DS won’t be seeing his father for weeks.

[RC1511]

DS’s father has decided he will not see him during this because he doesn’t want to risk his younger children getting ill (with new partner). I was put on the spot at the time and had no time to think about it but agreed that this is fine but I’m starting to over think it now.

I’ve never been the type to pressure my ex to have DS, far from it. He’s always been a bit hit and miss in his life anyway. We have him 99 percent of the time.

We are isolating, they are isolating. They live about 3 miles away so it’s not even a travel issue when it takes about 5 minutes to get here.

The government have said that children can travel between both parents.

DS seemed about it but I think now he’s realising it could be weeks or months before he sees his fed again. It’s also his birthday soon and he’s wondering if he will see his dad at all.

If his dad or stepmom was working through this I’d be a bit more reluctant to let him visit but they are at home like us.

Surely his dad should be making more of an effort?

Also, you’d think that he would ring or text DS to ask how he is - but nothing. Not heard a peep.

Typos - sorry!

Despite government guidelines sensible what he’s doing. He can always FaceTime regularly and send amazon delivery for birthday

It's tricky. Tbh I'd be glad that you weren't risking sharing bugs from one household to the other... but I'd arrange a timetable of Skype calls etc and possibly even a daily exercise schedule that went past their house so they could wave at each other (but only the latter if it wouldn't be too upsetting to be so close but not able to go in).

I agree op. This is all a balance of risk and in the situation that both households are healthy and isolating, the risk to your sons mental health / relationship with your dad exceeds the very small risk of transmission. In my opinion.

We are cowrienced the same here. I’ll admit, for me personally, it’s a blessing in disguise. But it’s not about me. Their dad suggested he stay away the first ‘serious week’ for us then to be told our ds4 is high risk and needs to remain home for 12 weeks min. His dad is rubbish. Just texts to say, give them kisses from me.....or 11.40pm last night....’I miss them so much, you’re lucky, you’ll never know what that feels like!’
It makes me sick. He’s spent the entire of our marriage lying, cheating etc to now chip at me for actually being stable and raising the children ( he asked for). He’s just lonely and can’t go to pubs, clubs and hookers. Bless him, he must be so bored

Thanks all. It may seem sensible what he’s doing - it is but for him I’m sure it’s really a perfectly good excuse not to see him. Things have been hit and miss for a while!

Face timing seems like a good idea @Numbness2020 but my son has tried this and he doesn’t respond. He does it from my phone and his girlfriend seems to have weird issues with it being from my phone (DS not old enough for his own yet). It’s clearly DS and not me. I never contact him unless I have to. We’ve been split up for 9 years. I’m not sure what her problem with me is 🤣