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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Treating isolation like a holiday’

253 replies

Theyearofthestress · 28/03/2020 16:01

Everyone is so angry and it’s doing my head in! Taking the mick out of people ‘treating this as a holiday’ because they’re doing their house up, or some gardening or god forbid have a bbq when the weather is nice.

Why are some people so keen to pounce on everyone and tell them they aren’t doing quarantine right? Haven’t we got enough to worry about? It is shit times for everyone, lots have lost their jobs, have huge changes to routine, worried for their health, kids are confused, adults are scared- why is it so wrong to try and make the most out of a shit situation?

We can’t go outside, so people are doing the right thing by staying in yet online everywhere are people complaining ‘Dave next door is treating this like a bloody holiday, with his gardening’ even a news article I read today condemned people who would have a bbq right now.

It’s like we should sit inside in silence in order to be doing this right.

I wish everyone would shut up moaning about other people, if you are staying inside you are doing the right thing. So AIBU to do whatever I can to pass the time, be it gardening, bbqs, painting... anything and tell others to mind their own business?

OP posts:
mooboy · 29/03/2020 11:57

The constant stream of people happily treating it as a holiday is annoying if you're still working as @watermelongalore pointed out. Dh and I are still working at home - dh clocked in 70 hours last week, we still manage to enjoy seeing a bit more of each other and do stuff with the teens like card games, cooking special meals - pretending we are on holiday(dh works on holiday too!) makes everything more pleasant - bitching about people who are furloughed does not make me feel good at all - we feel very lucky to be working - our company is supporting 10 others at the moment and we are still paying loads of tax - with not one hint of a subsidy, or grant or rebate from the Gov - which is fine - we don't need it and we are very lucky not to!

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2020 12:03

The people I know are nicer than you. They wouldn't go on about their holiday if they knew you couldn't afford it.
See I think I, and the people I know are nicer than the people you know. We understand how to share in each others good fortune without being badly jealous and how to share our own good fortune without being a dick. My friend has lovely holidays I can't afford, I love hearing about her adventures. I had babies before my friend could,l (circs not fertility), she loves seeing them. My friends job is very cool and involves lots of travel, I had to give up work to be a carer to my son - I'm massively interested in her career. Some of us will be getting through the apocalypse chilling and watching Netflix, some of us trying to keep 3 kids and education going and some on the front line savings lives - we're all interested and supportive and get something from each others happiness.

tinkywinkyshandbag · 29/03/2020 12:43

I think there's a difference between having a BBQ in your own garden with your own family and inviting all your mates round for a shindig. Similarly painting your own fence with paint you already had is a bit different than popping down to B&M with your partner for a whole load of decorating stuff. It's all a matter of balance isn't it.

Wilkie1956mog · 29/03/2020 18:14

As long as you stay home and don't do stupid things (like inviting all your friends and the neighbours round for a bbq, you can do whatever you like to pass the time. Why not? The only requirement is to stay at home (with just the people you actually live with) and not in contact with other people unless it's vital.

tiggerkid · 29/03/2020 18:19

Never heard anyone attacking people for taking time to sort out their houses or to have a BBQ if the weather is nice. I only don't know who is actually doing that given the fact that work from home definitely does not mean sorting out your house or having a BBQ.

Summersun77 · 29/03/2020 18:26

@SleepingStandingUp agreed! I’m with you

yearinyearout · 29/03/2020 18:27

We can go outside...

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/03/2020 18:35

tiggerkid not everyone is working from home. I am but DH has no work as he's a self employed handyman so he's going to to be decorating around me while I work. Anyway, I still only do my contracted hours so plenty of time for a BBQ afterwards!

HoffiCoffi13 · 29/03/2020 18:40

DH working from home saves 4 hours commute time (usually commutes from midlands into London) so he definitely has more time for bbq’s and DIY!

Daveybus · 29/03/2020 18:45

Last I heard Wickes etc are delivering. Just order on line.

bemusedmoose · 29/03/2020 19:03

I've had my nice quiet well behaved kids home schooling in the garden, sowing seeds for our veg garden, and one neighbour has been loudly complaining on the phone to someone about us always being in the garden and it's not fair because he then can't go out (we use to always chat and share plants so it's not that we don't get on) he usually slams the door really hard if he spots us outside.

neighbours on the other side taking the chance to get jobs done to keep themselves busy. As long as people are at home, not having people round, not trawling the high streets, how people spend time at home is their own business surely.

Being a holiday would be up the park all day in groups, a garden full of people partying....

I did want a little bbq for the kids when it was warm but decided grumpy neighbour was already grumpy enough.

RedToothBrush · 29/03/2020 19:03

my newsfeed is full of people who are complaining how bored they are, or who go on about how amazing it is to get paid for having fun all day.

I can hear the words of my mother ringing in my head from when I was a child

'Only boring people get bored'.

