DH father had a few children from a previous marriage. His ex wife became severely ill and she was in a country where there was no welfare system so his son had to find a way to support them. He moved in with DH’s family, worked and supported his family for a few years. As DH had a sister and the family had a three bedroom house the step brother and DH ended up sharing a bedroom (step brother was 20 and DH was around 10). He was sexually abused by the step brother. DH did tell his mother when it started that he felt he had been inappropriately touched. His parents spoke to the step brother who told them he may have touched him accidentally and it was a misunderstanding. He was told off very badly anyway and then nothing further until DH had a breakdown recently and revealed that it continued from there on. He is thinking about reporting it to the police now.
My question is how much can we blame the parents for this situation? They clearly failed in protecting their child. Obviously now with heightened awareness we would all be extremely concerned if a child reported anything like this. Was it different 20-30 years ago? The parents aren’t evil like some parents of abuse victims that I read about and they are totally consumed by guilt now. I think they were/are very naive and I don’t know whether we are being harsh by judging them through the lens of what we know as a society now about these things.