What have you actually gained from this experience so far?

[Stampy84]

It’s a very hard time for everyone, and when I feel the depression kicking in I try to think of positives and things I’m grateful for. Things that I’ve learnt from this.

What has changed in you after the isolating experience so far? What are you looking forward to doing most after it’s over? What have you learnt?

For me.. I’ve learnt a massive lesson in food wastage. I don’t waste any good anymore. Before, I’d have got lazy and ordered a takeaway even if there was food in the fridge. It probably would’ve gone off and got chucked. I’ve also learnt I ate out for lunch far too much! Even just stopping in a cafe and spending £7, it wasn’t a treat anymore! Now it will be.
I’ve realised I can entertain and enjoy my 17 month old without spending money all the time!
I’m enjoying just a walk through the field with her for our daily exercise! I love watching the wonder on her face at little things like a dog, plane or train..
I’ve also realised I’m very lucky to have a little garden for us to sit in, I didn’t give it a second thought before. I honestly really feel for people that don’t have an outdoor space for themselves or children to enjoy.
I’m so looking forward to seeing my whole family again! We really didn’t make the time to see each other when we could.
I’ve learnt how to get into a routine, and keep my house organised, can not believe how much that helps to clear your head!

What about you guys? What positives have come out of this so far for you?

Just me then 🤣

Agree with not having to spend money all the time! Haven’t touched my bank card in a week.

Currently wfh but work had to spend vast sums to enable wfh. Gained certainty redundancies and paycuts inevitable. I have gained huge deterioration in mental health. Gained realisation freedom can be snatched away at drop of a hat. So yep gained lots nothing positive

About a stone

Perspective, and the importance of social interaction. Will make more of an effort when this is over.

@Enlightenedowl
Yes I agree with the mental health side of things. At times I feel I’ve taken a major step back with mine, I was really getting better but have far too much time to overthink now! That’s why I really do try and find positives. Something to give me a boost.
I’m sorry things are so shit for you

@CallmeIT I can relate to this unfortunately. I keep telling myself that tomorrow I won’t eat like a bloody pig.. it just doesn’t happen!

Becoming a lot more self reliant. Realised how much I love my friends and family. Weirdly missing the normality of the office. Sleeping more. Lots of things really.

Nice thread btw

@PatsyClinSilVousPlait definitely the social interaction. I had a wobble this morning thinking how envious I am that some people are isolating with a partner or adult. For me it’s just me and my 17 month old- it’s incredibly lonely! But I must remind myself that the grass isn’t always greener!
I will certainly be volunteering with ‘help the shed’ when this is over, it’s made me realise some elderly live like this day in, day out with absolutely nobody to see or talk to at all

Getting better at not wasting food

Being a bit better at entertaining the toddler

Asking for help - this is something I was literally working on in therapy earlier this year. And I was making an effort. But having been unwell and self isolating it’s forced me to be more upfront and just say things like “can someone pick up milk for me” etc

@Jennifer2r I can’t wait to see my friends and family! I’m certainly going to really try enjoy things that I took for granted more! But without spending so much money!

@Hoohaahoo it’s crazy isn’t it? I realise now how I spent money without realising, or even needing to!

I've realised how much money I used to spend every day on little bits & bobs. Have paid off a big chunk of my credit card already with the money I've saved!

But above all, while I've been in isolation, i've been reading a book Loving Him Without Losing You, and it's absolutely transforming my understanding of relationships, how they should be vs how my marriage was.

I feel in a much better position to start a new healthy relationship. It's like being on a course or retreat for the last week. So useful. I'd recommend that book to literally every woman.

@LaneBoy the wasting food is my major one! I really didn’t think twice about it before, now I will no go to the shop until my fridge and freezer are pretty much empty! I never would have done that before!

I’ve gained a sense of perspective. There’s a risk we’ll come out the other side bankrupt but it really doesn’t matter. Not in the slightest.

@LightenUpSummer I will be ordering this book now! I did read ‘why men love bitches’ a few months ago and that was a real eye opener! I’ve had a resent spilt and I would love to get a book that will help me!

I've learnt that people including GPs still don't understand not all disabilities are visible, and it has reinforced to me that strangers can be really kind in providing practical help.

I've realised my DC are a lot more adaptable than me. They're 3 and 5 and barring forays into the garden and a brief walk on Monday (abandoned when it became apparent no-one else was bothered about keeping 2m away) they've not been out of the house for ten days now. This literally hasn't fazed them at all. We've been doing dancing / exercise / burning off energy in other ways, and they've been chatting to friends and family on Facetime but otherwise they are perfectly happy. It's actually DH and I who are struggling more.

It's proof they can adapt to a lot more than I give them credit for.

Definitely agree about food wastage - I'm hoping when this is all over it'll be something I can stay mindful of as it'll save a fortune on shopping!

Self restraint...I’ve managed a week without murdering my husband 🤣

The opportunity to exercise my critical thinking skills.

I’ve learnt that my DH doesn’t understand rationing. The other day I went mental at him for having 4 rashers of bacon in his sandwich, he stil doesn’t get why it’s a problem
We are probably on the mend after having COVID (no tests but all the symptoms) and it’s shown me how many people care. We have been very sick and the number of offers for food/painkillers and check ins is truly lovely.

OP I've read probably about 10 books by now to try to understand what a healthy relationship looks like, and this one is by far the best.

It's main thing is about the deep instinct many women have to put the man's best interests far above their own, which leads both people to respect the woman less - she becomes a "disappearing woman".

Maine lessons: go very slowly, maintain your own life, and don't change for a man. Good luck!

Time with my family

Less spending

More cooking

Starting on some DIY

Great thread and thanks for trying to start something positive