Picture the scene on Wednesday. 9am a news conference is called for an important announcement from boris. There he greets us from his bed wheezing and dripping with a feverish sweat. Next to his bedside at a 2 metre distance stand a worried looking doctor and a priest there waiting to perform the last rites.
He struggles to sit up, but manages eventually. And says, “My fellow citizens, I am struck with how difficult you are finding this, and yet soldiering on in the Blitz type spirit for which we are famed. This will be my last ever address to you, my time is limited not because of coronavirus but because...
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APRIL FOOLS YOU MUPPETS!!!!
Then Prince Charles, the queen, Carrie, Idris Elba all burst in doing the conga wearing party hats, swigging champagne, all absolutely trollied. 