It used to properly do my head in...

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/03/2020 19:03

We've ordered paint from Homebase as Wickes have a queuing system to get onto their website!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/03/2020 19:05

bemusedmoose why can't your neighbour go out if you're in the garden? Our gardens are extremely narrow but we still manage to be out there at the same time as our neighbour!

Violinist64 · 29/03/2020 19:16

BruceandNosh, we had more than 24 hours' warning of lockdown. The likelihood of it was becoming more and more obvious for at least two weeks before it happened.

cakewench · 29/03/2020 19:18

I've seen this as well, OP, and it's crazy! Our local FB curtain twitching groups are full of it. The other day, someone complained about a man, sitting on his own property, drinking a beer in the sunshine. Are you kidding me? Are we all meant to sit around, wailing and gnashing our teeth 24/7 at this crisis?

There is more to come. We very well might be in that state eventually. If people are isolating, leave them be. That's the most important bit right now.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 29/03/2020 19:25

*I can hear the words of my mother ringing in my head from when I was a child

'Only boring people get bored'.

It used to properly do my head in...*

Oh yes! And accompanied by "Here you go. Go do some dusting"😂

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 29/03/2020 19:26

I am really quite disappointed I can't seem to find any local facebook group like people describe.

Lou12124 · 29/03/2020 19:29

OP I dont think it matters whether your inside or outside. Quiet or loud..some people just love to moan. I have seen alot of posts about people moaning about gardening and stuff like that. Unfortunately we all have alot of time on our hands and some cannot resist to comment just for the sake of a moan. Them people have a name. Pr*s!

geekone · 29/03/2020 19:37

@UnaCorda why is it only selfish now? I work from home all the time and have to put up with all sorts of noise. That’s life, if people need to DIY and have noisy tools right to cope with this shitstorm then why the bloody not. People should be finding enjoyment where they can as long as its within the guidelines.

cloudspotter · 29/03/2020 19:43

I totally agree. The amount of moaning and whingeing - and always about other people's behaviour.

I've seen threads on here and on Facebook attacking other people from every possible angle, whether it's about some perceived privilege: class, income, children, marital status.

I am under no illusion about this being tough, but it's really shitty on so many people.

Every single person I know in the private sector (incl self employed) has had terrible news or anxiety about their job/business.

Equally almost every person I know in the public sector has had the most stressful time of their working careers, either because of having to be directly exposed to the virus and carry on when others are able to stay safer at home, or having to work in an unprecedented way.

Poorer people are worrying about where the next meal or money to pay the next bill is coming from.

Richer people are worrying about losing their house or how to cover their massive fixed costs when their income has dried up.

For once it seems we are all genuinely in the shit together, and all some people can do is criticise other people's coping strategies, or gripe about rules that have been put there for everyone's safety.

I'm just going to continue to make the best of it. However bad it is for any one individual, there are probably hundreds of thousands more who have it equally bad or worse.

Nurturing resentments about other people who have come through this car crash better is not a productive way to behave.

I'm trying to knit, bake bread, catch up on some overdue household chores - and watch the odd thing on Netflix. No-one chose this existence, but we need to make the best of it.

Alena03 · 29/03/2020 20:32

I knew lockdown is in the future, so me and husband went and bought paint, plants, seeds and oil for fences, two weeks ago. So we finally doing things in the house and garden after our shifts as key workers.

mooboy · 29/03/2020 20:34

@cloudspotter Nurturing resentments....beautifully put! I applaud your spirit. Fear seems to be bringing out the worst in people...People screaming at others who are suffering from anxiety need to look in the mirror - there are lots of people on the edge on MN - more than usual...they can't all be trolls. We need firm calm leadership - but instead they seem to be encouraging envy, resentment, shame, fear, anxiety - curtain twitching...what a way to live - with all those negative emotions - it will lower the ability of the immune system to fight this illness - and it certainly won't make anyone's life better, no matter how good the cheap thrill feels in the short term.

BigChocFrenzy · 29/03/2020 20:39

"I think it's extremely inconsiderate to use noisy power tools at the moment when everyone is mainly stuck at home with cabin fever"

Yeah, nothing to do with infection, but if it goes on for hours you'll do your neighbour's head in

Also remember you might need them to do the favour of dropping off shopping, if someone gets ill

cloudspotter · 29/03/2020 20:50

@mooboy I liked your attitude - you're working really long hours while others are idle, but you have done the half full thing - grateful that you are still in work.

I don't fancy job hunting in the summer/autumn along with half the population, but I recognise that I worked long hours my entire career and at times I desperately wanted more time with the kids. This has forced my hand and I'm going to see it as the opportunity it is to make the glass half full.

Those who are resentful at people who have been furloughed - don't be. None of them have job security in this environment. Equally those resenting people still in work - they are keeping everything going for us, and are working harder than ever.

Grass always looks greener, doesn't it?