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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to make me feel less alone if you've lost it with their kids I already??

32 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 27/03/2020 19:34

Just that, really.

18 month old DS has been impossible today. Crying, complaining and tantrums pretty much all day.

I reached the evening in relative calm, but he spent 15 minutes whining in the kitchen whilst I was preparing his food, then proceeded to refuse to eat, instead throwing things across the table.

I lost it big style and really shouted. God, I feel awful.

I do genuinely feel a little embarrassed that I can't spend 4 days in the company of my own kid without losing my mind. Anyone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
AllesAusLiebe · 27/03/2020 19:36

. . . sorry that title makes no sense at all!! I need alcohol.

OP posts:
Dieu · 27/03/2020 19:39

Please do not worry. You are only human SmileThanksWine
I am generally a patient and laidback parent. I also work in education. But this week the homeschooling of my children has proven super fucking stressful and yes I've shouted.

Todayissunny · 27/03/2020 19:39

Dss 13,13 and 15. Ds 15 y.o. is ok but the other two.... Won't do work set by school. Wont get up. Winding each other up over stupid things like who has the milk first. Temper tantrums (at 13 y.o.) over screen time... at the end of the day I slammed a door so hard the door frame has broken.

Pentium85 · 27/03/2020 19:41

It would concern me much if you said you had never shouted or got stressed as a parent.

Many a time have I turned away from my toddler and mouthed "oh just shut the fuck up"

You're normal and totally human.

Give yourself a break, parenting is hard.

And hey, just be thankful to get all this anger out now and I dread the day I accidentally swear in front of my toddler and he repeats it back.

scrivette · 27/03/2020 19:41

I have shouted lots today.

DS1 has been an absolute nightmare, hurting the others, refusing to do anything I have asked, screaming and shouting all day and stomping around like a stroppy teenager.

Tomorrow is a new day (and the weekend so no home schooling).

thepeopleversuswork · 27/03/2020 19:41

I've had this today with DD (9). Refused to do the work set by the school for reasons unclear, was openly scornful of it and hummed over the top of me in a passive aggressive way when I tried to help her with it.

I totally lost my shit and threatened to send her to bed without food, (later retreated) before giving her a rant about how people are struggling and she was being a spoiled brat.

Feel awful now.

Slippingcareer · 27/03/2020 19:42

My 18mth old has also had me completely demented today, these are trying times. Go easy on yourself.

Dieu · 27/03/2020 19:44

@thepeopleversuswork

I think you were spot on! The humming over you would have me apoplectic!
Kids eh, who'd have them?! Grin
Have to say though, I don't feel so bad or alone now, reading this thread.

fuzzledface · 27/03/2020 19:45

I’m with my child full time usually anyway but not being able to distract him with the usual outings is driving us both bloody demented.

Rosebel · 27/03/2020 19:46

Don't worry I shouted at my 13 year old at 10 o clock this morning. 11 year old hasn't been too bad and has been doing school work but we are on our 3rd week (2 weeks,of isolation before school closed). Relieved my youngest has her routine back a bit. She's autistic and lack of structure has been a nightmare.
I like having the children home but it is very full on.

FromTheAllotment · 27/03/2020 19:46

My 4 yo is driving us all mad. I frequently thank any god listening for the fact that he can be extremely cute and adorable. Otherwise I think either DH or I would have had to build him a prison out of his own Lego by now.
So yeah, totally feel your pain. Flowers

mbosnz · 27/03/2020 19:49

You got to 18 months old, with a global pandemic going on and hadn't yet lost it?! Kudos. And Wine

xtinak · 27/03/2020 19:53

I can't cope with my 16 month old. I'm basically just curled in a ball.

SimonJT · 27/03/2020 20:01

My four year old barely survived the day, the thought of smothering was looking fairly attractive, he ended the day by purposely tipping my dinner off the kitchen worktop. I then locked myself in the bathroom to fume for a good five minutes. It was the last of our eggs and fresh veg.

We live in a tiny flat, I am not a naturally patient person.

chillandrelax · 27/03/2020 20:02

I've had a shocking 2 days. Shouting and crying, I actually feel like I'm sinking. My are older but I can't cope with the demands of three stuck in the house for months.

We are all doing our best. Tomorrow is another day and it's the weekend 😃

Pentium85 · 27/03/2020 20:05

Just as a reminder to every parent, don't expect your behaviour and household to remain normal in totally un-normal times.

Parenting is hard so give yourself a break.

Tomorrow is a new day.

squiglet111 · 27/03/2020 20:25

My ds(6) hasn't been too bad but my 2 year old dd has started to annoy me a bit as she wants my attention constantly. If I sit down on a chair with my laptop she will want to come sit on my lap too. If my son dares to want a hug she will cry and scream and attempt to push him off me! It's getting too much! My husband is no help. He's in his office "working" leaving me to deal with breakfast, lunch, dinner and their endless requests for snacks! I am meant to be working too!! But as he needs to take calls and I don't he feels he can be locked away in his office with no distractions 😠🔫

Dipi79 · 27/03/2020 20:28

YABVU to have 'lost it big style' and 'really shouted'. The poor child is only 18 months old. You're the adult.

InMyOwnParticularIdiom · 27/03/2020 20:34

Give over Dipi79. Yes, it's never great to shout at children but we are only human. At the moment, we are very stressed, frazzled humans and a lot of our usual coping mechanisms have been taken away. Shouting is going to happen. We need to apologise to our children with grace, then forgive ourselves and try to do better tomorrow.

Pentium85 · 27/03/2020 20:41

@Dipi79

Not helpful.

It can actually cause more harm than good by not showing children all levels of emotion.

CoodleMoodle · 27/03/2020 20:43

Today was better but I've lost it with both kids this week as well. And before that, but this week has been more intense. Trying to homeschool DD(6) with DS(20 months and clingy) hanging off me has been shit. And then when we're not doing school stuff they're both in my ear all day long! DD doing some work is actually easier because she's occupied and I've only got DS to deal with, but she needs help sometimes and he can't bear me giving her any kind of attention. And if I can't get there immediately she starts whinging that I'm not helping her...

DD constantly says I'm too bossy, DS won't let me go in the kitchen without following me... Argh! Love them dearly but these are extremely testing times.

Summercamping · 27/03/2020 20:50

Four kids under 10 in my house, and if I'd made it to Friday without shouting I would expect a medal. Yes, it's hard on the kids. But we explain as best we can, apologize, if it's warranted, give hugs, and move on.

I'm also having some lovely moments with them, I'm clinging onto those.

It's all a bit shit reallyWineCake so let's not beat ourselves up when we react to the stress

givemeacall · 27/03/2020 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cherrybunx0 · 27/03/2020 21:06

Pentium85 sorry you're completely wrong. I'm not berating the OP because like everyone else has alluded to these are strange times. however I dont think its healthy to be shouted at especially not as a young child.

it induces fear and teaches that's the way to handle things.

TheCanyon · 27/03/2020 21:09

Four dc 11 and under here and I've somehow managed to not shout them yet, I think only because I've been finishing up uni deadlines so dh has tried to entertain them as much as possible. Next week will maybe be a different story.