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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else having a positive experience right now?

51 replies

AFCorona · 29/03/2020 09:38

Prefacing this, I am totally devastated by all people who are struggling or who have fallen ill or lost loved ones. I miss seeing those I love in person and was gutted to not see Mum and family on Mother’s Day. It’s a given that many people are having a terrible time.

The last two years (2009 in particular) were the absolute worst of my life personally, work was so stressful and I was in a real pit at Christmas. I honestly felt I would never climb out of it.

Since lockdown I’m on a limited rota at work. I have had hours and hours to wind down and to completely clear my mind. I take my daily walk at night and it’s such a spiritual experience. No people, great music in my ears... Last night I shared a still moment with an urban fox!

I have lots of friends and family whom I adore but I am naturally reclusive by nature. I have always been a prepper so other than making sure my friends and family had what they needed (when this all started) I’ve only had to do a top up shop and could actually survive on what I have if there was a literal lockdown.

This morning I have had a delicious cup of coffee, exercised, talked to family and friends by text and am now watching mindless TV and enjoying my scented candle.

I KNOW this is an awful time for many but I just wondered if I’m being unreasonable to be enjoying the positives during this unprecedented situation?

OP posts:
summerfruitssquash · 29/03/2020 09:42

I don’t think YABU op, I think in these situations you HAVE to find positives in little things because otherwise your mental health could nose dive.
I’m finding the positives in everyday, a walk with my family means more to me than it ever has done and I appreciate being able to do so.

There are some that are not as lucky as me, and some who are/will lose their family and for that I feel awful, it’s heartbreaking seeing some of the posts on Facebook, and in the media.

But I think it’s important not to get too invested in constantly checking news etc especially if you are anxious like me.

RafflesMaidenSister · 29/03/2020 09:42

I agree there are some silver linings to this large black cloud. My partner works abroad in the week and hasn’t been able to get home for a few weeks. He’s now back and stuck here. All my toddlers dreams have come true and I’m pretty happy about it too

thecatsthecats · 29/03/2020 09:46

I was nearing burnout before this. Frequent work trips combined with a prolonged episode of migraines. I desperately wanted a break from the routine of work, and was struggling to keep on top of my diet (I've lost six stone, and need to lose 20lb more). My hobbies were a distant memory because I was wrung out from general life.

Now I'm sleeping well, routined, back on the diet through rationing food, and my husband is able to share the burden more as he works long hours.

It's good... So far.

Crispyturtle · 29/03/2020 09:47

My two kids (2 & 4) are absolutely thrilled to have both me & DH at home all the time, & not have to go to the childminders or pre-school. They’re so happy that they’re really fun & im enjoying spending time with them so much, which I did not expect Smile
Some things are very hard, but that’s definitely my silver lining.

ukgift2016 · 29/03/2020 09:53

I can see how some people are enjoying it.

I am not as I still have to work (key worker) I live in a small house (no garden) big introvert and don't particularly enjoy being around my partner and DD all the time.

KatyN · 29/03/2020 09:53

My kids are learning to play together much better than before. They were good before not now they’ll entertain each other for ages! Wooohooooo

Makeitgoaway · 29/03/2020 09:55

I've only done 5 days and apart from a surprisingly stressful trip to the supermarket, yes I have enjoyed the "break". I'm wfm but not particularly hard and there's no pressure of all the thing you "should" usually fit in to spare time.

However, the weather has been very kind to us. I expect it to get much harder as time goes on and particularly if the weather turns.

In Italy it's taken three weeks for signs of social unrest to emerge. I'm really concerned that public opinion forced the UK govt to introduce restrictions earlier than they planned and possibly too early for it to be maintained when it matters most.

TheoriginalLEM · 29/03/2020 09:58

I'm up and down. I'm worried about money as I've been furloughed and DP self employed.

Me, DP and Dd are very insular usually so am not missing socialising as it's usually just us so that's all good.

I'm enjoying that there is no pressure to go out. Got no money anyway!

So yes a time for reflection for me.

I have mental health issues so this enforced break from life will be good for me.

WTFdidwedo · 29/03/2020 10:01

Not necessarily positive but I'm probably one of the rare people for whom nothing much has changed. I've been furloughed but only work 3 days a week anyway and spend the other 4 days at home with my two toddlers. My husband is a key worker working the same shifts as before. We never really went out much other than the odd trip to the park and the supermarket as my children are difficult to control alone.

Neverender · 29/03/2020 10:03

I feel really guilty. Before this happened I prayed for:

  1. My annoying neighbours to go
  2. For a break from the daily grind
  3. For a financial break

Now, of course I don't think this is down to me and it's horrific that people are dying. But my reality is:

  1. The neighbours left before any lockdown
  2. I'm spending more time with DD
  3. I don't have any nursery bills until this is over and a (hopefully) stable job I can do from home worth DD there

The dice fall, and there's nothing wrong with noticing your own situation and being thankful IMO.

Neverender · 29/03/2020 10:04

I should add that in the last financial crisis I had my home repossessed. Someone bought it at auction for a steal.

Pipandmum · 29/03/2020 10:05

I'm in the lucky position of not having to worry about how I'm paying the bills etc - though my income has dropped by over 20%. But I own my own home and have a big garden and can afford to buy the food we need.
The positives for me is my older son is at home rather than spending four/five nights at his girlfriends. He is a bit stuck - if not at his girlfriend he'd be at the gym, college or work, but it's nice for me he's here for now (though I'd forgotten how messy he is)!
My daughter and I always do craft workshops together when school's out but we are doing that at home now. She is very helpful and is helping me declutter the kitchen cupboards etc.
I'm quite happy at home - seeing my friends online but no obligation to go out. Still doing exercise classes via Zoom. So personally I'm doing absolutely fine.
My kids are missing the social side of their lives (both teens), so expect tempers to flare after a few more weeks...

