For wanting to cry each time I read a thread about not social distancing

[countbackfromten]

I’m an anaesthetic and intensive care doctor, working exhausting shifts with my colleagues trying to save as many lives during this as possible. I live alone, away from my family who I miss terribly. I made the decision well over a month ago not to see them before the advice on social distancing as I knew I was going to be exposed to patients with covid19 and I didn’t want to risk it.

One person with covid19 can infect 3 more on average and this can happen before you are symptomatic. Go ten layers up and that is 59,000 people infected. With normal flu - by ten layers up 14 people are infected.

You may be visiting one person. They may just visit one other. They may travel and expose another couple...and so on and so on.

I keep reading threads about people who are visiting others for non essential reasons and I just want to cry. For all of my patients, for all of their families who won’t get to say a proper goodbye if the worst happens, for all of those who we can’t save. This is hell, I feel like I am in a living nightmare and going to work makes it easier as at least there I can do something. I can be useful. Resting at home I feel guilty.

Social distancing isn’t up for debate, this is the science of how many people will be infected without it. Please just stay at home. Save lives by doing so. It really isn’t that hard in the grand scheme of things when we are battling against something that is infecting many and sadly killing people.

For those who are social distancing - thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because you are saving lives by doing this. And selfishly getting me closer to being able to see my parents and get the cuddle I so desperately want right now.

I think you have every justification for feeling this way. I got very cross recently, with a thread on here where the OP's husband was going to drive from N Yorkshire, to London, to bring home their 24 year old daughter, because she wasn't happy socially distancing and working from home in her house share in London. 100 people on that thread have said they'd do the same in a heartbeat - despite being told the risks it would spread the virus from a hot spot to one where it hasn't got as much of a grip yet.

I think the word Covidiots was coined for behaviour like this.

And thank you for all you are doing - I used to be a theatre nurse (but am not physically capable of going back into nursing, even if my skills weren't a quarter of a century out of date), so I know how hard the medical staff, nurses and other HCPs work at the best of times - and it must be so much harder now. You are wonderful.

I'll bite @EmAndes what was you're very good reason?

YANBU

There are tonnes of threads like this where people feel the same.

I have to say that, sitting here in my room with possible Covid symptoms (mild so far) and an increasingly bad case of cabin fever, one thing I'm glad about is that I've not seen a single person outside my household for more than 10 days before my symptoms started, so I don't have to fret about all the people I might have infected if I'd been out and about. If I've got it, it stops with me.

OP thank you for all you're doing. Hope you stay well and get that cuddle soon.

I just opened the door to the post man who was standing right on the mat and handed me my parcel directly. I got the interaction over as quickly as possible but I had deliberately chosen postage that didn’t need signed for. Every other delivery as rung the bell, and stood back at the gate until I opened. It’s stuff sent from work to allow me to stay away from the office and keep working. If he has it and knocks on 10 doors today (I don’t know how many they average a day) that’s a hell of a lot of potential spread.
Some people are working so hard and risking so much like OP how has the message missed some.

I dont want to say yabu or YANBU.

I totally get why you feel the way you do.

However, if the threads are impacting you that much. I would suggest taking a time out from opening and reading them. Or perhaps social media completely.

You are having a very stressful time. Things that are making it worse are not going to help at this time

Helping someone who’s had a fall isn’t breaking the rules, it’s covered under providing help to a vulnerable person/essential medical reasons.

See @EmAndes I don’t think anyone would disagree with that being essential and thank you for doing that

@EmAndes - that's not "breaking the rules" though. Going outside for medical reasons is allowed.

This thread is about people making non-essential journeys and having unnecessary contact, which your case is clearly neither.

(Well done, by the way.)

That sounds like a perfectly acceptable reason to break the social distancing rules, @EmAndes - and I would be very surprised if @countbackfromten was talking about people doing something like this.

She is talking about visiting people for non-essential reasons.

I’m not seeing these threads. I’m seeing more posts shaming people for sitting in their own gardens tbh.

How is driving to a location and collecting someone who is living on their own and returning to your own home spreading the virus to somewhere that hasn't got it? It doesn't travel on a car and jump off en route.

(I know there's the danger of having an accident, but that isn't about spreading the virus and is a very different point).

I've not seen any groups out, where I live everyone seems to be following the rules sensibly. The fact that the weather has got colder and less nice should help too.

And momentary contact like the postman is very unlikely to spread the virus unless he coughs over all the letters and the people he opens the door to.

@countbackfromten* please can you post this on every thread from posters complaining that their human rights have been violated by being told that they can't come and go as they please?

In the meantime this was on my local Facebook page

I get ya OP. I wish they could see what we see and have to deal with what we deal with.

Today we have cancelled all elective surgery including cancer operations, to turn our theatres into extra ITU beds. It’s that serious but people must go out to post an item they’ve sold on eBay, or deliver some brownies or god knows what other ridiculous reasons I’ve read on here!