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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS father exposed DS to coronavirus??

29 replies

BueenQee · 29/03/2020 14:44

Have just received an email from DS father (we are separated) which read...

Btw, my mum has suspected corona. She has most of the symptoms and because she is high risk (diabetes, asthma, obese) she will likely be tested, so we should find out whether she has it or not. The last time DS seen her was Sunday. She started experiencing symptoms on Thursday.

WTAF!! Sunday was Mother’s Day and the whole world were told to stay at home. I do not know a single person who went to visit their mothers - myself included!

Why aren’t people taking this seriously. DS also has asthma so now I’m worried sick.

OP posts:
champagneandfromage50 · 29/03/2020 14:46

I would be absolutely seething with rage if my child had been put at risk by his own father. You need to focus your rage on looking after your son now

Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 14:50

He also put his high risk mother at risk too, by visiting her. And she should have known better.

OP posts:
Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 15:35

He’s now trying to play it down, saying DS was kept in his arms the whole time, wasn’t allowed to touch anything and was kept at a distance. They were only in her home for 5 minutes. Genuinely cannot believe this attitude and I’m worried that he’s going to keep exposing DS with this blasé attitude.

OP posts:
chickedeee · 29/03/2020 15:40

I think it is too late to be angry, be grateful he has told you and watch out for symptoms.

Sorry this has happened and I hope you all keep well. Thanks

Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 15:43

I’m not really angry, more worried. And worried that he’s going to continue to expose DS.

OP posts:
Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 15:44

My closest friend lost her dad to coronavirus yesterday so I appreciate how real this is, even if he doesn’t. I’m worried for DS.

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 29/03/2020 15:46

Keeping ds home seems sensible...

Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 15:51

@Windy

I did say in my reply that I’d prefer if DS remained at home with me for the foreseeable, but he’s told me I’m unbelievable and am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 29/03/2020 15:52

Should have added your ex has no leg to stand on if you deny access imo..
.

Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 15:55

I don’t want to deny access. I just want everyone to be safe.

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 29/03/2020 15:59

He is an utter idiot. Be the responsible parent and keep ds home.
Keep texts and email a solicitor if need be. Apparently some still wfh at this time.

CatEatCatWorld · 29/03/2020 16:11

If ds was exposed then he needs to be quarantined for 14 days anyhow.

Fuzzybumblebee · 29/03/2020 16:12

People are being told that if you have children who visit another parents house, this has to stop whilst this virus is around he can't force you to allow contact right now x

wtftodo · 29/03/2020 16:13

That’s not true, gov advice explicitly says children can still move between parents’ houses

Original poster
BueenQee · 29/03/2020 16:19

Children are allowed to move between houses. DS stayed at his dads last night. He brought him home this morning then sent aforementioned email. DS father knew his mum was experiencing these symptoms BEFORE he got DS yesterday, but he didn’t mention anything to me until the email this morning.

OP posts:
BrooHaHa · 29/03/2020 16:22

I'd probably start experiencing symptoms myself, OP, necessitating a 14 day period of self isolation.

AnotherEmma · 29/03/2020 16:22

I visited my mother on Mother's Day (and took DS) but she is not in a high risk group, she's 59 with no health conditions, and none of us are either.

I decided it would be the last time we'd see her for a while, and then lockdown was announced on Monday so we are obviously respecting that.

However, in the case of your exMIL being vulnerable due to health conditions, it does seem very irresponsible to have visited her.

The silver lining is that your ex has kept you informed. My advice would be to avoid going to crazy at him (if it's not too late for that!) so he doesn't avoid telling you more eg if she is tested and the diagnosis is confirmed.

I hope your DS doesn't get it Flowers

Oldraver · 29/03/2020 16:24

He took your DS there knowing she had symptons so cant moan if you keep him away him.

He has put you all at risk

AnotherEmma · 29/03/2020 16:25

I didn't see your latest post. Your ex should definitely have informed you about MIL's symptoms before taking DS yesterday.

Pumpkinpie1 · 29/03/2020 16:30

So your son may have been infected because his Dad ignored guidelines & Passed him back to you without telling you until later therefore potentially exposing your household as well !!!!!
Completely irresponsible!
So now your household is under quarantine because of his stupidity.

In the present climate, a phone call or FaceTime was the sensible thing to do on mother day not traipse around risking spreading CV . I can’t believe the reckless stupidity of some people

stayathomer · 29/03/2020 16:31

People make stupid decisions when they're emotional. He made a mistake and is probably worried too. Don't make this into a war, you all need to present a united front for your child

Amotherof6 · 29/03/2020 16:40

Sending hugs - I hope it all works out well.

I imagine there are a lot of silly Mother's Day meet ups that will end in a person being infected that could have been avoided... sadly.

TheSmelliestHouse · 29/03/2020 16:41

Say you feel unwell and isolate yourself and DS for 14 days. And then again.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/03/2020 16:42

Your ex is an idiot. You have a perfect excuse to suspend contact for a while as we have already been advised going between homes should be done as little as possible. I think it is perfectly reasonable to keep your ds with you until your ex can see the gravity of his actions. As there are probably going to be more intense restrictions on movement, he may start to comprehend.

Odds on your ds will be fine. I do hope he will.

CodenameVillanelle · 29/03/2020 16:43

Don't lie about having symptoms but explain you and DS now need to isolate for 14 days and worry about what to do about contact after that when things may well be different anyway