WreckTangle95 · 29/03/2020 10:06

Me! I'm really appreciating having my four children at home, they are only young once and I always hated the fact they had to go to school five days a week. I'm really cherishing this time together. I've always struggled with my family turning up unannounced and sitting on top of me for hours, expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Obviously since lockdown I haven't had one unexpected visitor - it's been bliss. I can lounge about in my pj's and not have to worry if the house isn't spotless.

Flowersforpowers · 29/03/2020 10:09

There are definitely silver linings. I'm cooking properly, we are eating much healthier with no McDs etc - and I expect saving money too. Toddler is thrilled to have mummy and daddy at home all the time. No commuting means easier mornings. Lots of downsides, but I'm trying hard not to list them.

BestOption · 29/03/2020 10:14

YANBU

I’m personally far too worried about elderly/vulnerable family & myself (underlyings) to relax enough to ‘enjoy’ or ‘appreciate’ being at home. Unfortunately

However, I’m genuinely pleased that some people are able to make the most of a ghastly situation and maybe even reasses what their life looks like when this is over & that some little people are enjoying having their parents home 😊💕

The ‘smug’ & ‘why should I isolate to protect others’ threads are pissing me off, but that’s MN/life for you. Some people really are bellends!

But your post is lovely 🌷say hi to 🦊 xx

JudyCoolibar · 29/03/2020 10:14

Yes. I really like working on my own without colleagues and phone calls interrupting all the time, I like not having the daily commute, I love it that when I finish or have a break I can just go and sit down with the family immediately. In fact, after this I'm thinking seriously of arranging to work from home at least a couple of days a week.

JudyCoolibar · 29/03/2020 10:15

I've always struggled with my family turning up unannounced and sitting on top of me for hours, expecting to be waited on hand and foot

Perhaps now's the time to plan what you're going to do to put a stop to that?

CaribouCarafe · 29/03/2020 10:17

Same - my workload was killing me towards the end of 2019. Felt that I didn't have any real chance to destress at all for about 7 months with workplace deadlines, drama, and university assignments.

Am taking this opportunity to take a pause, enjoy some of my hobbies that I've been unable to do for the past year, spend time with my husband, talk to distant friends and relatives over Skype, watch movies, read books, and think about my future.

For once being child-free is seeming like a positive, since I'm sure being in lockdown with children would be stressful. But having wanted children for years finally I'm having a silver lining to not having any.

Am enjoying working from home - my commute was killing me. I'm working extra hard on all my assignments so that once this is over I can try and convince my manager to let me work from home 1 day a week or at least once a fortnight.

I understand why people are finding the situation difficult - my heart goes out in particular to key workers, those who are infected or who have infected family members, those stuck with their abusers, those separated from their children due to changing contact conditions, those who have lost their jobs and those whose jobs are at risk.

However, for the majority, I think we need to focus on the positive aspects of lockdown. I've read accounts here about lockdown being tantamount to 'torture', but if you are lucky enough to not be in any of the above scenarios then I think that the positives need to be cast in a stronger light than the negatives or else you'll never get through this.

Pinkarsedfly · 29/03/2020 10:19

I think this is causing a lot of people to realise the way they were living was unsustainable.

Let’s face it, the way the world was living was unsustainable.

And I say that as someone who has lost rather than gained from this experience. I’d already made significant changes to slow my life down. Now I have rather too much of a good thing, and no income.

🤷🏼‍♀️

VisionQuest · 29/03/2020 10:20

I wouldn't say I'm enjoying it, but it certainly hasn't been as bad as a thought.

I definitely had reservations about being stuck in the house with my son and trying to work from home and home school him. But it's actually been ok and his behaviour has mostly been fantastic!

Ask me again in a few weeks when the novelty has really worn off!

Cunninglittlevixen · 29/03/2020 10:20

I'm loving a world without so many cars and fumes

hammeringinmyhead · 29/03/2020 10:21

DS is having a lovely time with us both at home - I was working part time until I was made redundant last week. I'm also spending nothing and have lost all interest in shopping which is a positive for my bank balance.

I miss my parents and my in-laws though, as 5 days a week on toddler duty is hard work.

Original poster
AFCorona · 29/03/2020 10:23

I'm loving a world without so many cars and fumes

On my nightly walk (my one exercise per day) the streets are deserted and I spend ages just looking up at the stars. I swear the skies are clearer than I’ve ever seen them here.

OP posts:
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 29/03/2020 10:30

My Crossy Road score has greatly improved Grin

I am enjoying being lazy (still working and exhausted from that) but not feeling I should be doing something is really enjoyable. Of course I could be exercising, yoga playing more games with ds but he is happy gaming I’m happy doing very little

And eating lots of not such good food without feeling I shouldn’t be enjoying that too

Stefoscope · 29/03/2020 10:33

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. But I await the 'but people are dying, how dare you be positive' and 'everyone needs to be social distancing, so you should too, how dare you go for a walk' responses.

I'm on furlough from work and my mental health is better than I can remember it being in 15 years. I've had struggles with social anxiety and agrophobia since childhood and knowing that I have permisson to not go to work or leave the house is very liberating. I only wake a couple of times during the night as opposed to hourly and I feel like a different person now I've had a few consecutive full night's sleep. I just need to plan how to build on this once lockdown is lifted. Who knows maybe I'll have some head space left over to finallly work on my phobia of driving.