To think that DS shouldn't be able to travel freely at this time?

[Molly175]

DS has significant mental health issues & is physically unwell (severely underweight, fungal infection, possible narcolepsy). Long story but he was rough sleeping for years. We found him, picked him up, he ended up detained in hospital. Now out, he goes missing a lot, it's part of his behaviour. Though under a MH care team, the support he gets is minimal. He can't live at home yet cos of the relations between him and younger siblings.

He's off again - again to another country in the UK, over 600 miles away. Since lockdown, the council where we live has put him and others like him in emergency accommodation. Now, he might loose it, again. Police have been notified and have seen him. They say he has no presenting problems ( he can sound convincing but he's very far from well). He's not got his anti-psychotic meds on him.

He managed to travel without raising the alarm and now he hasn't been given, it seems, a direction to return to his accommodation. And yet the city he's in is also in lockdown. We're told that tonight's hotel counts as his current residence. Yet, tomorrow, he'll be off again, roaming around and highly susceptible to the virus, let alone passing any symptoms on.

AIBU to think that he should be told to come back for his safety and that of others, including DH who sees him daily (I'm ill for other reasons and having to stay at home for now).

Unfortunately it's all about capacity, unless he's a danger to himself or others.

By the sounds of it he will deteriorate enough to possibly be detained, then have restrictions put on him. But you'll be worried sick until that happens.

It's going to be a extremely stressful time. All you can do is take care of yourself as much as possible.

I sympathise, have a DC struggling with MH (through not to the extent your DS is) confined to the house, and it is very difficult trying to balance the needs of all the DC, DH and I.
If someone told him to go back to his accommodation/your town, would he? Because I know this would have little impact on my DC if they were unwell. Perhaps he has been told and is taking no heed? But if you do think it would help, does he have a key worker or care coordinator who could talk to him?
It’s a hugely difficult situation, and sadly whatever course of action is taken, he is probably very vulnerable to the virus.
Is DH managing to see him 600 miles away and maintain social distancing/lockdown? You might have to consider how productive/necessary that contact is vs the risk to DH, you and your other DC.

What a worrying situation for you and your family OP. As you’re probably aware the threshold for detaining someone with mental health issues are high - the police can tell him until they’re blue in the face to go home but they can’t force him if he has capacity.

I know from experience how good some people are at masking the worst of their symptoms but the police will know that as well given how much of their work is now filling the gaps left by proper provision of health care.
I believe the current powers give the authorities the right to detain someone who they believe has the virus and refuses to quarantine but this doesn’t appear to be the case with your son.
The best you can probably do at the moment is keep the lines of communication open so you know where he is and ask the local homeless and mental health outreach organisations and the police to keep an eye out for him.

Thank you all for your replies and for sharing experiences.

DS only went off yesterday, so situation is still fluid. A big problem is that our local Council might take away his emergency accommodation here if he's away much longer.

DS, because of his lifestyle, is at risk of Coronavirus and of spreading it, as you say Melawati (and I hope that things setttle down for your family - very tricky times). DH sees him every day to give him meds etc when he's in the area. I worry about any length of time when he's without his meds, especially given his fragile state.

We're in touch with homeless charities and hostels - we've never met the staff but we know them well. This is oft repeated behaviour on DS's part and when you ask him why he went away, why he then ran out of money, why he then lost any accommodation he might have had, he simply answers 'I don't know'. And I don't think he does.

I am surprised that the fact that he's travelled this far now, and is likely to hop between cheap hotels and travel further hasn't, given the emergency legislation, set alarms bells ringning. Apparently, with the lockdown in the city he's now in, he'll stand out.

In a horrible way it’s not the worst time for this to happen because he will stand out - he won’t be able to get lost in the crowds. He’s also less likely to run into bother in a strange city with the pubs being closed - the ‘usual suspects‘ that would be out looking for trouble of an evening are off the streets too.