To say lockdown has caused separation anxiety?

[jmscp]

Is anybody else experiencing this?

DD 2 years 3 months has gone from the most confident little thing that used to lay down and go to sleep after a quick cuddle.

Ever since I was furloughed at work and obviously her life has been tipped upside down (no GP, no trips out, no nursery etc) she has been terribly clingy and now breaks her heart every time we leave the room at bedtime.

I'm struggling with it, obviously we're all in the same boat stuck in the house with kids and toddlers but this is just the cherry on the cake now and what used to be so easy has become a battle and an upsetting chore for everybody involved. I've cried so much out of frustration the past few days.

She's doing it now but DP is having a go at settling her, but I guess I will have to take over soon.

Any advice on this separation anxiety? Is it a faze? How do we deal with it?

It’s actually a normal phase at like 15 months to 3 years anyway. I’m not sure I have any tips for you sadly but hopefully others do

Well even little ones must notice life is difficult currently, so they are bound to be a bit unsettled.

Structure the day as in always meals at same times, plan activities for each day(at 2 they are easy to entertain) , offer cuddles/ keep telling her mummy & daddy love her....nothing else you can do really

This is temporary it will pass

yes my 4 year old won't let me out of his sight. He usually goes to nursery 3 days a week and since the lockdown I have been his main playmate. (nearest aged sibling is 9 years older than him) He used to be such a confident boy and loved seeing his friends. The thing I'm dreading most is when he starts school in September. He's now going to find it incredibly difficult after months at home.

Thanks both, good to hear it may only be temporary, I just don't know the best way to deal with it, are we creating rods for our own backs by being there while she goes to sleep? Obviously though we can't bare to hear her cry as frustrating as it is, is it better to go in and out and keep trying to settle her? But that also seems a battle of wills with her. As soon as you attempt to put her back in bed she immediately starts to scream again cos she knows your going to leave. Even sitting with her sometimes doesn't stop it as soon as you start to make a move she starts up again. It's horrible, my heart breaks for her but she won't listen to us, she's just too upset.

My son went through this phase a few months ago. I decided just to give him the comfort he needed. Then after a couple of weeks started to attempt leaving the room (I'm just going for a wee, I'm just going to tidy my room, I'm just going to do the dishes), so basically leaving for a reason and coming back but making the tasks bigger over time. He's back to normal now.

@gingganggooleywotsit it's hard isn't it, sending to you and your boy.

@mschatterbox thank you. Will try that! I really hope it soon passes, I hate seeing her like this

Yes but my DD will be 10 YEARS old in a couple of months! She is like a limpet, I can't go to the loo without her following me, she even fell asleep on me the other night as she wouldn't go to be alone!

Same here. 3 year old keeps telling me she's missing me. I'm in the same room as her most of the day! Already know going back to pre school is going to be a battle!

It is horrible. Just remember she's very confused right now and just seeking that extra reassurance from you. So hopefully if you reassure her for a while you can soon work on getting back to normal!

@mschatterbox thank you. She's just gone down after another long cuddle and me lying her down and telling her I'd be back in one minute, conked more or less straight out when I went back to check on her, must about been tired after the 2 hour battle! Here's hoping for a better night tomorrow

Bless her. It's hard especially when things have been running so smoothly for so long. Just hang in there!

I have this too. My youngest Dc is 5 and so clingy now, begging me to sleep in their room with them, saying they're scared of me getting ill and dying, and lots of unexplained tummy aches. I suppose it's natural for them to pick up on what's a very unsettling time .

She’s a baby. She needs reassurance from you because her world and usual routthas suddenly changed.

She doesn’t understand why her grandparents and poeple she sees every day at nursery have suddenly “disappeared”
From her life and is understandably worried you will disappear too

Just give her what she needs. She’s a baby. You don’t have anywhere else to be anyway do you?!

@knoxinbox

Thanks for the really helpful post

Have you tried sitting on the floor and holding her hand? Always works with mine x

@neverender I have tried just sitting next to her yes but not holding hands, she has a bed guard on so it makes it a little awkward but I could certainly give it a try! Thank you

It hasn't been very long and they don't have the same sense of time anyhow. You could've gone on a holiday and it rained and been stuck in the house. Not saying it wouldn't still be stressful, just saying your greater knowledge of what's going on in the world is surely adding to your analysis of this whereas there are lots of reasons why young DCs routines change and they adjust to it. It's bound to be emotional but I would try not to overthink it and be in tears. DC are incredibly adaptable. The more you can act like it's not a big deal the better.

@Pinkdelight3 you're quite right and I haven't thought of it like that.
The tears are more through frustration I think and are not infront of DD, it's just obviously I'd get a lot done normally while she was in bed and I need the time even more now we're in together all day trying to keep busy! Thank you

Yeah DD is 2 and has seemed sad and lethargic the last couple of days... will do an activity with me for 5 minutes then want to be picked up and cuddled

I think it's likely. While I was on paternity leave I took my daughter to the mall most afternoons just because she loved smiling at people and seeing them wave back etc. Since she's been stuck inside she's got very clingy - she's fine with either me or her mum (or her 9yr old sister) but hates being passed from one to the other. And definitely harder to settle for naps.

She was supposed to start nursery two weeks ago. She just loves, or loved, being around people :(

If a child has separation anxiety the best thing is to actually hold them closer. Then the fear of you going reduces. This means after a few weeks you can try the 'nipping to the loo' as advised. You won't nake a rod for your own back. X

Why was it not helpful?! It wasn’t meant sarcastically!!! Just saying the same things as The3Ls above basically