have to listen to them on his night when he won't listen to mine or even compromise as to choice on my night.

I don't understand why you are having music nights. It sounds like you don't like the same music so what's the point?

He has terrible taste in music but hes not unreasonable to go off to bed if he wants to

Never marry someone whose music taste you can't stand. Drunk music nights are the glue that holds my marriage together.

Me and my DH have completely opposite tastes in music. He's mostly pop, old pop at that, whereas I'm 90's trance/dance. We do share music, but can have a laugh when one of us thinks the others choice is unbearable and we switch things up. I think your DH was being a little unreasonable going to bed if you had put up with his choice prior. I'd expect that from a 5 year old but not a grown man.

You both have dreadful taste in music. Please don't let it drive you apart as there's a risk you'll both inflict your terrible taste on two new wholly unsuspecting people.

Me and my DH have different music tastes - he's into death metal and I'm not! Over the years we've found some music that we both like, so we'll put that on if we're cooking together or decorating etc. But we never deliberately sit and listen to music together.

All those songs sound awful to me, do you really just sit and listen to music all night though? I’m confused?

I usually stick with headphones when my husband's in the house, unless we're too far apart for it to matter. We're not always in the mood for the same music at the same time, even if it's not something we actively dislike.

Maybe your tastes are too different to share music this way. I can understand being miffed that you endured his tastes and he bailed when it was your night, but at least next time you won't feel guilty if you want to leave him alone with his music choices.

If you really want this to work, maybe you can agree to choose songs (albums, bands, whatever) in rotation. Each of you gets a turn on the same night and there's more incentive to sit through things you wouldn't have chosen yourself.

Very wise words from MrsTP. DH & I got together over our shared taste in music and it still holds us together now, 30-odd years later.

I have also been known to enjoy the occasional music night with our now adult sons. Now that's fun. Apart from the time that DH discovered that his best whiskey had disappeared in pursuit of multi-generational bonding - oops

Awww it's well worth the whiskey.

We don’t like the same music so we each listen to our own preferences whilst out on a jog or when the other is out of the house. Or use earphones. Not a problem unless you make it one. I really wouldn’t want to listen to partners’ choices nor would I enjoy listening to my music with them as it’d spoil it for me that they’re not enjoying it.

Listen to your own on headphones!

Do you have to spend every minute of the day with each other in the same room? If you relax somewhere else it wouldn't be a problem unless one of you has music on loud and that's not necessary.

There are other things besides music - reading, TV, Netflix, etc.

For clarification, we both enjoy some cross overs on each other's music. I have an eclectic taste, a bit of jazz, blues, 70s 80s pop, heavy rock, pick and mix from various genres. Husband mainly 70s 80s pop but mostly he's really into country, particularly Irish and American country, occasional popular rock hits. It's not so much the music playing as gets me but the shutting down of my choice. To be clear, we have a music/games room where we sit on evenings when we don't wish to watch TV. Husband has a vast collection of music and my smaller collection of varying artists has been incorporated into this since we married. We are talking a few thousand of CDs and albums. Serious collection. We have music nights... Don't just listen, read , talk etc but music is on. But if he doesn't like my choice he just lumps off to bed, while I'll just pick up a book, tablet etc if I don't like his. Why can't he still enjoy the company even if he doesn't like the music. It'll change soon.

Meatloaf Bat out of Hell 2

Fabulous album, I listened to it over the weekend. Again!

Just because you choose to tolerate something you like, doesn’t mean everyone should. I’d have taken myself off to bed to read in peace and quiet if hubby played something I really didn’t like. How is it enjoyable for either of you to make him sit through something he hates??

You don’t like that should have read

DP listens to bits of everything, I draw the line at Mika and Nickleback though. Myself, I'm a trance freak, although I also listen to a myriad of genres. DP always says "you aren't playing that trance shit, are you?, wags a finger at me and vanishes off to her cave...

I'm kind of impressed with the idea of music night. It's very 60s. I can imagine lots of wicker furniture and people snapping fingers with approval at the whatever has been selected to go on the turntable.

That being said...you have heard of netflix, haven't you?
I swear, if I had to listen to my husbands choice of music for 10 minutes it would get ugly. More of a podcast person though.

Why can't he still enjoy the company even if he doesn't like the music. It'll change soon.

Ohhh that sound a bit sinister 😱

DH is a BIG blues fan...my tastes run from blues (not extreme) (and only since I’ve known him Howling Wolf is my blues god!) to 90s rock, hair metal, Janis, P!nk, Angry girl 90’s music, MeatLoaf, Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds, Fleetwood MAC, Blondie, The Doors. Disturbed, Korn, Marilyn Manson.

We’ll play each other what we consider a brilliant track. Sometimes we like it and adopt it into our playlists. Sometimes it’s banished into the ‘I love you, but’ vaults, the mix turns out quite interesting.

I listen to a lot of stuff on my own now

Point being, yes, he should give your tracks a chance. We’ve both introduced each other to new music this way.

unless hes played it to you a billion times, or you him, DH I’m looking at you

@SimplySteveRedux Meatloaf is incredible, I remember scandalising my (church) youth club by taking bat 2 (on cassette, ye gods) for ‘background music’. Think we got halfway through ‘Life is a Lemon’ before the vicar turned purple and turned it off.

@SimplySteveRedux hey, what’s wrong with Nickleback? it may be late and I may have had

@Vedaisawesome tbf, NOT a country fan. Heavy rock? Now, tell us more...

DH is a huge music lover. He behaves as if I'm being unreasonable because I want quiet after listening to kids scream at me all day.
Unreasonable.... Well it's blaring from his phone so the volume changes as he walks around, he's also singing it loudly & I have to yell to be heard. Oh, and it's barbershop men's acapela, which, to me, sounds like claws down a blackboard. I literally can't stand it. I curse the person who introduced him to the hobby!!

@Doggomatic no Netflix in our house. In fact, no mainstream broadband at all. We manage by WiFi dongle with limited usage. No streaming.